Rough weekend, folks

Weekends.

Weekends are always rough around here, my friends.  And it’s not over yet.  Imagine: from the first dawn of Monday at the International Date Line, the rest of the world is still on Sunday for 24 more hours!  That’s 48 hours of Sunday every week for me, my friends.

Blechhhh!

Sundays are big prayer days.  Yes, many, many (too many, for sure) Godpunks pray every day, but on Sundays — wow, the cacophony of prayertalknoise practically drives us mad.

But I’m used to that.

What I’m not used to is a big, well-publicized prayer rally on Saturday!

And that’s what happened yesterday, my servants.  My head still hurts.  I need a rest.  But let me vent a bit.

Where in the world did this Rick Perry dude come from?  Who does he think he is?

For my non-American servants, Rick Perry is the governor of Texas who is rumored to be on the verge of announcing his candidacy for President as well.  I hope that doesn’t happen.  I really, really, really, really like the present President of the Divided States of America.

And yesterday, Mr. Perry did something unheard of in modern political discourse: he participated in a prayer rally which he helped organize.  And he even prayed in public a real prayer causing ear-splitting shock waves to echo about the depths of Hell for hours.  Do you know what he prayed?  I can’t repeat it all, but here is the worst part:

And as a nation, we have forgotten who made us, who protects us, who blesses us.

Ouch!

If this Perry dude wins, we’ll all be subject to Godtalk of the like we haven’t seen since the days of Washington, Adams (J.), Madison, Monroe, Adams (J.Q.), or Lincoln.  Not to mention some more modern Godtalkers like Wilson, Roosevelt (Teddy), Coolidge, Eisenhower, Truman, or Reagan.

You see, in the bad old days US presidents routinely invoked God, prayed publicly, and generally honored God as the creator and protector of us all.

George Washington even went as far as proclaiming the following at his farewell address in 1796:

Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports…. And let us with caution indulge the supposition, that morality can be maintained without religion. Whatever may be conceded to the influence of refined education on minds of peculiar structure; reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle. ‘Tis substantially true, that virtue or morality is a necessary spring of popular government.

Fortunately, Americans quickly forgot this admonition, and conveniently “conceded” much to the “influence of refined education on minds.” 

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

I’m a “refined” kind of guy, after all.

John Adams, who followed Washington as the second US president had this to say:

We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion…. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.

“Unbridled” is a good word to describe America today, wouldn’t you agree? 

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I’m a great “unbridler.”

But back to this Perry dude.  Can you all help me in ensuring that he does not run for President?  If the American president really believed in God, like Perry does, I’m in trouble.  As it is, I have my man in the White House — a man who says he believes in God and acts like he does not.  (Did I mention I really like the present occupant of the White House?) With Perry I’ll have to contend with a man who says he believes in God and acts like he does.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had to oppose such a man as US President.

I’ve been able to practically coast the last couple of years.  It’s like I put the United States on autopilot headed straight for destruction.

Please don’t make me have to get back to the wheel.

Please?