Archive for the agnostics Category

Atheists make for mad scientists

Posted in agnostics, atheism, atheists, Darwinism, False religion, God, religion, science, Truth, Uncategorized, worldview with tags , , on February 25, 2012 by devilbloggger

Mad Scientists.

Do you know how to make a scientist mad?  Try this some time.  Go up to a scientist and say that you believe the natural evidence of creation supports a scientific inference of a creator.  That is, explain that the abundant evidence of design in the universe and the world around you naturally leads you to believe there might be an intelligent designer.  Unless you happen to find one who practices the scientific method objectively, you will succeed in provoking the wrath of certainty from a dogmatic person who will lecture you on the difference between “science” and “religion”.

You will, in fact, create a mad scientist.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, my servants, let me tell you one of my greatest kingdom secrets.  I’ve succeeded in making “science” the new world religion by carefully cultivating the discipline of science and the persona of scientists as being “objective” arbiters of truth.  Bias free, contemplating, rational minds inside humble bodies supporting white lab coats, dutifully doling out truth to the masses.

And my real triumph?  I’ve changed the definition of “truth” so that in effect, the only truth permitted by “science” and the new scientists must be, by definition, atheistic.

You don’t believe me?  Then you have never tried to make a mad scientist.

Try it.  You will see.  And then do your own research into what “science” is today, and you will find that the new paradigm is that “science” must posit only “natural” explanations for natural phenomena.

And God is not natural.

So science today is forced by the elite establishments of academia to be unnaturally atheistic regardless of the evidence.

Period.

Did you know, my friends, that over 85% of the members of the United State’s National Academy of Sciences are atheists?  And the atheists wonder openly how the other 15% got in.

Now you know why.

Please keep this information confidential; if this kingdom knowledge ever gets out my agenda could be set back to the days when God-believing scientists like Nicholas Copernicus, Sir Francis Bacon, Johannes Kepler, Galileo Galilei, Blaise Pascal, Isaac Newton, Robert Boyle, Michael Faraday, Gregor Mendel, William Thomson Kelvin, Max Planck, and Albert Einstein made ground-breaking scientific gains while openly practicing a belief in God.

Let me illustrate my great success on earth with a news article that caught my eye today.  The Telegraph reports, in an article by John Bingham entitled, “Richard Dawkins: I can’t be sure God does not exist,” on a dialog at Oxford University during which Dawkins admitted to Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Rowan Williams,  “that he preferred to call himself an agnostic rather than an atheist.”

What??

Richard Dawkins, one of my premeire beelze-buds, is as this article states, “regarded as the most famous atheist in the world.”

And now he’s “agnostic”?

Now, my friends, you know if you read this blog that I, like God, believe atheists to be fools.

There are no atheists in Hell.

But agnostics!  That’s a different story.  There are also no agnostics in Hell, but true agnostics on earth often never get here.

But after reading the article, I realize Richard Dawkins is as atheistic as he always was, which is to say, that like all those who profess to be atheists, he is merely an arrogant coward who refuse to face the evident truth of nature.  (I just hope Dawkins never realizes that he can be sure God does exist.)

But atheists do help further my kingdom on earth, so I find them useful fools (and, usually quite stupid on top of that!).

Let me explain, using Dawkins as Fool in Chief.

In attempting to sound intelligent, Dawkins, according to The Telegraph article, stated to the Archbishop:

“What I can’t understand is why you can’t see the extraordinary beauty of the idea that life started from nothing – that is such a staggering, elegant, beautiful thing, why would you want to clutter it up with something so messy as a God?”

Now, my servants, read that quote more carefully (I know many of you skip over quotes).  Think about what Servant Fool Dawkins said, and learn.

The idea that life started from nothing . . . why clutter it up with God?

That, my friends, is not a scientific observation; it is a statement of faith.

The idea that anything can come from nothing is antithetical to all of science.  A true scientist would never make such a statement.  Whether “life” (as Dawkins says), or any element of matter in the universe (as Dawkins believes), science is quite clear that nothing comes from nothing.

If ever there was truly “nothing” there would still be nothing today.

That’s science.

On the contrary, Dawkin’s statement is a statement of faith.  He is expressing the necessary faith of every atheist (although most are, frankly, not intelligent enough to grasp it): In the beginning there was nothing, and then “poof” out of nothing, came something.

It is scientific nonsense, but it makes perfect sense to atheists like Dawkins.

Here’s another secret, my friends: everyone believes something unbelievable.

Either something (the universe) just appeared like magic out of nothing (an unscientific thought, but held by Dawkins), or something was created by God.

Which statement is more scientifically valid?

Yes, you are right: God.

Because science says everything that came to be must have been caused.

Aristotle, a true scientist, decided there must be an Uncaused Cause.  And he was right.

Every thinking human not hindered by a philosophical bias comes to the same conclusion as Aristotle; the evidence demands it.

But not all humans are like Aristotle.  In fact, in today’s agenda-driven, philosophically constrained philosophical environment, humans who wish to be prominent, published, scientists must first express allegiance to practical atheism before they practice science.

Human => atheist => scientist is the progression I’ve arranged on earth.  Humans like Dawkins are, as shown by his statement above, atheists second, and scientists third.  Very simply, their “science” (something can come from nothing) is dictated not by the evidence, but by their atheism.

Human => scientist => atheist is impossible.  Humans who are scientists first, observing the evidence of creation and making natural, rational inferences, can never be atheists.

Which goes to show my great ability on earth, don’t you think?

And if you try to point out the atheist’s philosophical bias they get mad.  They lecture you on your ignorance of “science” and sue you for violating separation of Christianity and state, and deny you tenure, and call you names, and start blogs about you, and sit in their circle of atheist jerks and make each other feel good.

It’s a beautiful thing, really.

Now send Mr. Dawkins a thank you note for me, will you?

He’s a doll.

Can’t wait to meet him.

And those like him.

Mad scientists all, when they come rolling in my gates.

Something from nothing.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Madness, pure madness.

Do My Liberals Really Care About Displeasing the Church?

Posted in agnostics, atheists, Catholic Church, political correctness with tags , , , , on August 2, 2011 by devilbloggger

Communion.

This is devilishly delicious, my servants.  Do you know what is one of the greatest signs of my will on earth?  It’s when Godless (but not godless) liberals try to jump on God’s side when it’s convenient for them to do so.  And because liberals are artless when it comes to feigning spirituality, they always embarrass themselves, which should teach them a lesson.

Remember, I am Liberal One.  I have perfected my ability to artfully lie, deceive and dissimulate on spiritual matters and take entire swaths of the population with me.  I try to get my peeps to emulate me, but sometimes they just intellectually soil themselves. 

I must admit — sometimes when this happens it does make me smile.

So let me share with you what made me smile today.  Tipped off by the Creative Minority Report, I linked via DevilNet to the DailyKos blog, a popular US blog run by a guy named Markos Moulitsas, who goes by “Kos”. 

Ol’ Kos believes himself to be Liberal One.  I let him believe that.  Someday he, like everyone, will know the truth.

Ol’ Kos’ blog post entitled, “Will Catholic bishops deny John Boehner communion?” immediately caught my attention because I had never known Ol’ Kos to care what the Catholic Church had to say on anything, except, perhaps, to denigrate it. 

It appears Ol’ Kos “got religion” all sudden like.

In fact, upon closer inspection, I’m pleased to tell you that Ol’ Kos didn’t switch religions to the God-believing, God-honoring type.  He’s still my same old dupe. 

What has Ol’ Kos all worked up is that duly elected US Representative John Boehner persuaded other duly elected public officials to vote on the US’ recent “debt deal” in a way that displeases Ol’ Kos.  Ol’ Kos, who hates to be displeased deemed that  “John Boehner, Catholic, is displeasing the US Conference of Catholic Bishops.”

Really?

But Ol’ Kos cares what Catholics believe?

Why?

Yes, that’s exactly what I asked: why?

It seems that Ol’ Kos has “got religion” over the US Conference of Catholic Bishops’ (USCCB) foray into politics in the budget debate.  The predictably un-Biblical US Conference of Liberal Catholic Bishops believes that a “just framework for future budgets blah blah blah blah liberal talking points blah blah blah more liberal talking points blah blah blah . . .”

And, of course, Kos, who subscribes to the religion of “blah blah,” latched on to that pronouncement to exhibit his righteous indignation by posing the stupid question: “Given [Boehner’s] ignoring the church on this matter, will he be denied communion?”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Sorry, my servants.  Give me just a second.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Even I have to admit that this sort of blatant, blind stupidity must be called out.  Yes, I like my bud Ol’ Kos.  Yes, I even like my buds at the USCLCB.

But this is just too beautifully asinine.

As the folks at Creative Minority Report put it:

Isn’t it funny how lefties like Moulitsas ignore actual Church doctrine but transform the liberal rantings of a few at the USCCB into infallible dogma?

Yes, yes it is.  That’s why my uncontrollable laughter a moment ago.

Hey, Ol’ Kos my bud, what if, theoretically, a member of the US Congress voted consistently pro-abortion?  What would you say about that hypothetical person’s right to communion?

No, really, what would you say?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I’m going to forward this to ten of my friends.

Gallup’s poll: What, me worry?

Posted in agnostics, atheism, God, religion, Uncategorized with tags , , on June 8, 2011 by devilbloggger

Worry?

Bad news that is good news on the wires today, my friends.  Which is much better than Good News which is bad news.  I worry about Good News spreading; it’s always bad news for my kingdom.  But today’s bad news is actually good news for my kingdom.  Why should I worry?

Confused?  Let me explain. 

Many of you have wondered about my reaction to a recent (June 3, 2011) Gallup poll that shows more than 9 in 10 Americans continue to believe in God.

I know, my servant, I know.

It’s strange but true.  And I love the title of the Gallup report: “More than 9 in 10 Americans Continue to Believe in God.”

Continue?  It’s as if the Gallup people are incredulous.  They must lump belief in God with belief in phlogiston, aether, and other invisible substances formerly used to explain nature, but which modern science has debunked.  Honestly, who could possibly still believe in God?!?

But they do, those backward, superstitious, knuckle-dragging Americans.

And, yes, it is bad news of a sort, but only of a sort.  In fact, it is good news when you think about the real implications. 

Question:  How can a country in which 90% of the people believe in God act just like a country in which 90% of the people don’t believe in God?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you get it, my servants?  Belief in God, while it stings a bit, rarely affects my kingdom one whit!

Look at it this way, my friends: I believe in God.  I would be lumped in that 90% crowd.  I not only believe in God, I know God personally.  You might even say I have a personal relationship with God.

Blechhhh!

So believing in God, even having a so-called “personal relationship” with Jesus doesn’t really mean anything. 

Consider: do you think the situation in America would be any different if the Gallup poll showed 10 out of 10 Americans believe in God?

No?

You are right.  100% belief in God would not make any difference.  After all, 100% of the people in Hell believe in God.

Here’s the way to think about this, my servants.  And, please, this goes in the Confidential File.  I trust you have a password-protected file on your computer into which you store these confidential communiques.

Here it is:  It’s not those who profess a belief in God that harms my kingdom; it’s those who take God seriously and act on that belief that harms my kingdom.   And those people are few and far between.

Do you think television would be filled with soft porn if 9 out of 10 people in America took God seriously?  Broadcasters would lose 90% of their audience overnight.

Do you think abortion would ever have been legal, much less still be legal, if 9 out of 10 people took God seriously?  Abortion clinics would disappear for lack of victims.

Do you think politicians like Weiner, Frank, Pelosi, and Obama would keep their jobs if 9 out of 10 people in America took God seriously?

Do you think America’s almost-majority slacker class of those shamelessly freeloading on others would remain if 9 out of 10 people took God seriously?

Do you think America’s science classrooms would dogmatically reject on an ideological basis alone any evidence for design in nature, opting instead for an evidenceless theory of Darwinian magic if 9 out of 10 people took God seriously?

Do you think boyboys and girlgirls would be ordained as so-called ministers in “churches”, much less boyboysex and girlgirlsex celebrated as healthy, if 9 out of 10 people took God seriously?

Do you think same-sex marriage would ever be legally sanctioned and even taught as healthy in schools if 9 out of 10 people in America took God seriously?

You get the idea.

So when I hear that 9 out of 10 people in America believe in God, I have only one response: Seriously?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And the beat goes on.

My Captive, My Captive

Posted in agnostics, atheism, atheists, Uncategorized, Wise men with tags , , , , on January 8, 2011 by devilbloggger

Can I brag for a moment?

Of course I can.  And I will.  Let me share with you an example of my great success in making captives to my kingdom of lies.  I spread lies throughout the earth and rely on smart people to swallow them and propagate them.  Recently one of my swallowers peered out of his mindcell and propagated my lies almost perfectly to anyone willing to read his regurgitation.

The article forwarded to me by friends on earth comes from the UK’s Guardian, in an essay by Jesse Bering entitled, “We are programmed to believe in a god.”

The title alone sent chills of satisfaction up my spine.  “Programmed?” I thought.  Doesn’t a program require a programmer?  Of course it does, if language means anything.  But to think that my servants can be blinded to such simple linguistic necessities and readers can believe lies in spite of clearly contradictory evidence makes me a proud daddy.

But I digress.

My servant Bering is a smart psychologist smugly answering the question Is God a human instinct?  His conclusion, which flows predictably and inexorably from a lie-constrained mind like a senseless river constrained by banks permitting no other path: “It is instinctive for us to seek a grand, moralistic mind that is not there. God is the default stance.”

I love it.  But more importantly to my kingdom goals is Bering’s lackadaisical attitude toward the question of God at all.  He uses big boy words to mask his lie-induced captivity as enlightened discourse in the quote below, but let’s consider it together:

Not only do I find the latter ontological question rather dull, but I also start with the assumption – because there is simply no good scientific reason to assume otherwise – that these things do not exist. In my view, atheism is an essential starting point for the psychological scientist, because it enables us to examine the more intriguing and, more importantly, empirical question of why the human mind is so easily seduced by a ubiquitous set of unnecessarily complex claims.

Translation:  I find the question of God’s existence dull because I see no good evidence to assume God does exist.  Because I’m so smart to to see this, I am an atheist captivated (!) by the question of why so many dumb people are fooled (!) into believing in a God, who I can’t believe in.

Swallowed. Propagated.

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

Bering believes my lies!  No good reason to assume otherwise

I’ll even wager Bering is so blind I can risk losing him to truth with this question:  Why is there something instead of nothing?

Ha ha ha ha ha.  (My guess: Bering doesn’t even get the import of my question. Lies blinding minds to truth is my specialty).

Better question:  Why is Bering’s question even a question?  Is his next brilliant essay going to address the question “Are unicorns a human instinct?”  or “Is Santa Clause a human instinct?” If not, why not?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

My prisons are chock full of dull men staring out through bars, each one imagining they are on the outside looking insightfully in at pitifully less-enlightened dullards inside.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

License to . . . preach?

Posted in agnostics, atheists, christians, Ethics, Uncategorized with tags , , on October 9, 2010 by devilbloggger

Minor setback today, my servants.  Minor setback.

But if I was going to let setbacks stop me, I would have stopped a few thousand years ago.  Setbacks are only bumps in the wide way of my kingdom.  I trust my servants will capitalize on the opening now open to me and mine.

Here’s the scoop: Some Vermont, USA, man wanted to have a license plate on his car with some preachy, offensive Christian message like “JHN 3 16” or something, and the authorities rightly put a stop to it.  You can’t have taxpayers paying for proselytizing in public!  There are children out and about.

But AP is reporting in a story entitled, “Vt. man wins religious vanity plates case appeal” that on appeal a three-judge panel reversed this decision.  Now Vermont residents can “express themselves” about religion along with other personal information. 

Not only is this a setback because all those God punks are going to start preaching the Gospel 6 or 7 letters at a time, but I’m at a distinct disadvantage.  God punks have the BIBLE, which is conveniently divided up into chapters and verses, so that all these busy-body road preachers can put big chunks of GodSpeak into code. 

And I don’t have anything equivalent. 

But not to fear — here’s where you, my faithful servants come in.  There’s no reason why some of my best wisdom couldn’t be put into “chapter and verse” format.  Do it!  Take the Humanist Manifesto, for example.  There is hardly any greater compilation of my wisdom on earth than that found in the Humanist Manifesto I and Humanist Manifesto II and Humanist Manifesto III. (Maybe we could call them “Old Testament,” “New Testament,” and, . . . “New-er Testament”?)

Humanist Manifesto I is short, sweet, and right on in its characterization of Humanism as “Religious Humanism.”  All you “secular humanists” out there are not only “secular” you are “religious.”   Secular Humanism, Atheism, New Age, etc., etc., they are all religions I wish others to follow, and you religiously humanistic faithful can help by getting some kind of code that lends itself to license plates.

Maybe the Humanist Manifesto could be abbreviated as HuMan.  After all, it was thought up by humans (with a little help from me, of course) and relies on the wisdom of this world. 

For example, “HuMan 2:1” could refer to the First Section of the  Humanist Manifesto II, which includes two of my favorite lies:

“But we can discover no divine purpose or providence for the human species,”

and 

“No deity will save us; we must save ourselves.” 

Now, these were smart people that put this gem of a Manifesto together, mind you.  And if those geniuses can not discover any divine purpose or providence for the human species, then it must be true.  Who are you, you little twit of a nobody to question people so wise in their own eyes.  You better believe them, including the part about no deity to save you.  They know; you are on your own.  

So help me out here, folks.  Why can’t I get a few license plates out there with something clever like “HuMan 2:1” or “NO PRPSE” or “NO DEITY” or “NOSLVTN”?  If you believe my lies, start wearing your religion on your car!  People will eventually figure it out.  Get the plates, dude!

And then there’s “HuMan 2:2” which is the Second Section of the Humanist Manifesto II, which reads:

“Promises of immortal salvation or fear of eternal damnation are both illusory and harmful.” 

That’s one of my best lies!  I suppose that this promise that a promise is harmful can’t itself be harmful, right?  Ha ha ha ha ha.  And people believe this!

So I can imagine a license plate: “HUMAN 2 2” or “NO HELL” or “NOFROFDTH” or some other cool call out to me and my kingdom.

And we can’t leave out the Sixth Section of the Humanist Manifesto II, which includes my most pervasive lie of all:

“Short of harming others or compelling them to do likewise, individuals should be permitted to express their sexual proclivities and pursue their life-styles as they desire.” 

Woo hoo!  Not only have I woven this lie into the fabric of all of society, I made it so everyone is compelled to go along, even if it hurts!  If your sexual proclivity is abstinence, and you believe in a marraige-only, one-partner life-style, good luck baby; just see if you can “express” those proclivities. Ha ha ha ha ha.

So let’s see a license plate from a true believer in Secular Humanism that has sexual proclivities toward animals, like “COW SEX” or maybe someone whose life-style includes proclivities toward cartoon child porn (who’s it hurting?) with “LTL TV BOYS” or “FAKE PORN”.  See how fun this could be?

Now are you secular humanists, agnostics, and other servants of mine going to let Vermont be run over by a bunch of God punks?

I didn’t think so.  Go, my servants, and do my will on earth as it is in Hell.

Atheists are oh so smart

Posted in agnostics, atheists with tags , , , , on September 29, 2010 by devilbloggger

I like atheists.  I don’t understand how they could be atheists, but I like them.  They are my faithful servants.

A lot of people assume that I am an atheist.  But think about it.  Why would I be an atheist?

And now I have more to love about atheists; it seems they are the smartest about religion.  And I love for people to be smart about religion.  I just hate for them to be smart about God.

Huffington Post is reporting in an article entitled “Religious Literacy: Americans Don’t Know Much About Religion” how the atheists were able to answer more questions about religion correctly.  Here’s the opening paragraph:

A new survey of Americans’ knowledge of religion found that atheists, agnostics, Jews and Mormons outperformed Protestants and Roman Catholics in answering questions about major religions, while many respondents could not correctly give the most basic tenets of their own faiths.

Good for those atheists and agnostics.  Religion gets in the way of truth for all but one belief system.  (Think about it–if two religions make contradictory truth claims, as they do, they can’t both be right.  The more people “know” about religion, the less likely they are to know truth.)  So if atheists and agnostics know a lot about “religion” they are not likely to know much about truth. 

But here’s what I wonder: do atheists know the basic tenets of their faith?  They believe by faith that everything in the universe came from nothing.  First there was nothing, and then, poof! there was something.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I don’t believe what atheists believe.  I’m actually surprised anyone does, because it is a logical necessity that if ever there was nothing, there would still be nothing.  But there isn’t nothing.  So there must have been something eternal.

I’m glad atheists don’t think deeply.

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