Coming May 21, 2011: Amusement Day

Judgment Day.

I learn something new almost every day, my servants.  This week I learned that there is a typo in the Bible, God’s word.  There’s a part in the Bible where Jesus (blechhhh!) says of his sure return that “no man knows the day or the hour.”  Now I find out that it should read “one man knows the day or the hour.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh my, my servants.  Sometimes Christians amuse even me.  And we are coming up on Amusement Day this Saturday, May 21, 2011.  In case you missed it, Harold Camping a Christian minister and head of a live weeknight call-in program on Family Radio, is again, doing what even Jesus can not do: naming the date of Jesus’ return. 

Camping’s first attempt at showing he knows something only God can know was back in September, 1994.  But this time, he’s sure.

You can read all about it at the wecanknow.com website, where we are assured that this time Camping really, really knows, and we should prepare accordingly.  One True Believer Blogger is so sure May 21st is the day that he says “I am not even including May 21, 2011 in the category of prediction, but in the realm of absolute fact.”   This blogger has even planned ahead; he has these reassuring words for all you unbelievers out there:

After the May 21 Rapture, many of us will no longer be here, but this blog will live on.  I have scheduled new posts to come out between May 21st and October 21st 2011, that will help those dealing with the End Times of the Apocalypse.  If you do not think you will be saved in the May 21 Judgement Day Rapture, then please bookmark this page now to visit on May 22.

Well, that’s a relief, I’m sure.  I’ll wait while all my servants go to the link and bookmark it.

Bookmarked?

Great. 

My servants, let me impart some kingdom knowledge.  This is for your eyes only.  Please pay attention. 

As one leading voice of sanity, Dr. Tim LaHaye has said,

Our Lord Jesus Himself said of the time when He will return to rapture His church to Heaven…that no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, but my Father only (Matthew 24:36).

I might add that the angels in Hell also do not know. 

Dr. Tim LaHaye continues:

Nothing can be clearer about the return of Christ for His Church than the well established fact that absolutely no one but God the Father knows “the day and the hour” when our Lord will return.

Do you see what is happening here, my servants?  I’ve taken what God intended to be a “readiness provision” of his plan and turned it into a side show.  Mr. Camping is certainly wrong, and his high-profile wrongness will only serve to cement in many people’s’ minds that Christianity is nothing more than a circus, and Mr. Camping is one of its freak shows. 

I trembled the first time I learned of God’s plan to keep Jesus’ return a secret.  I knew that such a strategy could result in Christians living their lives in a constant state of readiness, as if at any minute Jesus would return like a thief in the night. 

My nightmare scenario had Christians standing vigilant against my wiles, seeking “thy will be done on earth,” and generally focusing hour by hour on Godly labors in anticipation of their Lord’s return. 

Of course, my fears were totally unfounded.  Now I see that it is a rare Christian who actually lives as if the thief exists, much less might actually come some night.  Many Christians, and virtually all those who call themselves Christians, rarely give Jesus’ return a thought. 

I think many will be caught unawares, including Mr. Camping and his gang of followers.

So if Mr. Camping’s Side Show II serves merely to make more people leery of Christianity and its claims, then I say let the show begin!

And rest assured, my servants, I, too, will be blogging on May 22, 2011.

So bookmark this blog as well.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

3 Responses to “Coming May 21, 2011: Amusement Day”

  1. Mike N. Says:

    Yes, many find the idea of the return of the King quaint, even amusing. Again, that is not just outside the church.
    But those outside the church will be taken as unawares as those “in the days of Noah”. They’ll be in their fast-food drive-throughs, local bars, or home watching the latest royal wedding on television thinking to themselves, “What a joke all those prophecy nuts are! We have evolved from sea slime, so why waste my time with this bible babble! Everything will just go on as it always has. Pass the beer nuts!”
    Those who profess to be Christians however have no excuse for such faithless, lazy thinking. They have the clear warnings from the King Himself that they are to be watching for a prophetic season that the prophet Daniel said “only the wise” will understand. These people will be wise because they have spent time with what God Himself, through His prophets in both the Old and New Testaments, declares to be of utmost importance: His word concerning the return and coming reign of His Son on this earth.
    Jesus condemned the Jews for their lack of prophetic knowledge and faithful watchfulness. He warned them that their coming destruction at the hands of the Romans was largely due to the fact that they “did not recognize the time of your visitation”. Why? Becuase they were willfully ignorant in heart and mind about Messianic prophecy! Heck, all of Jerusalem slept through Christ’s prophesied birth and it took foreigners, the Magi, to spark the least interest (and it ended up being murderous interest!) in the nation of Israel.
    I remain utterly flabbergasted at this repeat of history with the “Church”. This lack of interest in what the bible actually says about these end times (a huge portion of both the Old and New Testaments) is a scandal. It leads people to blindly follow date-setters and other charlatans while missing the the true signs of this season. Satan has indeed played us as fools.

  2. Michele Erickson-Garcia Says:

    This blog is great!

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