Finally someone wakes up to the crisis of Crisis Pregnancy Centers

Crisis?  What crisis?

I’m in a good mood today, my servants, after reading in the Baptist Press an article entitled, “Abortion rights supporters find new target: crisis pregnancy centers.”  Finally, a few good mayors and legislators in the United States are demanding that so-called “crisis pregnancy centers” declare that they do not support the constitutional rights of already-born women. 

Everyone knows that the US Founding Fathers were all about minimizing the number of Founding Mothers, so they conveniently provided in the US Constitution a right to Unplanned Unparenthood.

Of course, it took 200 years to cipher the code, but those Americans finally found the magic penumbra, in which abortion was found hiding, and, no doubt, in which many more dark secrets are yet to be found.  And the rest is mystory, my servants (as opposed to history). 

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Of course, my anti-choice pro-choice servants don’t support the constitutionally enshrined right to life, liberty and property of all human beings, so maybe the constitutional issue is a wash.

In any event, it’s about time my pro-choice servants woke up to our dwindling business prospects and started upping revenues by making at least the wrong choice more difficult.

And so they are.  According to the Baptist Press article:

“After years of staying mostly out of the spotlight, pro-life crisis pregnancy centers are increasingly coming under political attack in cities nationwide where some legislators and mayors are demanding the centers explicitly declare — in exterior signs and even in ads — that they do not perform abortions.”

Yes.  Can you believe it, my servants?  An outfit billing itself as a “crisis pregnancy center” that does not even provide the fastest, easiest way to end the crisis and the pregnancy. 


On top of that, I see the trends, my servants.  In America every day fewer and fewer already-born women are choosing the only pro-choice choice. 

Double disgusting!

Of course, the devious pro-lifers say that such legislation:

”could lead to an uptick in abortions because some women — who otherwise would be open to hearing about alternatives to abortion — will be deterred from even entering the building.”

Duh!  That’s the whole point of pro-choice–take away that choice from already-born women. Planned Parenthood doesn’t make any money from that choice. 

And the dirty little secret, my servants, is just that: at bottom Planned Parenthood’s pro-choice smokescreen reduces to a love of money. 

Don’t believe me?  Why else would a “pro-choice” organization care which choice a woman makes?

No, really, why?

But that’s confidential kingdom knowledge, my servants.  Keep that between us.

Let’s just hope the courts stop striking down restrictions on crisis pregnancy clinics.  It seems that courts more often than not declare unconstitutional laws that require crisis pregnancy centers to declare what services they do not provide.  As one attorney expected to weigh in on behalf of the new New York law stated:

“As an attorney, I don’t have to have a sign on my door that says I don’t do balloon characters. There’s no other situation in the world where in any kind of business you have to say what you don’t provide.”

Come to think of it, my servants, maybe I shouldn’t be in such a good mood.

What if someone passes a law stating that Planned Parenthood clinics must state that they aren’t pro-choice after all?

What if a legislature passes a law stating that Planned Parenthood must have big signs proclaiming that they do not provide free services such as pregnancy tests, ultrasound exams, prenatal care, childbirth classes, testing for sexually transmitted diseases, post-abortion counseling and material assistance?

What if a mayor gets smart and requires that Planned Parenthood clinics inform their victims (the older one, at least) that they will not see any depictions of the little victim in detail?

Maybe I shouldn’t be in such a good mood after all.

Drats again.


Note: To read more devilbloggger posts on the topic of abortion, see:

Lights Out: A Modern Bedtime Story. 

Shhhh . . . abortion in the US can end the same way slavery ended

Botched abortion = murder? It’s a joke, right?

One Palin Two Palin Three Palin Four

Abortion, my trifecta


2 Responses to “Finally someone wakes up to the crisis of Crisis Pregnancy Centers”

  1. “Everyone knows that the US Founding Fathers were all about minimizing the number of Founding Mothers, so they conveniently provided in the US Constitution a right to Unplanned Unparenthood.

    Of course, it took 200 years to cipher the code,…”

    LOL Yeah.

  2. Oh Satan, how you love your hollow victories. Don’t you know that you and your no-choice pro-choice cronies are operating in a panic — afraid because the truth is not as easy to conceal as it once was. This latest “win” for the pro-abortion lobby is further proof that you and your minions are grasping at straws. I have faith and hope that the well-meaning but mislead advocates of places like Planned Parenthood will soon see through these corrupt efforts and recognize the greed beneath them. So enjoy your pathetic little victory. Despite being disappointed with this recent win for your side, I will comfort myself by meditating on a recent gift I received. I tell you, there is something so inspiring about seeing your skull being crushed under the marble foot of my new St. Michael statue — this is what awaits you. So laugh while you still can 🙂

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