Archive for the Ten Commandments Category

Obama: My Political Christian

Posted in christians, Easter, political correctness, progressives, religion, Ten Commandments, Uncategorized with tags , , , on April 25, 2011 by devilbloggger

Whew!

Finally, my servants.  At 12:00 noon London time today the last minutes of Easter passed midnight in Alofi in the country of Niue.  Easter gone for another year, and not a second too soon.  Have you ever noticed how time passes slowly when you are not having fun? 

Who can have fun on a day like Easter?  On top of all the talk of my eternal defeat, Pope Benedict XVI has to go all Biblical on Easter and say “humanity isn’t a random product of evolution.”  More on this later, my servants (stay tuned).  But for now I’m going to have to call a Level 3 devilbloggger Alert; this could severely hurt my kingdom.  I have been passing off my atheistic creation story for so long I assumed everyone believed it, even the Pope.  More people have shuffled into my kingdom due to the evolution lie than almost any other.  As I said, my servants, stay tuned for instructions.

But I wish to report a bright spot in my Easter, my servants.  Did you read Keith Koffler’s White House Dossier blog today my friends?  You will love it.  In a blog post entitled “What? No Easter Greeting?” Mr. Koffler notes that (surprise, surprise) US President Obama “failed to issue either an Easter or a Good Friday greeting to the nation.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

“The nation” of course, is the United States of America, for which Easter has always been a major holiday.  Almost all Americans observe Easter in some meaningful way, and all true Americans at least honor Easter for its place in American culture.

All true Americans.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, my servants, this really perked me up.  My man, O.  He’s is the un-American American, the gift that keeps on taking.  You may think I’m making my Obama out to be more than he really is in my kingdom, but consider this, from Fox News via Mr. Koffler:

By comparison, the White House has released statements recognizing the observance of major Muslim holidays and released statements in 2010 on Ramadan, Eid-ul-Fitr, Hajj, and Eid-ul-Adha.

Not convincing enough of President Obama’s true beliefs?  Consider this from the same source:

The White House  . . . did release an eight-paragraph statement heralding Earth Day.

So what happened to one of the biggest American holidays of the year?

Oversight you say?  Mistake you say?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You are so cute when you are naïve. 

No, my servants.  Read carefully and I’ll impart to you some kingdom knowledge. 

I know Obama because I am Liberal One.

Obama thinks he is Liberal One, but he’s not.  Truth be told, he’s not even in the top 10.  But he’s useful to my kingdom precisely because of his ego and his religious beliefs.  He is a Political Christian, otherwise known as a tare, or, in some instances as a goat

A Political Christian is one who professes a Christian belief (Obama’s press secretary assured us once again this week that he is “a devoted Christian”), but who acts like an unbeliever. 

A Political Christian tailors God’s beliefs to his own liking, such as taking God’s commandment “Thou shalt not kill” to apply to all but defenseless babies, even those who survive abortion attempts. 

A Political Christian appears awkward and uncomfortable, even embarrassed talking about true faith and morals in public, and may even seek to cover up bothersome symbols, like crosses.

A Political Christian uses the words of Christian faith, but they come out stilted, hollow, shallow, to those of true Christian faith.

A Political Christian has no clearly authentic faith community, such as a Church of which he is a part.

A Political Christian forgets important details like using the word “creator” when citing the Declaration of Independence or mis-stating his own nation’s motto (In God We Trust) when speaking to muslims.

A Political Christian is a Christian in word only.

A Political Christian harms the Kingdom of God because he is not even an infidel, who is one without faith, one without any religious beliefs.

Political Christians are accepted by the naïve, tolerated by infidels, unquestioned by the political class, and thoroughly destructive to the Kingdom of God.

I love Political Christians.

Hey, this is something God and I have in common!  Why, then, is he so sad?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Advertisements

Respect? Who needs it? (R-E-S-P-E-C-T Part 2)

Posted in Devil, religion, Ten Commandments with tags , , , on January 17, 2011 by devilbloggger

What do you think about Satan?

My servants, you have to help me.  Here I am slowly choking freedom and liberty out of Western democracies, leading Godless youths from amoral or immoral adolescence into adulthoods of depression and anxiety, and generally wreaking havoc on earth, and what do I get?  You guessed it: a justice of the United States Supreme Court asking in hypothetical jest, “what do you think about Satan?”

Some people really know how to crush a sensitive ego!

My offense was short-lived, however, because once again someone came to my defense, recognizing that the question need not be a joke.  Like before, it was a Godpunk; but these days I’ll take respect where I can, because even most Godpunks don’t really believe in me, much less respect me.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

It’s a blessing and a curse, my servants.  On the one horn my arrogant pride craves significance; I want everyone to know me and bow down to me.  But on the other horn human ignorance is my bliss.  The less people know about me and believe I exist the easier it is for me to ruin their lives.  As long as people actually believe I’m a mythical creature, conjured up with horns, hooves, and a pitchfork, then I usually have a free reign to mess with their lives, and the lives of their families. 

And you want to know a secret of my kingdom?  It took me some thousands of years to figure this out, so please, keep this confidential.  Here it is: Paradoxically, ignorant people, i.e., those who either don’t believe in me or don’t take me seriously, ultimately are forced to bow down to me, bent low under lives burdened with my load of mind-wreckage, relationship-spoilage, and general life-ruination. 

Bow, they do, those ignorant of my ways.

But it still hurts my fragile, petty ego when I’m publicly dissed.  That’s why it was with mixed feelings that I read a recent article in Christianity Today, where of all places, I found an empathetic soul.  Yes, in an article entitled “Satan Appears Before the Supreme Court,” author John Murdock asks “whether the Devil has become nothing more than a joke in modern America.”

Hey, what if someone asked that about you?  How would that make you feel?  And it’s not just America, Johnny. All over the world I’m at best a caricature of my self, and at worst ignored as irrelevant. 

This must be how God feels!

It seems people poked fun at my expense during oral argument at the United State’s Supreme Court.  Can you believe that?  In a building with Moses and the Ten Commandments carved into it?  You would think I would get at least get some respect. 

Again, this must be how God feels.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Justice Scalia, whom I hate anyway, asked the question, as related by Mr. Murdock:

“Several justices asked “satanic” questions, all in a manner that suggested that no “reasonable” person would ever seriously consider “irrational” notions that a product could be linked to “satanic influences.” One might as well have substituted the tooth fairy for Satan.  Justice Scalia put it most bluntly and drew the biggest laugh.”

Laugh, huh?  Tooth fairy, huh?  So everyone thinks I’m a big joke?  Well, as I said above, not everyone.  Here’s Mr. Murdock’s right reaction:

“I have no reason to doubt the sincere religious faith of any of the justices, but while some remained silent none in any way sought to suggest that, rather than being a laughing matter, perhaps the hypothetical questions were straying into a truly dangerous domain. I laughed too, but quickly began to feel quite uncomfortable with the scene. While I worry about those who see the Devil everywhere, I worry even more about a culture that fails to see the demonic (or the sacred) anywhere.”

Hey, I’m OK with people seeing me everywhere!

“As I bowed my head to pray, I asked the Almighty (who now is publicly replaced by silence if not yet laughter) to bind a Devil who seems to be quite actively at work (as evidenced by the actions of a deranged young atheist in Tuscon) even while the real possibility of his evil existence is ignored in the hearts of men and the halls of earthly power.”

Laughter, my misguided head bower, laughter.  God is beyond being ignored in the world today.  He is, like me, believed mythical, but unlike me, God is openly mocked, cursed, belittled,  and generally laughed at in a denial of any of his earthly glory.

It’s not so bad, I suppose; if the price of laughter at my expense is a complete turning away from all things spiritual, including God, laugh away my servants.

I can live with that.

Can you?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

(“Respect” photo credit: Copyright Carlos Noboro.  See his excellent photography here.)

Ten Commandments or Bozo the Clown, what’s hangin’?

Posted in homosexuality, political correctness, secular humanism, Ten Commandments, Uncategorized with tags , on November 30, 2010 by devilbloggger

UPDATE: My servants, someone has betrayed me.  I, out of the badness of my heart, relayed to you the great success I had in getting a delightfully disgusting display of everthing I love into the United State’s Smithsonian Institute.  I should have kept you in the dark.  Because now one of you spilled my beans and caused the Smithsonian Institute to pull the exhibit.  The full article detailing my success and your failure is here, in an article entitled “Smithsonian Pulls Piece from Landmark LGBT Exhibit [Because of Satan’s Blog]”.  Hoo boy, sometimes I wonder about you, my servants.  Can’t you leave bad enough alone?

Original Post:

Ten Commandments.

How do those two words make you feel?  A little uncomfortable?  Maybe they seem a little old-fashioned, a little embarrassing in today’s secular culture?  If so, then you very likely have succumbed to the spirit of the age, and are well on your way to being a faithful servant of mine. 

If you react strongly, believing the ten commandments to be a metaphor for religious oppression and intolerance, a throwback to a dark age of superstition, then you are very likely my faithful servant in all areas, and I thank you. 

If you react strongly, believing the Ten Commandments to be the basis for a sound and just society, and the cornerstone of Western ideals of liberty and freedom, then you are very likely not my servant, and I have no use for you except to bring trials and tribulations into your life.

In America I am constantly fighting against religious radicals who wish to overturn a quiet society of moral decadence by posting conspicuously the Ten Commandments in public places.  Fortunately I almost always win.  One of the best things I ever did to the Americans was to institute the so-called “wall of separation” between (theistic) church and state.  That wall has shut down all public discussion of God, any mention of anything Biblical, and all public displays of anything remotely (theistically) religious. 

And the best part, my servants?  The void created by God’s banishment has been filled by an atheistically religious worldview of secular humanism that compels moral relativity, embraces hedonism, and punishes voices of moral reason.

The Ten Commandments are out.  I have won.  Ha ha ha ha ha.

And what’s in?  Well, look what is happening at America’s federally tax-funded National Portrait Gallery.  According to a CNSNews.com article today entitled, “Smithsonian Christmas-Season Exhibit Features Ant-Covered Jesus, Naked Brothers Kissing, Genitalia, and Ellen DeGeneres Grabbing Her Breasts,” it seems that American tax payers who will not allow a copy of the Ten Commandments on public property will gladly PAY to have their national portrait gallery display an ant-covered Jesus, naked brothers kissing, genitalia, and Ellen DeGeneres grabbing her breasts! 

And this at a Christmas season display!  Ha ha ha ha ha. I have won!  I have WON!  Ha ha ha ha ha.

This taxpayer-funded salute to all things I love chills my hardened heart.  Do you like pictures like “Bozo F–ks Death,” described as an “image of a heavyset clown engaged in anal intercourse with a grinning skeleton,” and reported by the National Gallery catalog to “hit that sweet spot, so often historically associated with drag queens, between pathos and aggression?”  Then you will love this Smithsonian exhibit.  (It’s free to get in, you know).  Want to see in-your-face images of a sadomasochistic man and his horsewhip-wielding partner?  Come on in.  Bring the kids and grandma.  This is your National Portrait Gallery, America!  Somewhere in there are portraits of distinguished American figures like George Washington.  But first you will be funneled past a portrait of a man’s genitals.  (But be glad this image was edited from the full video showing a man masturbating).

Ha ha ha ha ha.  I’ve caused Americans to completely lose their mind, and gain mine!

But wait, my servants.  We can never rest.  The news is in that once again, in Texas this time, those dangerous religious radicals are trying to push their religious agenda.  According to a recent UPI article entitled, “Ten Commandments rise again in Texas,” Republican (of course) state Rep. Dan Flynn recently filed a bill providing that school districts cannot prevent copies of the Ten Commandments from being posted “prominently” in classrooms.

Really, Texas?

Are Texans so out of it that they are really going to let this radical piece of religious bigotry hang “prominently” in a taxpayer-funded building?

Don’t worry, my servants.  I have many servants in Texas who will challenge this overt, in-your-face perversion.  And they will win.

And in the place of the Ten Commandments just might be Bozo F–ks Death.

Hanging prominently.

And all will be well again.  Ha ha ha ha ha.

%d bloggers like this: