Wait, Americans DID elect an atheist for president, didn’t they?


Hey, my good servants and friends, did you hear the one about the lazy poll taker?  The one about the American pollster who boldly predicted what people “would” do based on what people “did” do?  No?  Well, it’s true.  This guys got a good gig going.  At least until he gets caught.  So, please, my servants, treat this post as private between you and me, and I’ll explain.

First, let me ask you a question.  You are all above average, so will all probably know this, but let me ask anyway: what’s the difference between someone who says he doesn’t believe in God, and someone who says he does, but acts like he doesn’t?


Yes, that’s rightNothing!

I see them every second of every day.  Scared, surprised faces of those who said one thing on earth and acted another thing.

I call them functional atheists, those pious souls on earth who went about saying “Lord, Lord” (and some even prophesy in his name, cast out devils (yikes!), and do many wonderful works), but didn’t do the Lord’s work.

Do you know what God calls them?


Hey, wait a minute–the Bible calls the man who says in his heart there is no God a fool, AND Jesus calls those who hear his sayings but don’t do them fools.


Ha ha ha ha ha.

You see, my servants, the beautiful deception I’ve worked?  It’s not what a man says with his mouth, it’s what a man believes in his heart.  And what is in the heart will always be worked out in corresponding deeds.

Consider: if I said I believed in God with my mouth, but said in my heart there is no God, what would be my public position, on say, abortion rights?  Homosexual marriage?  The rule of law?  Forced confiscation of property to fund unGodly policies?  Traditional, conservative values?  Whether or not a Chick-fil-a could open in Tolerant Town?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Get it?  My world is full of functional atheists–those who differ from atheists only in what they say with their mouth.

Now, let me show you how this works out practically.

A USA Today poll just out shows “that 54% of those asked said they would vote a ‘well-qualified’ atheist in the Oval Office” (the US’s office of the presidency).

And guess what percentage of the vote Barack Obama got for president in 2008?  Take a look at what CNN reported:

Ha ha ha ha ha.  (Close enough!)

It’s no wonder, my friends that other polls show that most Americans can’t name Obama’s religion.  What religion?


No, just confirming what is true but no one knew it.

Unknown truth.

I like that.


28 Responses to “Wait, Americans DID elect an atheist for president, didn’t they?”

  1. tatiana Says:

    functional atehists = “progressive” christians

    • You hit the nail right on the head!

    • Despite “anonymous’s” bold cowardly blurt (if indeed you are the “tatiana” he/she/it refers to), I tend to agree! In the United States, the term “progressive” has been defined such that you can be “progressive” or “Christian” but not both. In truth, Jesus Christ is the most progressive progressive there is. But when men get ahold of a notion like progress, they invariably pervert it.

      • eloquently put, false-father. one should always put a name in front of any insult or slander.
        you must be a devil after my own blackened heart (i’m afraid you’ll have to work harder for my blackened soul however , as you aren’t the only interested party. woo me!) this is the first time i’ve seen you share a sentiment with yours truly, about mankind perverting ideals that could be benificial. i love that snippet of nihlism. i love it dearly.
        also, i’m feeling very purile and adolescent today. would you kindly call me SNOT? i like snot, and i often feel snotty.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    He’s certainly more of a Christian than you, Tatiana Matthews!

  3. trepidation? disgust? FEAR! all you can eat buffet! chalk another one up for the snotMAN! to the victor goes the snot.

    • Uh . . . still no.

      • SNOT (e) Says:

        you won’t call me by my chosen name? kinda babyish, and immature, D.B. and i should know, as i’am lord of all that is babyish and immatue. how about slitherer from the slime? its got a nice beat, and you dance to it.
        not sure if you’ve noticed master, but i’ve driven out the seedier types trolling here. types like that lame-o simon, who asked you for sexual favors. in YOUR kingdom, no less! i’am at your beck and call. all you must do is indulge me when i’m feeling playful. my loyalty knows no bounds. just don’t deny my request 3 times. that third time…something significant about that 3rd time, no?

        so, SNOT, or slitherer from the slime? your decision, master. i wait with bated breath (and snot, of course)

  4. I love your blog.Its very right on target and very current.I agree and as a christian and catholic I would love to see phony catholics like Biden,Pelosi and Cuomo excommunicated from church or at the very least denied communion the body and blood of Jesus.And if they stay unrepentent taking this blessed sacrament while promoting killing millions of babies and gay sex perversion then they will soon be joing u in hell.

  5. a boy named ruin Says:

    censorship? hah! couldn’t help but notice you removed my comment. and i slaved for nearly an hour with my hell starter kit and operation no salvation! trying to protect ole harry’s feelings? why? don’t you see the hatred in his desire to see people whom he disagrees with be punished? i thought christians were supposed to be tolerant and forgiving. thats why i love when they spew bile and hatred. that hypocritical behavior is the primary motivation for operation no salvation, by the way.

    tell you what D.B., if you admit to removing my comment, and tell alll the “good” “christians” here why, i’ll leave. permanently, no ifs, ands, or buts. i suppose you could block me from your blog, but… do that and i’ll go to a different public library in the tri state area every day, and use public computers to keep up with my peers here at satans blog. deal?

    in what is likley my final communication with this blog, i would like to ask you how it is you thought you could start a blog claiming to be operated by satan, and not expect true evil to show up? how is removing a comment that contains no vulgar language anything other than an act of cowardice, and blatant censorship? i’ve watched your words carefully since i first came here, and have noticed a pronounced change in the attitude displayed in your postings. you’re losing hope, aren’t you? becoming bitter and resentful. the crowning irony would be for you to identify as your favorite punching bag, the atheist.


    • If you left there would be a huge void in the comment section. I must admit you almost had me with one of your comments, I thought I was a goner. But all it did was cause me to re-examine myself and I feel much better. It doesn’t mean I’m doing better, I still struggle and have doubts, but I do feel better. So on that note, next time you want to leave a comment just keep the vulgarity to yourself. You are much more intelligent than that and you know it.

      • a boy named ruin Says:

        not sure who you are… that comment was intended for the moderator. unless YOU are the moderator. if i did offend you, then accept my sincere apology. or don’t. so, have we had an exchange before? my head is all fuzzy-wuzzy, and my memory often eludes moi. me. us. haha! its not easy sharing one mind with many others.

        so, just like satan asked christ in the desert, who are you?

        • I am not a moderator and the comment was for you. I don’t know what you said to Harry, but it must have been pretty bad for DB to delete it. As annoying as you can be sometimes, I like how you keep some of us on our toes. So don’t go.

  6. tidings of obsidian Says:

    it contained no vulgar language, which is a perfectly acceptable reason for a comment to be removed. ideals however, and whether or not they are vulgar, are subject to the individual interpreting them. removing a comment that doesn’t contain vulgarity or threatening words is nothing short of censorship, and a showing of narrow-mindedness. i will not be censored! by all means, rap my knuckles if i swear; i won’t take issue with that. do not silence my words simply cause my hate dresses different than others.

    still “in the dark” regarding who you are. i’am certain we’ve never shared an exchange on this blog before. your name is not known by us. unless you are apeing us, and changing it. i also notice you have no gravatar, yet your name is in orange. only a few have names in orange, and they are not your average commenters. once again, who are you?

    • My name is in orange? I wonder what that means? Oh well.
      You asking me who I am makes me think of that one song by the Who. I am just me and no I haven’t changed my name. Oh and technically we have not had an exchange, but I have read your comments and there was one that caused me to have some serious doubts. So serious in fact that when I was taking one of my children to an appointment, I almost had a moment of road rage. The fool behind me was in such a dang hurry that he wanted me to run the people over who were crossing the street. I wanted so badly to get out of my car and terminate that person. I even thought to myself,”what does it matter? There is no God.” The only thing that stopped me was the thought of jail and my child seeing me act like a maniac. After some serious thought, I was pointed in a new direction and praise God I was able to see things in a new light. You are especially clever or maybe I’m just naive. I don’t know, but you really made me think and I appreciate that. Too bad you really aren’t in my basement or under my bed because I bet we would have some thought provoking conversations. Anyway, sorry you got censored dude. It’s a real fine line everyone walks, each side has to be careful of what they say.
      By the way I know your comment was meant for the moderator and my comment was meant for you. I assumed your comment towards Harry was vulgar in some other way since you said there was no profanity and that’s why I said you are smarter than that. What “el chamuco” does with his blog is his business and if he wants to censor someone that’s up to “el chamuco”.
      P.S. Moi stands for my initials, M.E. me.

      • i'am alive. i'am dead. a/o Says:

        im curious. what comment of mine caused you to feel such a way? i ‘ve never tried to sway anyone from believing in god. well, i’ve never tried to convince anyone of a creator either. intentionally at least.
        road rage, eh? my father was prone to bouts of road rage. he’d scream and curse, and pound the steering wheel or dash. it was quite comical, if i recall. but i wouldn’t want to sully his memory, as he was a kind hearted if slightly tempermental man. a much more loving and pure man than myself. the thought that he is burning in hell simply because he didn’t adhere to a religion fills me with disgust. if only you knew, Moi, how badly i want to tear this world down, and rebuild it.
        on that note, just got my copy of the Necronomicon, hot off the press. and so it begins.

        • Real or not, does it live up to your expectations?
          To answer your question about a comment that caused me to doubt; it was a link debunking the story of the great flood posted in one of your comments.

  7. The demons online learning addict Gregory Adams Says:

    I wish I was not so addicted to learning things online. I am sorry the internet was invented and I am even sorrier I had to learn and buy things from it.

  8. Michael Hegstrand Says:

    Why aren’t people ever angry when things are invented? Why wasn’t anyone angry when they invented the internet?

  9. The Satanist Says:

    You are doing a wonderful job on the internet Satan since even Muslims who want to block people and not allow them to comment are listening to you and the devils. And your hated enemy Jesus has a blog that don’t really care for where they listen to you when they impolitely and disrespectfully remove peoples comments. And the moderator cant even call himself that. He has to be a brainless moron and call himself a administrator. Why cant he just call himself a moderator? Your blog is way better than that blog about Jesus since they are listening to you and the devils.

  10. A Satan worshipper in Diablo for the PlayStation Says:

    You are a brilliant genius. You have got some brainless moron on a blog about your hated enemy who is Gods Son calling himself a administrator. Why would they do that for?

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