Archive for the christians Category

Aurora, Colorado. Testing my long term plan for America.

Posted in abortion, atheism, christians, evolution, liberals, political correctness, progressives, public schools, secular humanism, secularism, Sexual revolution, toleration, worldview with tags , on July 24, 2012 by devilbloggger

Senseless?

Surely by now, my friends, you have had time to reflect on what, but for God’s (blechhh!) grace to the graceless left (in both senses of the word) in America, would be normal: the killing of innocent big people.  Yes, those twelve (or thirteen, or fourteen) big people were in the wrong place at the wrong time; and, yes, they did not deserve to die; and, yes, their killer acted with the full intention of killing as many as he could.  And yes, my servants, I am ultimately to blame.

Some of you fret–even my Temptress dared to question my judgment on this.  But fear much, my servants, I may not be the smartest being in the universe, but I do have a plan.  At the risk of divulging kingdom secrets, I’ll tell you what it is.

You must promise to keep this confidential.  Look around.  Is anyone we can’t trust in the room?  If so, casually switch back to email or something until they leave.

Gone?

OK.  My faithful readers know that I have particular designs on America.  America was truly the land of the free and the home of the brave for generations.

America was founded on a Biblical ethos that produced the most solid, grounded, morally upright people on the planet.  Even the millions who claimed to not believe in God grew up in a cultural sea of moral right and wrong.  Traditional, cultural institutions of the land continually reinforced inner moral compasses by instilling Biblically grounded values.

Of course, we cannot have that, can we, Temptress and friends?

No.

So what was I to do?

I had to systematically remove the collective conscience of a moral people.  I had to slowly transform a generally moral society into a society that values “toleration” and hates “judgment.”  I had to remove from America what made America great: its underlying sense of a transcendent right and wrong based in a person to whom somehow and in some way everyone was ultimately responsible.

And this is just what I did.

Consider: do you think James Holmes ever prayed in a public school?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you think James Holmes ever heard the name of God in public except to be ridiculed or treated as a throw back believed only by the morally weak and naive?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you think James Holmes was ever in a Christmas play?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you think James Holmes ever heard the name of Jesus Christ in public except to be used as in vain?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you think James Holmes was ever taught anything in public school except that he was an accidental product of blind nature?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you think James Holmes ever saw a TV show or a movie where the subject of religion and/or God was treated with reverence?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you think James Holmes ever saw a court of law uphold God’s law in the area of sexual expression?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you get it, my servants?

James Holmes is the natural, predictable product of a post-modern, post-Christian, and post-Constitutional America!

The only wonder (and I do wonder) is why there are not innumerably more James Holmses!

James Holmes kills twelve big people and it’s treated as a tragedyTwelve big people in the wrong place at the wrong time; twelve big people who did not deserve to die; killed by a killer acting with the full intention of killing as many as he could.

Hmmm . . . sounds a lot like abortion when I put it that way.

But in that theater it was only big people.

But twelve is considered a big number because it’s still considered wrong to kill big people.

I’ll fix that soon, my friends.  But let me illustrate my genius.

I use killings like those in Aurora, Colorado to test my system, to check if my plan is working out.

And it is.

In all the hand wringing and soul-searching in the media, did you hear one person suggest that America needs to get back on the right moral track?

Did you hear one person suggest that we, as a society, need to get back to moral basics so that we can grow better men?

Grow better men???

Fundamentally different men, with a proper understanding of God’s moral law?

A generation of men who are taught that they are created equal and live under a God who sees all and holds all men responsible?

A land of men who know right from wrong, with toleration and judgment excercised in proper balance?

Such notions sound foreign, don’t they?

That’s my genius, my friends.  Give me credit.

Instead of considering the true reasons for the James Holmses of the land, the Americans started immediately crying about “gun control.”

My friends, let the Americans focus on gun control.  What they are blind to is that guns are merely a tool in the hands of a man raised to do my will on earth because he knows no better.

What Americans should be focusing on is growing better men.

But that’s impossible without God.

So I win, my friends.

I win.

Don’t I?

Advertisements

ObamaCare: Just a Spoonful of Snooker

Posted in christians, congress, democracy, Government, liberals, political correctness, progressives, worldview with tags , on June 29, 2012 by devilbloggger

ObamaCare.

Oh yeah.  Me and my beelzebud.  We done it.  We pulled off forcing the Americans to take their medicine–and all it took was a bit of snooker!  Even I didn’t see that one coming.  But it’s done.  Happy days are gone again, my friends.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Forward, my friends!

Picture This: My Rights Over Yours

Posted in christians, homosexuality, liberty, marriage, same sex marraige, toleration on June 10, 2012 by The Temptress

Pictures.

Mmmmmmm…. I absolutely adore pictures, my dear ones.

Well, most of them.

So many of my friends and servants to my Master are seduced by single photographs, even addicted to them, to the point where some of them act out in our favor in real life… just because of a picture or two.  It’s so easy!

I have the pleasure of using many photographers for my work.  I want to let you in on some of my personal favorites as far as photos go:  anorexic models (aka clothes hangers) to convince young girls that they need to starve themselves to be beautiful, Hollywood stars with fake everything to convince women that they need to have certain perfect measurements to measure up, and child porn, hetero porn, gay porn… I love porn!  (Can you tell?)  Just with the click of a button, so many can experience pleasure…

But there is one photographer I am not happy with today.

In a story found here, this photographer refused to provide her services to a lesbian couple, and is now, thankfully, being sued.  I quote: “According to the court’s verdict, the trouble began for Elane Photography when the company was contacted by lesbian Vanessa Willock asking if they could photograph a ‘commitment ceremony’ for a Willock and her ‘partner.’ The company, owned by Christian couple Elaine and Jonathan Huguenin, responded stating that they only shoot traditional weddings, and do not do ‘same-sex weddings,’ but thanked Willock for her interest.”

Excuse me… where does this Christian (bleeecccchhhh!) get off trying to exert her First Amendment rights to photograph whom SHE wants to?

I completely support the lesbian couple for their lawsuit to take away the rights of Christians and their businesses to do business according to their beliefs.  I like the fact that they are bullying the Christians.  Good for them!  In fact, I think they should bully other religious persuasions as well.  You go, girls!

I hate the stupid First Amendment.  After all, what matters is that whoever has the loudest mouth, the biggest guns, the most power, and the most money, is the one who gets to rule.

That way, I and my Master get to rule, too.

Hm hm hm hm hm…. 😉

Always yours,

Temptress

How would you respond to Marina?

Posted in christians, Devil, False religion, Uncategorized on May 21, 2012 by devilbloggger

Friends, take a break for a few minutes and consider an interesting thread unfolding over on the “Ask Satan” page (link in right side bar).

A good soul going by the name of “Marina” has asked some honest inquiring questions, and some other good souls have been doing an unfortunately effective job at answering her.

I wonder how others would respond.

Some history:

On May 16, Marina began with lamenting:

“. . . I have to go to a christian church because of my parents and when i go in i feel like the place is so unholy and dirty and i feel like i am in danger.  i want to know if there is a way to block this feeling because i think that it will get stronger until it is unbearable.  I also wanted to know how to deal with my parents talking about god all the time it makes me sick to the stomach.  I am so tired of christians i feel like they suck out my energy and make me feel sick.  I hope you come back soon if this website is real which i hope it is because really the christian situation is getting out of hand.  Thank you Father for always being there for me.”

I (moi) answered her:

This website is real, and it’s not silly (Note: Marina had questioned the reality of this site, and wondered if it was “silly”).  You should read ALL the posts and pass it along to all your friends.  And, yes, you are in danger going to a Christian church.  If it is a church that preaches the gospel (blechhhh!), then you are in danger of hearing the gospel and being rescued from my kingdom.  I suggest you listen very closely to what is preached and see if you can detect the gospel.  Listen with your ears and your heart.  If you hear the gospel, let me know.  I will give you additional instructions.

After Marina informed me that she is forced to attend an “evangelical” church, I responded:

Evangelical churches are some of the worst. Do they preach that Jesus died for YOU? Do they preach that Jesus paid the price for YOUR sin and that if you believe in faith that he was raised from the dead you will be saved? If so, you are in real danger of escaping my captivity. So here is what I want you to do. Tell me in your own words what you believe to be the “gospel”. And tell me if when you understand what Jesus did for you on the cross you feel a tug at your heart that wants to respond in grateful acceptance of his free gift of eternal life. If that happens, you are very close to the precipice of abundant and eternal life. Please report back to me soon.

Others chimed in, including “mazsamen”:

marina~of course Satan comes here, dear.  He’s everywhere people are.  He’s always looking for converts.  He wants your eternal soul…just like the other side (God) wants your eternal soul.  Take the good advice of DB, as we affectionately call devilblogger here.  Stay in touch.  We like to hell-p.  hahaha.

Mazsamen has held an admirable dialog with Marina, treating Marina’s honest inquiries and blunt opinions of Christianity with tender wisdom (which I hate!).

And, indeed, others DID like to hell-p (I like that!).   In particular, Shalimamma left an unfortunately excellent post today.

You can read the entire chain over at “Ask Satan” (you may need to scroll several pages to get to marina’s original post).

As most of you know, I (moi) oppose all true and wise knowledge of God on earth, and continue to roam about the earth seeking whom I might devour through false philosophies and vain deceit.  I often use the “church” turn off young people, and it seems I may be successful with Marina, who has fallen captive to some of my greatest lies.

I’m curious.  How would others respond to Marina, a true, honest seeker who has some real problems with Christianity?  Use the comment section below to respond.  To make your response more effective, consider first copying the specific statement of Marina’s to which you are responding.

Enjoy!

Donna Summer: Not the Last Dance

Posted in christians with tags on May 17, 2012 by devilbloggger

Donna.

Where is she???  According to TMZ, Donna Summer, the “queen of disco” and a 70’s pop icon, died this morning.  I’ve been hunting all day.  I can usually pick out celebrities and others who gained the whole world, but, alas, lose their soul.  But I’ve looked and looked.  There’s been a steady stream of startled souls tumbling through my gates today.

But no Donna.

According to TMZ, Donna Summer, who was 63, was a 5-time Grammy winner who shot to superstardom in the ’70s with iconic hits like “Last Dance,” “Hot Stuff” and “Bad Girls.”

But it seems she was more than that.

Apparently the rumors were true.  According to reports, Ms. Summer “fell into severe depression after the 9/11 attacks on the US, Summer recovered with the help of her faith.”

Her faith???

Well, that sounds bad, but usually the faith of celebrities follows them right to my doorstep.

After all, everyone has faith — the question is faith in whom?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But according to this same report, Ms. Summer said in 2008:

I went to church and light came back into my soul.  That heaviness was gone.

I remember that.  I didn’t believe it at the time, but sure enough, Ms. Summer became known as a “born again Christian.”

In fact, according to this report, her family said in a statement:

Early this morning we lost Donna Summer Sudano, a woman of many gifts, the greatest being her faith.

Yikes!

Well, I suppose I can stop looking.

Dang.

Lost a good one.

Clergy Can Be Fools Too

Posted in atheism, atheists, christians, Sin, theology, Truth with tags , , on May 2, 2012 by devilbloggger

Clergy.

What do you think of when you think of “clergy,” my friends?  Do you think “professional religious person” or something to that effect?  I hope so, because one of my greatest successes on earth is in convincing people that the work of God belongs primarily to those with the label of “clergy” or an equivalent like “pastor,” “priest,” “preacher,” “evangelist,” or “rabbi.”  Through this great cunning of mine I have effectively fractionogrified the work of God, limiting to a small fraction of the Godpie any focused activity against my kingdom.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But I’m not finished, my servants.

No, I can do better.

And I’ll tell you my latest movement among clergy, if you promise to keep it confidential.

Promise?

OK, here it is: I’m successful almost the world over in demoralizing, tiring, overworking, and generally discouraging “clergy” to the point that many no longer even believe in God!

Don’t believe me?

Then consider this nice little article by Candace Chellew-Hodge in today’s Religion Dispatches, entitled, “Clergy Come Out as Atheists.”

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, my faithful, as this article states, I have many “clergy” the world over who are either outright, professing atheists, or functional atheists.  I love the professing atheists most, but both kinds serve my kingdom well.  And all the while everyone thinks they are serving God’s kingdom!

I’m good.

I’m really good.

So Ms. Chellew-Hodge, who knows something about false theology from her own experiences, relates the plight of a Florida (U.S.A.) United Methodist Church pastor who recently “came out” as an atheist.  According to the article, Ms. Teresa MacBain lives a “double life” because, according to her,”I’m currently an active pastor and I’m also an atheist.”  You’ll have to read the article for the full scoop, but I just love the post-modern, mushy-gushy, jello-mindedness on display here.

I love it.

And I even love more that, according to the article, Ms. MacBain found a fool’s paradise:

MacBain recently attended the American Atheist’s convention in Maryland, where she came out as an Atheist pastor and has found a home in a new coalition helping such disbelieving clergy called “The Clergy Project: “a safe haven for active and former clergy who do not hold supernatural beliefs.”

Clergy who no longer hold supernatural beliefs?

Hey, my friends, what’s the point?  That’s like a gold miner who doesn’t believe in gold.  Or a pilot who doesn’t believe in flight.  Or a human being who doesn’t believe in God — fools all.

Fools’ fools, these clergy of mine are.

Even Ms. Chellew-Hodge recognizes a plain, undeniable truth of existence: “Specifically,” she says, “either you’re a Christian or you’re an Atheist.”

Right she is, but that doesn’t stop post-modern, mushy-gushy, jello-mindedness from providing succor to suckers.

Now, many of you may have a negative opinion of me, being that my main delight on earth is to roam about seeking whom I may devour.  Killing, stealing, and destroying is my game, after all.

But you must give me great credit for how I’m devouring “clergy” right before your eyes.

Let me impart some very sensitive kingdom knowledge to you, my good servants.

Can you keep a secret?  Look around you; do you see anyone who is untrustworthy?  Can any Godpunks see your screen?

No?

OK, listen carefully and quietly.  Ms. MacBain is a perfect object lesson to show how I work.  I didn’t convince Ms. MacBain of the ultimate lie overnight.  No, first I turned her denomination into a demonination.

Get it?  I removed a correct theology from her denomination to make it a demonination, full of un-Biblical error.  The very fact that a “she” holds the position she does is the first clue of abject error that leads to ultimate faithlessness (in God).  But she goes further, according to the article, MacBain laments of her situation:

There are plenty of traditional Christian churches who would never have me as their pastor, because I don’t believe the majority of what orthodox Christianity says I must believe. For instance, I don’t believe in hell. I don’t believe Jesus died for anybody’s sins, but because of the sins committed against him by the powers that were in charge at the time. I don’t believe Jesus bodily rose from the dead.

Where did she learn to believe lies?  Who taught her this claptrap?

Little by little I’m turning entire denominations into demoninations, slowly but surely compromising truth, selectively applying scriptural mandates, and generally pridefying entire swaths of humans so that they create their “god” in the image of man.

And a god in the image of man will always fail to the point of despair, which is what Ms. MacBain experiences daily.

Yes, I’m good.

Go ahead and say it: “You’re good!”

And do you want to know another little delight gleaned from the Religion Dispatch’s article?  According to Ms. Chellew, after Ms. MacBain came out, “[p]eople shunned her.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And, “Only two of MacBain’s friends called her and took her to lunch.”

Where were the Christians to show God’s love?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Winning!!

No, really, your soul is already “sould”!

Posted in christians, Devil, Original Sin, theology, Truth, Uncategorized with tags , on March 23, 2012 by devilbloggger

Selling. Souls.

My friends, for some reason many people believe I have some kind of magical power over humans, especially in the area of granting fortune and fame to those who sell themselves out to me.  As Wikipedia notes, it seems that a “deal with the Devil, pact with the Devil, or a Faustian bargain is a cultural motif widespread in the West.”  In general, the notion is that a person can offer his or her soul in exchange for diabolical favors.

Favors?

You really want my favor?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Apparently some do.

Thus, about a year ago I received a question on my “Ask Satan” page from someone named Simon who wanted to know how he goes about selling his soul to me.  I answered it, I thought, in a post about a year ago entitled, Sell your soul to me?  Uh, it’s already sold my friend.

I thought.

But I continue to get inquiries, including this one just last week in the comments section of the very post that answered Simon:

“i want to sell my soul how i doin that now can some one help me.”

Then, just yesterday, also in the comments section of the post answering Simon, I got the following request:

“Satan i wanna join you,make md rich and famous.”

Do these people not read??  (Of course, it appears not, based on the fact that they can barely write).

So, once again, at the risk of divulging kingdom secrets, let me elaborate on the following, which I explained to Simon:

While I appreciate your interest, Simon, in fact no sale of your soul to me is necessary because unless you have escaped my captivity by the blood of Christ I already own your soul.

You see, my faithful servants, the very idea of “selling your soul” is misplaced.  Your soul is already sold!

Your soul is already mine!

Why should I pay you with fortune, fame, or any other goodie when I already have your soul?

The only option for you at this time, my servants, is to have your soul redeemed!

Blechhhh!

The very thought.

But let me continue.

Pay attention, my servants, and you will be pleased to know that you need not appeal to me any longer to “sell your soul” to me.  You can rest in peace (let’s hope) in the knowledge that by your very nature as a human being you already belong to me.

There was a time when the earth was inhabited by innocent human beings.  I marveled at these creatures who were unlike any ever created.  They were not mere animals.  They were not angels.  They were not God.

But these walking, talking creations had one attribute that practically drove me mad: they were made in the image of God.

The image of God!  That’s what I wanted!

I tried to set myself up in the image of God and got punished with eternal damnation.  And here were human beings that were made from the git-go in that very image.

I set out to destroy them with the only power granted to me–the power to lie, cheat, and steal by deceiving temptationistification.

And temtationsitificate I did.

There were only two of them.

So I had to act fast.

And I did.

And the only thing God did not create entered the world shortly thereafter: sin.

Now, you are asking yourself, what does that have to do with selling your soul?

Glad you asked.

That wonderful day in the garden I succeeded in tempting the first humans to sin, particularly that man, Adam.  And just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, in this way death came to all men, because all have sinned.

Get it?

Sin entered into the human race through that one disobedient man.

Every person on earth born of the seed of man is born a sinner.

Am I good or what?

You are a not a sinner because you sin; you sin because you are a sinner.

That is, you are born mine!  I already own your soul by virtue of your being born of the seed of your father.

I am good.

The only human not born mine is one not born of the seed of man.

And that’s happened only once.

Blechhhh!

You see, then, you can relax.  You are mine.  And as such, my job now is merely to ensure that you do not ever understand that there is, in fact, someone who wishes to buy your soul.

Yes, there is a redeemer, one in whom you can have your soul redeemed through his blood, for the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.

Blechhh!

Blechhh!

There you have it, my friends.  If I say any more I risk losing you to true riches.

As it is, I enjoy keeping you captive to my riches.

Feel rich?

Yes, you do.

Now move along.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

What?    I’m not good?

Easter?

Oh yeah.  That.

%d bloggers like this: