Ping pong or Jesus? Easy. Just keep the abortions coming.

Ping pong.

There’s a mix of good news and bad today on the wires today, my servants.  On the good news side, who would ever have thought that ping pong would beat Jesus on the scale of approval by which public school officials weigh student priorities?   Well, I mean who besides moi, of course!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

The good news I refer to today is from a Fox News story entitled “School Bans Christian Club.”  You will love this, my servants.  This is my will on earth in action.  It seems some Godpunk students wanted to start a Christian club at (I’m not making up this name) Hicksville High School in Islip, New York, USA. 

The good principal (Brijinder Singh?) of Hicksville Godless High School did the right thing, however, by, according to the story saying, “I ain’t havin’ none of them dang Christians in my dadgum skool.”  Or something to that effect.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And she meant it, dad burnit!

And do you know why?  Because there is no funding for another klub at Hicksville School for Atheists, especially not a Christian club.  In 2008, according to the Fox News story:

the principal denied a similar request and said that any religious club must be “multi-faith,” open to all religions and must allow non-believers to lead the club.

Well, now, that’s my kind of principal.  This makes as much sense as saying that the school administration must be “multi-IQ” and must allow imbeciles to lead the school. 

Why not?

No, really, why not?

But my good principal didn’t have the IQ to be totally honest with parents.  According to the story she stated that the school didn’t have the money in the budget for a Christian club.

But they have the money for a ping pong club, a ski club, a debate club, and 32 other clubs.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

My servants make my day.

And it’s a good thing, because now, the bad news.  What is wrong with America on the issue of abortion, my servants?  I’m losing my grip.  Just today I see a headline at the entitled, “House Passes ‘No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act’ 251 to 175.” 

What?  Didn’t each of those 251 congressmen and congresswomen swear to uphold the Constitution of the United States?  Isn’t abortion a rock solid constitutional right, engraved right into the original document somewhere between free speech and freedom of religion?

And why, my servants, would anyone object to taxpayer funding for a fundamental right of all already-born women and their irresponsible already-born menfolk?

Are Americans going soft on killing?  Apparently so, my friends.  According to the Weekly Standard story, polls show that Americans overwhelmingly oppose federal funding of abortion or allowing federally subsidized insurance plans to cover abortions. 

I don’t understand.  I’ve owned the public schools in America for decades now.  I’ve got them playing ping pong instead of going to Bible clubs.  I’ve taught every little chillen within my control, i.e., every public school chillen, the lie of safe sex with no consequences.  And I’ve gotten school administrators to leave their ping pong games long enough to guide scared little girls who found a consequence to terminate the consequence without any fuss from anyone, including parents (unless an aspirin was necessary also; that requires parental consent).

I don’t understand.  You, my servants, will be held directly responsible if I see any significant decline in my favorite American pastime: killing one, wounding one, destroying many.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Now, get to work electing officials who understand my will on earth.


2 Responses to “Ping pong or Jesus? Easy. Just keep the abortions coming.”

  1. Mike N. Says:

    I wonder what Brijinder Singh’s position would be on doing anything that Moslem’s would deem offensive? Our country now bends over backward to pre-dhimmitize our culture while stigmatizing Christianity. Interesting how the Left has found common cause with Islam and vice-versa.

  2. Satan, you are truly a crafty one. Indeed, I just heard of a heavy metal band “Texas in July” who calls themselves “Christian.” Only you could be behind such an action, for I saw your face in many of their fans as they put their full support behind the band’s actions to play a benefit concert for an abortion organization. When Christian pro-lifers tried to speak out against the band’s actions by creating a “Boycott Texas in July until they Stop Support Sex, etc.” page on Facebook, their fans appeared at the page in droves: posting sacrilegious pictures and hailing you personally. Only you could deceive people — even people who think they’re Christian — into supporting such things, into saying such things. And, the worst part about it, is that you have convinced them that they are doing these things in the name of Christ.

    I admit … this is another win for you.

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