Pedophilia? That’s child’s play.

Unnatural.

I love everything unnatural, you know.  And when it comes to unnatural, there’s hardly anything that puts a smile on my face as unnatural sexual relations.  I love to see the humans subject themselves to harmful practices, and in the area of sex it seems humans are more than willing to oblige my affections.  And the best part?  It saddens the heart of God.

Oh yeah!

So I was in big smiley-face mode today, my servants, after reading the AP news story entitled, “Shock after Dutch priest endorses pedophilia.”  Yes, you read it right, my friends.  It appears that a Salesian priest in Amsterdam served on the board of a group that promotes pedophilia, and this with his boss’ full knowledge (and God’s, but that apparently is beside the point).

Big boys (priest “Father Van B.” is 73 years old) playing doctor with little chillens.  Well, who are you to judge!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

It appears that Father Van B. and his boss, are quoted as saying of their child’s play that “such relationships aren’t always harmful.”

Well, playing with dynamite is not always harmful, now, is it?

Now, get this, my servants, and then congratulate me on my making God’s moral order a complete mockery.  Daddy Van B.’s boss,  a dude named Herman Bonk, I mean Spronck, is quoted as saying that,

he was aware of Van B.’s pedophilia and membership in Martijn, and even of two instances where the priest had been fined by police for exposing himself in public. But he said he didn’t think that was sufficient reason to ban him from the order.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

This is a joke, right?  That was not reason for Spronck to ban my pervman from the order?

Then I ask you, my servants, what would have gotten Father Van Pervert banned from the order?  Something would, it just depends on where my friend Spronck’s shock line is.

And here is a great lesson in my kingdom, my servants.  Pay attention.  This is kingdom knowledge, please handle accordingly.

My job can be summed up fairly succinctly as “moving the shock line.” 

What do I mean by that?  I’ll tell you.

There was a time when a married couple sleeping in the same bed on television was shocking. There was a time when unwed couples sleeping in the same bed was shocking.  There was a time when publicly blaspheming God by using his name in vain was shocking.  There as a time when bikini bathing suits was shocking.  There was a time when viewing a woman’s breasts would have been shocking, much less her other parts. There was a time when unwed mothers was shocking.  There was a time when large numbers of people living as government-sponsored freeloaders would have been shocking. 

There was a time . . .

You see, my servants, “shock” is relative.  And shock is only shock the first time. After the second, third and fourth time one is exposed to the “shocking” idea, it is no longer shocking. 

And that’s how I work. 

Everyone, my servants, and I mean everyone, even servant Spronck, has a line over which some behavior is “shocking.”  Remember a few years ago the famous American Super Bowl “wardrobe malfunction” in which one of Janet Jackson’s breasts was exposed on television during the halftime show?

Some found it “shocking,” others found it no big deal.

But if you asked the “no big deal” folks “what if all her clothes fell off?” you would get an entirely different reaction.

Again, everyone has a line over which some behavior is “shocking.” 

And my job is merely to keep moving the line.  Today it is breasts exposed in front of children watching television; tomorrow it’s the whole body.  After that . . . well, I’ll find something.

Today it’s pedophilia; tomorrow it’s bestiality.

Today it’s same sex marriage; tomorrow it’s polygamy.

Don’t worry, my servants.  The line will be moved.  After all, who’s to judge?

No, really, who is to judge?

Someday pedophilia will be mere child’s play among adults.

And the beat goes on.

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