Why not Christ IN the Pacific?

Statues.

What is it with South Americans, my servants?  I opened my computer this morning (I use an Apple, by the way; I just love their logo!) and what did I read?  The Telegraph (UK) blared the headline: Giant Statue of Jesus Christ opened in Peru.  And an LA Times article confirmed it was called “Christ of the Pacific”.

Blechhhh!

It wasn’t enough that Cristo Redentor (Christ the Redeemer) stands over Rio De Janeiro.  That statue (which I hate) has become an icon of Rio and Brazil, standing 39.6 meters tall.  I almost kept Cristo Redentor in its dreamer’s head in the late 1800s.  Brazilians dismissed the idea when Brazil became a republic in 1889 with laws mandating the separation of church and state. 

We celebrated Brazil’s great wisdom.

But, alas, eventually Christ the Redeemer was built in the 1920s and has since been named one of the New Seven Wonders of the World.

And then last year a “gigantic” statue of Christ was erected in Poland.  Standing almost 58 meters tall from the base, it is said to be marginally taller than Brazil’s Christ the Redeemer. Despite my counterfeit signs of divine disapproval, the statue was finished and stands today as a blemish on my desired kingdom.

I try to ignore all these huge statues of Jesus.  The very sight makes me ill. 

And now, my servants, we must also deflect the stares of people on the Pacific side of South America with the newly inaugurated Cristo del Pacifico (Christ of the Pacific) on a hill overlooking Lima Peru.

What am I to do, my servants?  I tried striking Christ the Redeemer with lightning but could only do minor damage.  We do try to do as much damage as we can.  Last year we struck a 62-foot high statue of Jesus in Ohio with lighting, causing it to be completely destroyed.  But it was made of combustable material.  I’m not sure what we can do about Cristo del Pacifico.

Here’s why I’m bothered, my servants.  I know these are merely statues.  And I know that many think they are ugly eyesores.  Susan Villaran, the mayor of Lima, labelled Cristo del Pacifico “a plastic copy of the Christ of Corcovado [Christ the Redeemer]” in Rio de Janeiro.

Ugly.  Plastic copy.  Eyesore. 

Yes, but they still stand.  And people still flock to them.  People look, take pictures, consider the subject, and go away changed. 

People are seeing a representation of Jesus Christ.  And if only one is changed by what he or she sees, I lose.

Why won’t someone build a large statue of me?  I certainly control the thoughts and minds of the people of many countries more than Jesus does, right?

Right. 

Now, my servants, get busy.  Build me my statue.  

And make it taller than any Jesus statue anywhere.

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3 Responses to “Why not Christ IN the Pacific?”

  1. well they are building some large ones in Mexico ans along the U.S. border to one of your aliases santa muerte, But don’t get too excited they won’t stand long ..The time is near you know and Jesus is coming soon < JOHN IN EL PASO

  2. Dear Devil,

    I hate to say but someone is arguing that you are losing.
    I am not quite sure about the score, but look yourself:

    http://the-american-catholic.com/2011/06/29/in-cleveland-church-one-satan-zero/

    Regarding Brazilian Christ the Redeemer in Rio, it was interesting to see your servants down here in Brazil when the statute was selected to be one of the wonders of the world. I heard nasty thinks, you would enjoy.

    Best,
    Pedro Erik

  3. Pagan Shrine
    One should stand at the base of this shrine and look over the slum below and wonder who could be so cruel as to spend for this. When all the poor souls below could use the medical aid or education the money could provide
    May god help those that get this as a gift and not the help they need so bad.
    PS: it also overlooks the unfinished observatory started in 1961

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