Burritos, Abortions, and Woolywolves

Burritos.

My friends, I must say that sometimes my servants who mean well threaten to set back my agenda by years, if not decades.  I know, I know.  You think you are clever.  You think you are even funny.  But if you had any idea how your cleverness actually works against my kingdom, you would stop.  Please, for the sake of my kingdom, please stop.

What am I referring to?

I’ll tell you.

Sarah Silverman.

Do you know who she is?

No?

Well, I’ll tell you that also.

Sarah Silverman is a comedian.  Do you know how I know?  Because I read about her in a Reuters news article entitled, “Sarah Silverman tweets about burrito ‘abortion’“.  And from the title you can see why this got my attention, although you may not understand why I’m upset about it.  I’ll tell you that in a moment.

But first, let’s discuss Ms. Silverman.  As the Reuters story states, Ms. Silverman is known for “causally shocking humor.”  In fact, I like Ms. Silverman.  She is crude, offensive, bitter toward God, and generally somewhat of a snarky jerk.  Much like me, of course.   I suppose that if I were a female human being of limited intelligence and ability on earth, I would be like Sarah Silverman.

But her burrito stunt went too far, and I must call her out on it.  You see, Ms. Silverman is one of those women who love abortion but are secretly glad her mother did not.  To advance the cause of the un-aborted abortion lovers, she decided to post photos on Twitter, which according to the Reuters story:

Silverman posted two photos on Twitter last week. The first, making fun of sappy pregnancy photos, featured her with a round stomach soon after eating. “It’s a burrito!” she wrote.

 The second photo showed her with her typically flat stomach. Silverman also made an abortion joke that some people found too flippant: “Got a quickie aborsh in case R v W gets overturned,” she wrote, referencing Roe v. Wade.

Get it?

She was making a funny.  She thought it was funny.  Many people thought it was funny.

I did not think it was funny.

Here’s why.

Consider:  would Sarah Silverman, or any of un-aborted women of her ilk have thought it was clever if Silverman had said “Got a quickie appendectomy,” or “Got a quickie tummy tuck,” or Got a quickie enema”?

Well, maybe for women like Silverman the last one might have garnered a smile.

But the answer is “no,” no one would have thought it was funny, interesting, or in any way worth reading.

Why is that?

Why is it that having an abortion is  in any way different from having, say, an appendix removed?

Do you see my point?

Yes, that’s right!  By making a joke as she did, Ms. Silverman only succeeded in reminding everyone, even those who wish to forget, that there is something different about abortion.

Yes, there is something different about abortion, but my lie on earth for decades is that abortion is nothing more than an elective medical procedure that women can choose, just as they might choose to have a pesky, annoying corn removed.

Ms. Silverman simply brings to everyone’s awareness that abortion is different.  And ultimately, Ms. Silverman amplifies the still, small voice in almost everyone’s conscience that abortion is wrong.

Ms. Silverman, please stop.

Now.

I would be in a worse mood if I had not read at National Right to Life News Today an article about a delightful bunch of my servants who go by the label “clergy”!

I thought it was a joke, but soon found that my kingdom was not lost despite the likes of my ignorant but fervent servants like Sarah Silverman.

The title made me smile: “Pro-Abortion Clergy Team up with California PPFA affiliate to offer “40 Days of Prayer to Keep Abortion Safe and Legal.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

PPFA is Planned Parenthood, my well oiled, well-funded, politically protected baby killing machine!

Hey, when I smile, guess who is grieved?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, it seems a merry little band of wolves in sheep clothing calling themselves “Humboldt County Clergy for Choice,” is teaming up with Six Rivers Planned Parenthood in California for “40 days of Prayer to Keep Abortion Safe and Legal.”

Do I need to point out that all these energetic little kingdom builders are already-born people?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

They refer to themselves as “Faith Aloud,” which I’m assuming implies that faith belongs only to those who can do anything “aloud,” like scream, cry, or beg for mercy.

But the best part is that my wonderfully willing wooly wolves developed a “prayer” for each of the 40 days.  You can read all of them here at an (Un-)Planned (Un-)Parenthood website.  (Did you ever think there would be “prayers” posted at a UU website?)

These “prayers” are real gems of my kingdom.  I think I will print them out to read out loud.  That way at least one supernatural being will hear them.

I’ll just display a few of the better ones below.  I’ve taken the liberty of printing in bold text portions of the prayers that my servants, perfectly imperfect as they are, left out.

Day 2: Today we pray for compassionate religious voices unlike Jesus, the apostles, or prophets of the Bible to speak out for the dignity and autonomy of already-born women to kill their unwanted unborn.

Day 7: Today we pray for the 45 million American women who have had safe, legal abortions which resulted, by definition in at least 90 million fingers and toes safely and legally tossed into the trash.  May they (the already born) stand tall and refuse shame, at least until they stand before their and their baby’s creator.

Day 14 Today we pray for Christians everywhere (except us, who call ourselves Christian) to embrace the loving model of Jesus in the way he refused to shame women, but still required that they “sin no more” which cannot, of course, be reconciled with killing an innocent.

Day 27:  Today we give thanks for abortion providers around the nation whose concern for already born and paying women is the driving force in their lives.

Day 29:  Today we pray that all already born women will know that they are created in the image of God, good and holy, moral and wise, no matter how they decide to purposefully and openly sin by killing another being created in the image of God.

Day 35: Today we pray for unaborted girls everywhere, that they may have every opportunity for education, sport, health, art, and vocation, and the right to kill their little girls if they so choose.

You get the idea, my friends.  I’m amazed at how successful I’ve been at making some people fervently religious against God.

Here’s what I would like you to do.  These prayers of my woolywolf servants are so pitifully misguided that God will certainly not hear them.  So why not shoot the Humboldt County Wooly Wolves for (My) Choice a quick email note to let them know that at least you read them, at info@faithaloud.org.

And, why not go here to read their “prayers” yourself, and use the comment section below to write your own corrected versions of their prayers?

Have fun!

29 Responses to “Burritos, Abortions, and Woolywolves”

  1. This disturbs me. It really does.

  2. Reblogged this on Ferlans.

  3. Day 1: Today we pray for women for whom pregnancy which resulted from their own idealised choice is not good news, that they know they have choices

    Day 3: Today we pray for our daughters and granddaughters, that they, if they make the cut, will always know the power of making their own good decisions, refusing to follow in the footsteps that gave them the power to make their own decisions in the first place.

    Day 4: Today we give thanks for the doctors who provide quality abortion care, providing the soothing SSSSSSh in Sin, and pray that they may be kept safe until God takes care of all sin, hidden or known, on judgement day.

    Day 6: Today we ask for blessings upon the women who pass through free echo-offering hostile protesters on their way into an abortion clinic. May they be shielded from physical and emotional harm from those who do not know them, as those monsters outside the clinic try to shield the unborn from those who do not know them.

    Day 8: Today we pray for elected officials, that they may always support a woman’s right to make her own medical decisions, and the decisions for her unborn child also.

    Day 9: Today we pray for women who are afraid of their lovers. May they find the confidence to turn
    away from abuse and take care of themselves, because beïng the victim of the sin of your neighbor justifies your own sins.

    Day 10: Today we pray for women who were joyfully expecting a child, but have learned that the
    pregnancy is not sustainable and therefore decided not to bring the joy to another family unable to receive children themselves, but instead go for the “I can’t have it no-one can have it” approach and kill HIM or HER.

    Day 12: Today we pray that women know the power of their own stories. May they find their voices and tell their truths, and making them indistiguishable from Satan’s lies.

    Day 15: Today we pray for parents whose teen daughters are pregnant, despite all our effort to make them aware of birth control at age 8. May they help their daughters through this difficult time with kindness and openness and never ever suspect that maybe the way we treat our kids had anything to do with it.

    Day 17: Today we pray for increased financial support for low income women to access
    contraception, abortion, and childcare, making sure the honest hardworking Christians pay for our sin.

    Day 18: Today we pray for all the staff at abortion clinics around the nation. May they be daily
    confirmed, by any means necessary; telling them that the baby is just a lump of cells; that life does not start with conception; that Gods forgiveness is a free-pass to sin; in the sacred care that they offer women.

    Day 19: Today we pray for all pregnant women. May they be surrounded by loving voices, except the one of Jesus Christ which might result in them not paying us for killing their baby.

    Day 20: Today we pray for the families of yesteryear who still mourn the loss of their mothers, sisters, and aunts due to illegal abortion, because we cannot mourn the loss of the mothers we lost over legal abortion.

    Day 21: Today we pray for women in developing stages…wait; I mean nations, that they may know the power of selfdetermination. May they have access to employment, education, birth control, and abortion.

    Day 24: Today we pray for an end to hateful language that diminishes the dignity of women, by which we mean anything and anyone that does not seem to agree with our sinful view of abortion.

    Day 25: Today we pray for women who have been rightfully made afraid of their own power to sin gravely against the Creator of all life by their religion. May they learn to reject fear and live bravely and sinfully.

    Day 26: Today we give thanks for the intelligence, talent, wit, and wisdom of all the un-aborted women and girls in our lives and try not think about all the intelligence, talent, wit and wisdom we cut out of the world.

    Day 28: Today we pray for the women who travel hundreds of miles to get an abortion. May their journey to sin be made easier, not giving them so much time to overthink their horrible decision, and mey their determination be rewarded with spiritual, any kind of spiritual, strength.

    Day 30: Today we pray for women to throw away their secrets and claim their histories with power and truth, and instead of asking free and liberating forgiveness, telling other women about how their sin is no sin at all.

    Day 31: Today we pray for all discrimination against women to cease, except the obvious distinction between the born and the unborn, for there are those women who are human and those who are not, and this should never be forgotten.

    Day 33: Today we offer a prayer of remembrance for the handfull of abortion providers who lost their lives because of their commitment to killing women and men alike.

    Day 34: Today we give thanks for abortion escorts who guide women safely through the hostile gauntlets of protesters and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

    Day 36: Today we pray for the families we’ve chosen. May they know the blessing of choice after conception, and not think about choice before it.

    Day 37: Today we pray for women to claim their equality and demand their rights as citizens. What is that little baby? You want that too? “…” Can’t hear you! That must mean you don’t care about life and are not alive at all! Isn’t that conveniënt.

    Day 39: Today we pray for a contagious love to overflow from our spirits, and remember that loving never ever involves any form of judging whatsoever.

    Day 40: Today we give thanks and celebrate that abortion is still safe, except for the unborn, and legal, except on Biblical terms.

  4. Devil, can you remember any culture in human history that prays for abortion? Before and after Christ. I do not.

    Yeah, Satan is increasing his power.

    Lord, we need even more your Spirit, to renew the face of the earth!

  5. Mr. Gordons Says:

    Hello is all right.

    Speaking of abortive efforts, Christopher Hitchens wanted to put an end to “religion”, especially Christianity. (Ironic, his name means “Christ Bearer”). That effort always fails.

    So, how is Hitch settling in down there?

  6. mazsamem Says:

    Woolywolves~now THAT’S a cleaver devil. 🙂 But this praying for abortion rights? Hmmm…as a Catholic, I recall novenas. And I think we have our OWN 40 day prayer. Not for a case like THIS, but a 40 days’ prayer. Have to find my old prayer book that I’ve had since my teen years–never mind how long ago that was. Maybe the Chaplet of Divine Mercy is appropriate for 40 days. We meditate on Christ’s suffering for all our sins while praying “For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.” Betcha don’t like ANYONE putting their mind for a length of time on the suffering Our Saviour endured, from the Agony in the Garden on through the Crucifixion. Too bad for you, evil one. But thanks for the warning. Much much appreciated!

  7. Shared this excellent article, making an effort to get more readership for your “hot” topics.

  8. Sarah Silverman abortion joke is ain’t no funny at all.

  9. Sarah Silverman is the female Bill Maher…not funny, so she/he relies on politically correct snarkiness and shock value. They have an estimated audience of 37 (combined). They’re just the wilffully blind leading the (37) willfully blind. They are just untalented and pathetic, easily ignored.
    On the other hand, these “clergy” who are Planned Parenthood cheerleaders, need to be careful. Jesus reserved special condemnation, even damnation for the “clergy” of his day who had turned the truth of God on its head.

  10. Yes, “your” pastors are doing very good work for you! I see your hands all over their organizations, including the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice — the ones so clueless about science that they don’t even know that abortion kills a human being long after the “choice” to reproduce has taken place.

    And nice work on your part to coach the Left on how to shriek about “separation of church and state” when authentic Christians point out that it is immoral to crush and dismember innocent but unwanted human beings but to be hypocritically silent when the fake Christians say the opposite “in the name of Jesus.”

    —–
    Keep up the great blog work here!

  11. How was the vacation DB?

  12. […] “Satan” thanks his “Christian” pastors who prayed for 40 days of abortion — nice satire. My comment to him: Yes, “your” pastors are doing very good work for you! I see your hands all over their organizations, including the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice — the ones so clueless about science that they don’t even know that abortion kills a human being long after the “choice” to reproduce has taken place. […]

  13. Destroy the ‘Bastard Maker’ that damned me into this world against my will. I give him to you oh Satan. Destroy him.

  14. mazsamem Says:

    Umm, free, your name is a misnomer. You are CHAINED, dude. You just haven’t jerked that chain hard enough. Try it. See if you can come tell me how far the fall into the devil’s lair. When you ask Satan to destroy, do you not know that you too get destroyed in the bargain? What comes around goes around…

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