Moral awakening? Or malleable Jesus?


Oh, how I love [a malleable] Jesus
Oh, how I love [a malleable] Jesus
Oh, how I love [a malleable] Jesus
Because he first loved me [and affirms me in my chosen lifestyle because he loves everyone regardless of their selfish love of their abominable unrepented sin].

Do you know that song?  I put in brackets the words Jesus hears when most American Christians sing this old-time favorite.  Don’t believe me?  I have two confirmatory articles today, my servants. 

The first comes from CNNs Belief Blog, in which author Stephen Prothero makes a very astute observation about American Christianity.  In a piece entitled, My Take: Poll on bin Laden’s death reveals a disposable Jesus, Prothero comments on his observations of the various responses of Christians and those who call themselves Christians in the aftermath of Osama bin Laden’s homecoming.  Most insightfully, Prothero concludes:

One thing that struck me hard while researching my 2003 “American Jesus” book was how malleable Jesus is in the American imagination. Instead of lording over American life, telling us what to do, he seems to be taking orders from us, carrying our water.

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

How true!

Or, as he put it back then:

The American Jesus is more a pawn than a king, pushed around in a complex game of cultural (and countercultural) chess, sacrificed here for this cause and there for another.

Do you not agree?  Let me give you an example of Prothero’s insight in action.  Virginia’s Episcopalians will have to move a little further to God’s left, because the Presbyterian Church (USA) just voted their way to a moral awakening to allow openly gay and lesbian people to become ordained ministers.

I know, my servants.  I know.

I am good.  But this is not about me, per se, it’s about those who believe my lies, and I have many true believers, even in the Presbyterian Church (USA).  You can read all about it in the Huffington Post in a piece by The Rev. Dr. Janet Edwards (Presbyterian minister).  My good servant Edwards reports Christianity’s turn to morality with some glee in a piece entitled, “The Moral Awakening of Mainstream Christianity.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

The Presbyterian Church (USA), Mainstream Christianity?

From my view, it is neither.

But anyway, my servants, Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister) has much to say that pleases me, and shows the truth of Mr. Prothero’s hypothesis of a truly malleable Jesus.

Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister) reports even before all the votes came in the following:

With over half of the presbyteries now voting “yes,” our church has taken a bold step towards inclusion that brings the third largest Mainline Christian denomination more in line with the teachings of Jesus Christ; that His love embraces all.

Do you see Jesus all malleabled up in her mushy humanness?  The reason ordaining gays and lesbians is “in line” with the teachings of Jesus Christ is because “His love embraces all.”

Hey, Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister), why, then do you not ordain open pedophiles, open ax murderers, open wife beaters, open drug addicts, open blasphemers, sinners openly flaunting what Jesus condemns — oops, sorry, you already ordain that last one.

Why not?

No, really, why not?  If Jesus’ “love embraces them all” why not ordain anyone and everyone?

Why not ordain me?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you see my lie in action, my servants?  Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister) has a very malleable Jesus, a Jesus who “is more a pawn than a king, pushed around in a complex game of cultural chess.” 

Squishing Jesus into an almost unrecognizable shape, Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister) provides this end that justifies her squishing means:

With 76% of Americans identifying themselves as Christian, it’s critically important that progressives of faith give witness and show how Scripture supports the full inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people into our churches, communities, and civil institutions.

Here we see a major flaw in her justificationization.  Let me impart some kingdom truth for you, my servants.  Please keep these truths confidential; this is kingdom knowledge for your eyes only.  Here it is:  

First, Christians are not those who “identify themselves” as Christians.  Christians are those whom God has worked an inward work of faith resulting in a heart-changed desire to please Him by obeying His word.

Second, trust me on this one, my servants, “progressives of faith” are rarely, if ever, Christians.  Yes, they “identify themselves” as Christians, but that’s because their “Christ” is a squished up version of the true Christ.

Third, to say that “Scripture supports the full inclusion of lesbian, gay . . . into our churches” is only meaningful if Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister) is willing to keep the list going with “open pedophiles, open ax murders, and the like.  Scripture says the same thing about pedophiles as it does about lesbians. 

Of course, let’s hope that never happens because that might cause a true moral awakening!


8 Responses to “Moral awakening? Or malleable Jesus?”

  1. Mike N. Says:

    The Presbyterians, like Rob Bell, only want to “leave room for uncertainty”. They are echoing your “has God said?” moment.

  2. john lennon Says:

    Satan, you’re a genius

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