My Will Be Done in the Bronx

Bronx.

What do you think of when you think of “the Bronx”, my servants?  For those in America I hope you thought first of the word “crime.”  Because I have for years made Bronx, New York, affectionately called “the” Bronx, a center of my will on earth, complete with crime, death and destruction. And I want to keep it that way. Hopefully my good servants in the American court system will help.

I will explain, but first a lesson in my success at wreaking havoc among lives on earth.

I will illustrate my greatness by comparing the Bronx to its big brother, New York City, which is no Garden of Eden.  Did you know that, according to neighborhoodscount.com, there were 166 crimes per square mile in New York City last year?  Guess how many there were in the Bronx? Wrong. There were 1117.  The national average in the US is 41.8.

I’m good.  I’m really good.

In New York City your chances of becoming a victim of a violent crime are 1 in 248.  Not bad; I’m trying to get that up.  But in the meantime, I have my will in overdrive in the Bronx, where your chances are 1 in 104. Please, visit the Bronx, my friends.  And marvel at my greatness in bringing wanton evil to bear on innocent (and not so innocent) creations of God.

Enough with the good news, my friends; I’m disturbed.

Why am I disturbed, you ask?

I’ll tell you. I read a AP article entitled, Tiny church in NYC awaiting Supreme Court decision, and thought to myself, what is a church, tiny or not, doing in the New York City?  Then, to my horror, I read that this church is actually in the Bronx! A church in the Bronx???? How can this be? Fortunately, my good servants, I’m on the job through my good friends of the New York Civil Liberties Union who are dutifully trying to shut down these rogue Godpunks.

Why?

Because these peace-loving, life-changing, scoflaws are clearly ignorant of the great American Constitution and are meeting, of all places, on weekends in a public school! And in America any group can meet in public school facilities except Christians.  When a Christian group rents public school space it is automatically and unquestionably an establishment of religion by the United States government.

Because the Americans have lost their minds on the “separation of church and state” issue.  I have so totally screwed up Americans’ minds on this that most people in the public sphere really believe that the mighty US Constitution, secured in place by unapologetic Christians who regularly worshipped in public places, now forbids unapologetic Christians from worshipping in public places. Yes, my good friends, this little band of selfless Christians trying to bring a glimmer of hope into my Hell on Earth called the Bronx, will be shut down if I can have my way.

And I will; my legal slave-servants working through the American court system are on the job. Hopefully it’s only a matter of time, and I will have the Bronx all to myself. Again.

And the beat goes on.

3 Responses to “My Will Be Done in the Bronx”

  1. Hey Satan, just a heads up, but the Bronx is part of New York City, so its statistics are a part of New York City’s. Maybe you’re comparing the Bronx to Manhattan or maybe Queens or Brooklyn or Staten Island. Whatever it is, they are all New York City.

  2. Americans have indeed lost their minds. They have traded life for death, truth for lies. Today we read of a gay “mother” using her eight year old son to bait Michelle Bachman at a book-signing. Instead of giving this “mother” and the one-party media the angry reaction they longed for, Bachman just hugged the poor abused kid.
    Gay lobby….have you NO shame? American media…have you NO shame? Every Democrat in this country…have you NO shame?

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