Archive for the nudity Category

Nudes, prudes and lewd dudes

Posted in Morality, nudity with tags , , on January 10, 2011 by devilbloggger

In the mood for lewd nude, dude?

If so, good news because lewdity, I mean nudity, was in the news this week.  And I love lewd nudity just as much, if not more, than the next guy (but way more than the next girl).  So imagine my delight when my peeps sent via Hell-mail two articles, the first from the New York Post entitled, “Bottoms Up,” reporting on the U.S.’s Federal Communication Commission approving naked women’s butts on network television; and the second from the Los Angeles Times entitled, “Racy calendar featuring nearly nude Spanish Catholic youth group members angers church leaders.”

Ah, yes.  Once again I get the satisfaction of seeing that sex sells, whether it be television shows or Godpunk youth calendars, sex leads to money, both of which irresistably attract the human heart in search of worldly pleasure.  From the very beginning I spoiled God’s perfect creation, causing the need for a fig leaf to cover in the name of modesty that which needed no cover before I came on the scene.

And I’ve been trying to get that fig leaf off in public ever since.

Fortunately, my schemes continue to bear fruit, so to speak, rendering confusion on the issue and resulting in a world where what used to be called pornography is now called “adult television” or “youth calendar.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I’m winning!

In the U.S. the FCC had fined a popular television show for showing actress Charlotte Ross’ naked butt during a 2003 television show.  This week a U.S. court overthrew the fine, stating that “nudity itself is not per se indecent.”

Well, duh! 

Ha ha ha ha ha.

No, nudity is not per se indecent.  Certainly when the good judge showers in the morning he is not indecent, but if he wants me to look at it, that’s indecent!  And not having seen the television show myself (we prefer hard porn to soft down here), my guess is that Ms. Ross’ butt was not shown in isolation, as in a scene where the wind blew her ankle-length dress up for a momentary view of her gluteal groove.  No, most likely Ms. Ross was romping and rolling in bed with an unmarried casual partner, doing in front of America’s children what she would be horrified to do in front of her own.

And those Catholic nudies?  Hey, even Godpunks want to have fun.  So lay off, you “church leaders.”  Besides, I see many of those church leaders watching internet porn in their private moments.  Note to church leaders: your porn fix is watched by heavenly spirits of both types, one smiling; the other not.

My servants, we should bask a moment in our successes.  Unlike you, I have the benefit of hundreds of years to compare how far I have moved my human captives on this matter.  There was a time when certain womens’ body parts were viewable only if you were married to her, and then only in private.  There came a time when those same body parts were viewable when published and mailed to home addresses in brown paper covers.  There came a time when those certain body parts were viewable at movie houses labeled “X”.  There came a time when those certain body parts were briefly flashed into homes on late night TV.  There came a time when those same body parts were shown in millions of homes on prime-time TV, in lengthy, suggestive, scenes of illicit casual sexual contact.  Next there will be a time when those same body parts will be on daytime TV, including for children. 

Why not?

No, really, why not?  You see, my servants, there is no reason why not.  Whatever reason my enemies will put forth for “why not” today will merely sound prudish in the future. 

Hey, Mr. Judge.  Is there any nudity that you would consider “per se” indecent?  What if Ms. Ross were fully naked.  Would that be indecent?  Why?

You see, my servants, the world of public pornography is one of drawing lines.  Everyone has a line that marks the difference between art and pornography, or decency and indecency.  My job is to patiently and imperceptibly move that line by sensitizing people, dulling the public conscience, shaming any cultural sense of propriety, and generally causing a steady coarsening of the public’s nudity diet.  At the current pace it should be only about 20 years before I’m showing anal sex, three-ways, and child sex on primetime TV.

Who’s going to stop me?

I’m good, am I not?

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