Archive for the global warming Category

I get no respect

Posted in global warming with tags on November 24, 2010 by devilbloggger

Vanity.

If there’s one word to describe me, it’s Vanity.  And if there’s one publication on earth I like, it’s Vanity Fair.  So imagine my surprise when I finally got on line this morning (the service here is the pits) and saw a Vanity Fair article entitled “Exclusive: VF Daily Chats with Satan.

Is that fair?  Let’s see . . .

My servants, let me assure you that it was not me who “chatted” with VF Daily.  The so-called interview was to get “my” views on global warming, because some loser congressman believes he lost because “his belief in global warming put him on ‘Satan’s side’ in some voters’ eyes.”

But it’s just a big hoax!  Not only do the congressman’s comments belittle me (he probably doesn’t even believe in me), VF Daily’s treatment is clearly intended to be a joke.  

You see?  Do you now see why I have this blog?  Nobody really believes in me!  Nobody takes me seriously anymore!

I go about wrecking lives, ruining nations, deceiving the good and the bad, and generally being an unholy nuisance in the lives of every person on earth.  But I’m still treated as some mythical figure, the butt of jokes, and someone who can be taken lightly and disregarded most of the time. 

This must be how God feels. 

At least people pretend to believe in God.  But me?  I’m hardly even acknowledged except in the context of jokes or hoaxes like Vanity Fair’s.

Do you really want to know what Satan thinks about global warming?  OK.  I’ll tell you.

I know something about warming, you know.  Warming is part of God’s (blechhh!) creation, and any fluctuations are mainly due to his creation working as he intended it.  I was there when he made the sun, and I’ve watched for thousands of years as the sun and earth have interacted, knowing that there would come a day when the earth and everything in it would be burned up.   I also know that my days are limited, so the “end times” weigh heavy on my mind.  Everytime the earth would cycle through a warm period I would think Oh no, is this it?  But, alas, I am still here.

So if “global warming” refers to current manmade rises in global temperatures that will supposedly raise sea levels and increase arable crop land, put me down as a global warming skeptic.  But if by “global warming” you are referring to God’s eventual destruction of the earth by fire, put me down as a true believer.  It will happen, which is why I work day and night to take captive as many as I can before that day comes.

But I do have a part to play in the global warming debate: my goal is to influence as many people as I can to exchange the truth of God for a lie, and worship and serve created things rather than the creator.  And the global warming debate is the perfect vehicle to bring out the best of my servants who treat the earth as a god, and nature his garments.  When it comes to global warming, many people are effectively Wiccans and Gaians!  To the extent I can motivate people out of an inner conviction of revering and venerating “mother earth,” I am pleased.  I want people to pay homage to the earth, to order their lives as if nature were a god.

And that’s where I’m most successful.  On this point, I am winning.  If you want to be on “Satan’s side” then you must also adopt an attitude of earth worship, exemplified by a passionate desire to “save” the earth at the expense of people, their lives, and their livelihoods. 

Vanity Fair could have asked me.

I get no respect.

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