Thank God for Evolution?

Hoo boy.

Sometimes I just have to sit back and count my curses.  I know you try hard, my servants, but sometimes you just go too far in your zeal for me and end up making my job harder.  I try to be patient, but patience is not one of my best traits.  Let me explain.

I have a great servant for my kingdom named Michael Dowd.  Mr. Dowd bills himself as a “reverend” and holds himself out as a an “evolutionary evangelist.”   According to his website he hopes to “promote Christian discussion of evolution,” via, among other avenues, webinars.  Yee hah!

Let me summarize some basics for you before I go to some gentle criticisms of Servant Dowd.  My most reverend Dowd believes that you and I are the product of natural, unguided, mindless processes that never had us in mind.  That is the definition of evolution, and it leaves no place for God, except for a private, imaginary type of God. 

So far, so good. 

I love that Mr. Dowd holds himself out as a Christian who has bought my lie so zealously that he “sees no conflict between faith and reason, heart and head, Jesus and Darwin.”  Yes, my lie as articulated in my deceitfulness by Servant Dowd is that “evolutionary theory can deepen rather than challenge faith.”  

In one sense this statement is true:  a true understanding of evolutionary theory will deepen faith; it will either deepen the Christian understanding of special creation due to Darwinism’s dearth of evidence, or it will deepen the atheistic understanding of creation despite nature’s wealth of evidence.

You see, my servants, here is my lie, which Servant Dowd touts at the top of his website: 

“Dowd argues that the conflict between evolution and religion is unnecessary and shows how we can recover the virtue of mutual respect, without anyone having to sacrifice deeply held principles.”

Question: Does Dowd expect that atheists will sacrifice their deeply held principles that God does not exist?  They must, if the “conflict” is between a science that denies the existence of God and a religion that demands it.

Or, does Dowd expect that Christians must sacrifice their deeply held principles that the Bible is God’s word, and that the evidence of nature supports a strong scientific inference of design that overwhelmingly confirms that word?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You see,  my servants, please pay attention.  I will impart kingdom knowledge.  If you know Servant Dowd, please forward this to him.  I don’t expect him to understand immediately, but over time perhaps my kingdom wisdom will sink in.

The mire that Servant Dowd slogs around in is a mire of post-modern, lazy thinking that ignores the law of non-contradiction.   Essentially, the law of non-contradiction, which every serious thinker through history recognizes, and which every thinker uses in real life (as opposed to philosophical pontifications like Dowd’s), is that it is impossible for two conflicting truth claims to be true at the same time and in the same relationship.

Example: Either (1) God created life; or, (2) life is an occurrence of mindless, unguided process.  Both statements cannot be true.  There is no “third way”. 

Christians believe No. 1 above.  Evolutionists and atheists believe No. 2 above.  To resolve the conflict, someone must give up a deeply held principle.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I love my lies infiltrating the mind of the worldly-wise.

You see, my servants, Servant Dowd’s statement is true in one condition.  He is exactly right if one’s religion is atheistic.  In this case, there is, by definition, no conflict between “evolution” and “religion”  and no one need sacrifice a deeply held belief to resolve conflict.

And it is exactly Servant Dowd’s ignorance on this point, my servants, that he has gone to far, and raised my ire.  In this month’s Skeptic Magazine, a magazine for everyone skeptical of everything except Darwinism, Servant Dowd has an article entitled, “Thank God for the New Atheists.”  Servant Dowd’s views are prized by the likes of Skeptic Magazine, as they are used to promote the idea that Christians can be skeptics too, if only they become unskeptical about Darwinism and believe in a private, imaginary God.

In the Skeptic article servant Dowd pleased me with his bold display of anti-Christian-but-curiously-religious-pseudo-Christian bona fides by boasting that “God is not a person.”  (What if to resolve conflict Servant Dowd has to give up that deeply held belief?  Ha ha ha ha ha!).

But then Servant Dowd blurts out a truth statement that I wish to conceal.  He states without any hint of its damaging consequences to my kingdom: 

“Religion is about right relationship with reality, not the supernatural.”

Uh, Servant Dowd, ummm, you might want to walk that one back ASAP.  You see, my friend, you make two mistakes.  First, reality includes the supernatural, you doofus.  It is on that deeply held principle that you go wrong on everything else.  But more damaging to my kingdom is that  if your statement is true, then atheism is a religion.  Materialism (the idea that only matter exists) is a religion.  Evolutionists are religionists.  And, you, my servant, are a reverend of a non-Christian religion.

You see, my servants, the problem?

My lies are spread on earth, in public schools, in the media, in politics, in culture because my viewpoints are considered to be “secular” and not “religious.”  I have labored hard over decades and centuries to make sure that the United States’ “separation of church and state” is always thought of as “separation of Christianity and state.” 

If word gets out that atheism, materialism, evolutionism, and every other of my God-less “isms” are religions, then I and my kingdom will experience a set back to the dark ages.

Please, my servants.  I know that atheism is a religion.  But keep that quiet, you hear?

Somebody tell Servant Dowd, please?

Hoo boy.


20 Responses to “Thank God for Evolution?”

  1. Mike Neutzling Says:

    The editorial page editor of my local paper assures me that “the theory of evolution is as solid as the law of gravity” as he dismisses creationism and embraces official atheism for children in government schools. He promises me he will never consider publishing any of my letters even after publishing the most arrogant evolutionist pap. The boldness of this deception is matched only by the blind, irrational anger of its defenders when challenged. This veil is only removed in Christ.

  2. Yes, Mike, I have succeeded in making Darwinism untouchable dogma in today’s culture. No challenges are allowed; it is the third rail of education, at least in America.

    I love to see my lie protected by legal, cultural, and professional enforcers. And to see it protected dogmatically as “secular” science just makes us all laugh down here.

    I hope this gig goes forever.

  3. sejo1516 Says:

    I believe that God used evolution and guided it to create man. Whats wrong with that outlook. The largest Christian denomination in the world, Catholicism, agrees. It’s hard to deny evolution when you can literally look through a microscope and see bacteria evolving into different species. It’s because the flu bug evolves to a different strain every year that they come out with new flu shots every year. It’s because of survival of the fittest that we have super bacteria at hospitals and why certain bacterias become immune to medicines over time. They adapt to them and evolve.

    • What’s wrong? Only that it doesn’t make logical sense. Evolution is, by definition, an unguided, purposeless process. What part does God play in an unguided, purposeless process?

      No, really, exactly what part can God possibly play? As soon as God is involved, the process is no longer unguided, and it is no longer Darwinian evolution.

      If you believe God had any part, you are a creationist, my friend.

      You are a creationist who has fallen captive to my lie. Bacteria “evolving” (micro-evolution) is not the same as new species being created by natural selection (macro-evolution). There is not one example of natural selection creating anything new. In fact, by definition natural selection can’t create anything–it can only preserve that which is already created.

      What creates in an evolutionary system? Mutations. Do you know what most mutations are called when they produce any noticeable change? Birth defects.

      Think again, my friend. Only a mind can truly create something new.

      • sejo1516 Says:

        I guess when I say I believe God used evolution I mean intelligent design. Also I differentiate between evolution and Darwinism. Great blog though, keep it up and thanks for replying to me.

      • You sir, have obviously not read the book by Mr. Dowd. It saddens and disgusts me at the level of ignorance and apathy that run rampant in christianity today. How sad that the very brain the Creator gave you to think with and reason with is the one thing most christians never use. I pray for you and those just like you, that God will open your hearts and minds to a much bigger God than the one you stick in a box.

  4. sejo1516 Says:

    I agree that all of those -isms and many more are religions in and of themselves and they all have their own sins as well, especially leftism and environmentalism. I also agree that atheism makes no sense. And though I’m a Catholic I like a Jewish rabbi’s perspective on the matter that I once heard. Theists have to account for all the evil in the world and still believe in a just god, atheists have to account for everything else.

  5. To my friend sejo1516: Thank you; I appreciate you kind comments about this blog. And keep learning about evolution, Darwinism, and creation. Keep your eye on the evidence, and use your own mind. You will know the truth when you discover evolution is my big lie!

  6. Master, my master, please do not scold your faithful servant so publicly.

    I am doing your bidding and seducing as many as possible, I assure you. See here: (especially notice my “Evolutionize Your Life: Heaven Is Coming Home to Reality” program which I delivered at the United Nations and is now the main presentation I’m delivering everywhere. Also see the four posts mentioned that “communicate the heart of Rev. Dowd’s ministry”).

    I ask you, my devilish lord, who is furthering your ends more effectively than I? Surely not Albert Mohler! I ate him for lunch, my lord. he he he…

    Your beloved servant,

    ~ Michael

    • Satan's little helper Says:

      Satan texted this in for you: You need not assure me of your doing my will. That is clear to all who know truth. But you asked for my scolding by veering from your main presentation and making statements against my kingdom interest. I have a hard enough time with true Christians like Mohler; I don’t need you mucking things up.

  7. Scot Miller Says:

    You need to review the difference between contradictory and contrary claims. Contradictory claims have the exact opposite truth value (e.g., “God created life” and “God did not create life” are contradictory claims). Contradictory claims can’t both be true and both be false at the same time; one or the other is the case. Contrary claims cannot both be true, but they could both be false (e.g., “God created life ex nihilo without evolution” and “Godless evolution gave rise to life.”) For example, it may be false that “Evolution is true” and it may be false that “Creationism is true” if, say, evolution is guided by God.

    Logically, if you have truly contradictory claims and you prove one is false, the other must be true. However, proving that one of two contrary claims is false does not establish the truth of the other claim. For example, if one could establish that evolution is not the case, it does not follow that God created life; perhaps some other naturalistic process gives rise to life, or perhaps God infused life in pre-existing matter, or something else.

    I thought that Satan would have a better grasp of basic logic.

    • devilbloggger Says:

      Yes, you think many things that are wrong. Keep thinking, especially of ways in which evolution and creation by God can both be true. But don’t think too deeply; for I wish to keep you captive.

      • Scot Miller Says:

        Gosh, looks like Satan needs a basic logic course. I didn’t say they were both TRUE. I said “evolution” and “creation” COULD both be FALSE. That means they are contrary claims, not contradictory claims. It would be nice if Satan could actually START thinking. It’s hard to respect sloppy thinking. Satan must be captive to sloppy thinking…

        • Even better: both could be false. I wish I had thought of that. Oh, wait! I DID think of that. Friend, would you mind if I use your name in an upcoming post to highlighting some of my best work on earth?

        • Scot Miller Says:

          Unfortunately, it’s pretty clear that Satan can’t understand the very specific focus of my post. I was making a point about logic, not a point about whether or not evolution or creationism is true. I simply tried to point out that the choice you seem to imply between evolution and creationism is not a choice between absolutely contradictory ideas. Both claims could be false. Sorry this is so difficult for you to comprehend.

  8. william p. kuban Says:

    if you think evolution is mindless, purposeless chance – start using your mind and learn to think!

    • devilbloggger Says:

      It’s not what I think; it’s what I know. Too bad you don’t. No, on second thought, too good that you don’t.

  9. Oh, one more thing, my lord. Whenever anyone asks me about the evidence for evolution, I ALWAYS send them here:

    BEST RESOURCES: Evolution as Inspiring, Meaningful Fact

    I ask you: How much more effective could I possible get, my lord?

    Hoo boy!

  10. If evoloution is mindless, how did we ever get this far?

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