How to make an atheist cross

Cross.

You know I hate crosses, don’t you?  Crosses represent everything that I oppose, everything that I despise, everything that I wish I could change but cannot.  Crosses represent the one act, the one event, the one person of ultimate life.  O Death, where is my sting?

Blechhh!

Fortunately for my kingdom, me and mine are not the only beings in the universe who hate crosses.  One other class of beings also hates the cross, a class of humans who believe in disbelief, have a different faith, and hate the cross: atheists.

Humans are the only kind of being in the entire universe who can believe God does not exist; all other beings know the truth.  All other beings in Heaven and Hell are theists.

In fact, atheists also know the truth.  That’s why they try so hard to disbelieve

Do you know who theists write about? 

Right!  God.

Do you know who atheists write about? 

Right again!  God!

Why do atheists spend so much time thinking, writing, speaking, and generally fulminating about God?  Do atheists spend equal amounts of time and anguish insisting Bigfoot does not exist?

So it was with some amusement, my servants, when I read today’s article at CNN entitled, “Atheist group wants to stop World Trade Center cross.”  Apparently, the perpetually agitated became downright cross over the notion of displaying a cross at the World Trade Center memorial of the 9/11 terror attack.

The CNN article explains:

The World Trade Center cross, two intersecting steel beams that held up when the twin towers collapsed on September 11, 2001, is seen as iconic to some.

No, iconic to all, apparently, even our not-so-tolerant protectors of tolerance, the Godhaters.

What’s a good group of cross agitators to do when agitated by a cross in America?

Right! Sue, baby, sue!

America the sue-tiful!

Yes, my servants, the American Atheists filed a lawsuit this week in state court in New York claiming the “government enshrinement of the cross was an impermissible mingling of church and state.”

Of course, the American Atheists only consider “church” to include a belief in God.  This is because they are fools.  There are plenty of recognized religions/churches that hold to atheism as their theology.  Everyone knows this.  Even atheists claim religion status when it is convenient.  Here is one example.

Hey, I wonder if American Christians can sue to have crosses placed everywhere, because to not display a cross an impermissible mingling of atheistic church and state.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You see, my servants, the state will always promote a religion.  It may be a theistic religion.  It may be an atheistic religion.  But church and state are necessarily “mingled” at every level.

Why do I care?  Well, it’s because atheists are also asatanists; they do not believe in moi.  And to tell the truth, that hurts a bit.  To try so hard to impact their lives with lies.  To see them believe my lies and reap the consequences.  To see them curse God instead of me.  Or to see them simply ignore God and me.  It just makes me a little irritated to get no credit for impacting their lives in such visible, tangible ways.

This must be how God feels. 

I suppose it’s not all bad.  At least I get to spend eternity with them.  God doesn’t.

So let’s take a look at these brainiac American Atheists.  To show you how darkened minds think, minds filled with hate and intolerance at those whom they believe hateful and intolerant, let’s take a peek at the American Atheists’ “Religion” page, and see what we can find out about these religionists.

Consider this gem of intellectual brilliance:

Religion spreads like disease through societies, rarely coexisting with pre-existing mythologies, rather preferring to conquer or be conquered. Religion is anything but tolerant.

And you, my servant American Atheists, do you co-exist with mythologies?  Don’t you prefer to conquer?  Are you tolerant?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Try this:

Religion is malicious, malevolent, and unworthy of respect.

Uh … it may be just moi, but you are coming across as overtly malicious, blatantly malevolent, and, quite frankly, entirely unworthy of respect.

Sorry.

And then, to show they know nothing about physics, the American Fools say this:

Atheism, the absence of religion, is the only “ism” that obeys the laws of physics. 

Really?  Tell me, Atheist Einstein, why is there something instead of nothing, and how does your answer obey the laws of physics?

Ha ha ha ha ha. (Most atheists don’t even understand this question, and won’t even try.  But when understood, the question highlights the atheists necessary faith in a godless miracle.  Shhhh …)

Hey, Lamesteins, where do “laws” that must be obeyed come from in the first place?

(Never mind the fact that “isms” don’t obey anything, atheist idiots.  Matter and energy obey the laws of physics.  “isms” merely express faith in an explanation of an unseen and unprovable physical event of the creation of matter and energy.  In both cases, theistic and atheistic, this explanation embodies the believer’s necessary faith).

In fact, my friends, atheism is a religion (at least legally in the United States), or it is the theology of godless religions like Religious Humanism (which all atheists are, whether they know it or not).

But back to the issue of the cross.  My servants, even though atheists rub me the wrong way because they are also asatanists, I must support them in their efforts at eliminating all crosses from public view.

It’s time that everyone put down their crosses and stop following Christ.  It’s time that the symbol of all that is good in the universe, the symbol of victory over death, the symbol of my ultimate defeat, the symbol of a functionally peaceful society, the symbol of a common cultural understanding, the symbol of help in time of need, the symbol of mercy and grace, the symbol of hope in a dying world, the symbol of . . .

Oh, gag me.

Just support the atheist fools on this one, my servants.  Please?

Now I’m cross as well.

9 Responses to “How to make an atheist cross”

  1. Atheists, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Taos, Agnostics, Wiccans, Pagans, Protestants…all worship the same being, just in different ways. They just don’t know it.

    • bill long Says:

      No they don’t.

      Moreover, these different classes of worshippers have different ideas about what they’re worshipping, and different (often contradictory) ideas what pleases their god of choice. If one god says “kill infidels” and another god says “be a harmless peacemaker”, somebody is wrong. Dead wrong.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    you’re an idiot.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Get f**ked, a**hole. You’re blog is about as worthless as the nonexistent god you worship.

    • Sorry, loser, but I had to edit your reply before posting. You have a little more passion than “idiotman” in a previous comment, but here’s a lesson in effectiveness for you: everyone suspects atheists are fools; you shouldn’t go about removing all doubt.

  4. jackory6969 Says:

    I love it when atheists resort to name calling and vitriol. They show their true colors. It’s not my business to know who or what anyone believes in or whether they believe in anything at all. Therefore it’s not my right to condemn with juvenile insults and such. If this kind of troll-babble is the chief ammunition the militant atheist has to topple the church I feel confident that both theists and atheists will just have to tolerate each other until the end of time…the church has been assaulted by some powerfully destructive forces (just ask the proprietor of this blog) and yet it thrives today. It ain’t goin’ anywhere. I was under the impression that American Atheists was a legitimate organization, but after reading the link Ol’ Slewfoot provided my eyes are opened. Is this like an “atheists creed” or something? They really should be more concerned about their own issues and stop worrying about things they don’t even believe in.

  5. jackory6969 Says:

    Just to let you know, the American Atheists “religion page” has been taken down. But not before I copied it for a post I’m working on. Why they removed it is beyond me, unless someone there finally recognized how stupid it was. And why NOW? Interesting.

  6. […] “Not-So-Evil-One” over at Satan’s Blog has written an excellent article on the American Atheists attempts to have a cross removed from the 9/11 memorial. It’s worth […]

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