Terrible News Tuesday (No. 4)

Alliance.

Do you know what I like almost more than anything, my servants?  Division.  I love to divide families, communities, nations, and, most of all the Body of Christ.  Imagine a body all chopped up, its various parts rendered useless by their disconnectedness to the head. 

Abortion?  Of course, but I’m speaking figuratively, although, all destruction by tearing apart what God put together makes a beautiful sight.

Which brings me to some terrible news today. 

Do you know what I dis-like more than just about anything else?  Unity.  Blechhhh!

That’s why I reluctantly bring you bad news today, my servants.  Imagine my trepidation when someone brought me the Christianity Today headline entitled, “An Improbable Alliance.”    It seems that Catholic and evangelical theologians are successfully seeking common ground on religious liberty, an issue that I’ve used to cause frequent strife between the two groups.

Oh my.

Maybe I pushed liberty-crushing political correctness too far.  Maybe I disguised prejudice against Christianity behind the smokescreen of tolerance a little too well.  Maybe God is working in the hearts of Christians . . . bah!

I remember when I tried to abort the early body of Christ by splitting up the early church.  I had various factions quarreling among one another; one saying “I follow Paul,” another, “I follow Apollos,” another, “I follow Peter,” another, “I follow Christ.”

Then the apostle Paul (whom I thought would be flattered to have had a denomination named after him, like Wesley or Luther) came along and put a stop to that.  “Is Christ divided?” he asked.

Ouch!

Paul heaped on the truth of unity in the Body of Christ:

“Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. . . . [W]e preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”

But, fortunately, men continued to trade the foolishness of God for the wisdom of men.  And once Paul left the scene wise men once more began dividing up to follow Paul, Apollos, Peter, and, a very few, Christ.

It was a beautiful sight.

That’s why this “Improbable Alliance” makes me ill.  The alliance, manifested in a group called “Evangelicals and Catholics Together” (ECT), seeks to bring together all Christ followers in a common cause. 

Evangelicals and Catholics together?

Impossible, right?  I mean, come on, what possibly could bring these two together?  That’s like a group called “Water and Oil Together.”  The only way that could happen is with great agitation.

Oh, wait . . .

Hmmm . . .

Yes, maybe you, my servants, screwed up with your politically correct intolerant agitation and stirring up of religious bigotry.  According to the article, ECT seeks to restore lost religious liberty:

“Now we are standing together to defend the religious liberty of all believers, which is under assault around the world and in the U.S.”

And the ECT Godpunks go further, taking deadly aim at our kingdom, my servants, by recognizing up front that while the two groups have serious theological differences, joining together in alliance has great value:

“It allows us to make common cause on the great moral issues facing our culture, including the sanctity of life, the dignity of marriage, and religious freedom.”

Learn this carefully, my servants: this is code language for efforts at joining in alliance to stop abortion on demand, prevent same-sex marriage legislation, and restore religious liberties in the public square.

You can see why I’m peeved. 

I just hope this doesn’t catch on.  I hope Catholics continue to condemn Protestants and Protestants to look down their noses at Catholics.

At least then I still have those who are of Peter and those who are of Paul, which leaves very few who manifest truly being of Christ.

Alliance?  History is on my side.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

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