Burritos, Abortions, and Woolywolves
My friends, I must say that sometimes my servants who mean well threaten to set back my agenda by years, if not decades. I know, I know. You think you are clever. You think you are even funny. But if you had any idea how your cleverness actually works against my kingdom, you would stop. Please, for the sake of my kingdom, please stop.
What am I referring to?
I’ll tell you.
Do you know who she is?
Well, I’ll tell you that also.
Sarah Silverman is a comedian. Do you know how I know? Because I read about her in a Reuters news article entitled, “Sarah Silverman tweets about burrito ‘abortion’“. And from the title you can see why this got my attention, although you may not understand why I’m upset about it. I’ll tell you that in a moment.
But first, let’s discuss Ms. Silverman. As the Reuters story states, Ms. Silverman is known for “causally shocking humor.” In fact, I like Ms. Silverman. She is crude, offensive, bitter toward God, and generally somewhat of a snarky jerk. Much like me, of course. I suppose that if I were a female human being of limited intelligence and ability on earth, I would be like Sarah Silverman.
But her burrito stunt went too far, and I must call her out on it. You see, Ms. Silverman is one of those women who love abortion but are secretly glad her mother did not. To advance the cause of the un-aborted abortion lovers, she decided to post photos on Twitter, which according to the Reuters story:
Silverman posted two photos on Twitter last week. The first, making fun of sappy pregnancy photos, featured her with a round stomach soon after eating. “It’s a burrito!” she wrote.
The second photo showed her with her typically flat stomach. Silverman also made an abortion joke that some people found too flippant: “Got a quickie aborsh in case R v W gets overturned,” she wrote, referencing Roe v. Wade.
She was making a funny. She thought it was funny. Many people thought it was funny.
I did not think it was funny.
Consider: would Sarah Silverman, or any of un-aborted women of her ilk have thought it was clever if Silverman had said “Got a quickie appendectomy,” or “Got a quickie tummy tuck,” or Got a quickie enema”?
Well, maybe for women like Silverman the last one might have garnered a smile.
But the answer is “no,” no one would have thought it was funny, interesting, or in any way worth reading.
Why is that?
Why is it that having an abortion is in any way different from having, say, an appendix removed?
Do you see my point?
Yes, that’s right! By making a joke as she did, Ms. Silverman only succeeded in reminding everyone, even those who wish to forget, that there is something different about abortion.
Yes, there is something different about abortion, but my lie on earth for decades is that abortion is nothing more than an elective medical procedure that women can choose, just as they might choose to have a pesky, annoying corn removed.
Ms. Silverman simply brings to everyone’s awareness that abortion is different. And ultimately, Ms. Silverman amplifies the still, small voice in almost everyone’s conscience that abortion is wrong.
Ms. Silverman, please stop.
I would be in a worse mood if I had not read at National Right to Life News Today an article about a delightful bunch of my servants who go by the label “clergy”!
I thought it was a joke, but soon found that my kingdom was not lost despite the likes of my ignorant but fervent servants like Sarah Silverman.
The title made me smile: “Pro-Abortion Clergy Team up with California PPFA affiliate to offer “40 Days of Prayer to Keep Abortion Safe and Legal.”
Ha ha ha ha ha.
PPFA is Planned Parenthood, my well oiled, well-funded, politically protected baby killing machine!
Hey, when I smile, guess who is grieved?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Yes, it seems a merry little band of wolves in sheep clothing calling themselves “Humboldt County Clergy for Choice,” is teaming up with Six Rivers Planned Parenthood in California for “40 days of Prayer to Keep Abortion Safe and Legal.”
Do I need to point out that all these energetic little kingdom builders are already-born people?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
They refer to themselves as “Faith Aloud,” which I’m assuming implies that faith belongs only to those who can do anything “aloud,” like scream, cry, or beg for mercy.
But the best part is that my wonderfully willing wooly wolves developed a “prayer” for each of the 40 days. You can read all of them here at an (Un-)Planned (Un-)Parenthood website. (Did you ever think there would be “prayers” posted at a UU website?)
These “prayers” are real gems of my kingdom. I think I will print them out to read out loud. That way at least one supernatural being will hear them.
I’ll just display a few of the better ones below. I’ve taken the liberty of printing in bold text portions of the prayers that my servants, perfectly imperfect as they are, left out.
Day 2: Today we pray for compassionate religious voices unlike Jesus, the apostles, or prophets of the Bible to speak out for the dignity and autonomy of already-born women to kill their unwanted unborn.
Day 7: Today we pray for the 45 million American women who have had safe, legal abortions which resulted, by definition in at least 90 million fingers and toes safely and legally tossed into the trash. May they (the already born) stand tall and refuse shame, at least until they stand before their and their baby’s creator.
Day 14 Today we pray for Christians everywhere (except us, who call ourselves Christian) to embrace the loving model of Jesus in the way he refused to shame women, but still required that they “sin no more” which cannot, of course, be reconciled with killing an innocent.
Day 27: Today we give thanks for abortion providers around the nation whose concern for already born and paying women is the driving force in their lives.
Day 29: Today we pray that all already born women will know that they are created in the image of God, good and holy, moral and wise, no matter how they decide to purposefully and openly sin by killing another being created in the image of God.
Day 35: Today we pray for unaborted girls everywhere, that they may have every opportunity for education, sport, health, art, and vocation, and the right to kill their little girls if they so choose.
You get the idea, my friends. I’m amazed at how successful I’ve been at making some people fervently religious against God.
Here’s what I would like you to do. These prayers of my woolywolf servants are so pitifully misguided that God will certainly not hear them. So why not shoot the Humboldt County Wooly Wolves for (My) Choice a quick email note to let them know that at least you read them, at firstname.lastname@example.org.
And, why not go here to read their “prayers” yourself, and use the comment section below to write your own corrected versions of their prayers?