Archive for the theology Category

Clergy Can Be Fools Too

Posted in atheism, atheists, christians, Sin, theology, Truth with tags , , on May 2, 2012 by devilbloggger

Clergy.

What do you think of when you think of “clergy,” my friends?  Do you think “professional religious person” or something to that effect?  I hope so, because one of my greatest successes on earth is in convincing people that the work of God belongs primarily to those with the label of “clergy” or an equivalent like “pastor,” “priest,” “preacher,” “evangelist,” or “rabbi.”  Through this great cunning of mine I have effectively fractionogrified the work of God, limiting to a small fraction of the Godpie any focused activity against my kingdom.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But I’m not finished, my servants.

No, I can do better.

And I’ll tell you my latest movement among clergy, if you promise to keep it confidential.

Promise?

OK, here it is: I’m successful almost the world over in demoralizing, tiring, overworking, and generally discouraging “clergy” to the point that many no longer even believe in God!

Don’t believe me?

Then consider this nice little article by Candace Chellew-Hodge in today’s Religion Dispatches, entitled, “Clergy Come Out as Atheists.”

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, my faithful, as this article states, I have many “clergy” the world over who are either outright, professing atheists, or functional atheists.  I love the professing atheists most, but both kinds serve my kingdom well.  And all the while everyone thinks they are serving God’s kingdom!

I’m good.

I’m really good.

So Ms. Chellew-Hodge, who knows something about false theology from her own experiences, relates the plight of a Florida (U.S.A.) United Methodist Church pastor who recently “came out” as an atheist.  According to the article, Ms. Teresa MacBain lives a “double life” because, according to her,”I’m currently an active pastor and I’m also an atheist.”  You’ll have to read the article for the full scoop, but I just love the post-modern, mushy-gushy, jello-mindedness on display here.

I love it.

And I even love more that, according to the article, Ms. MacBain found a fool’s paradise:

MacBain recently attended the American Atheist’s convention in Maryland, where she came out as an Atheist pastor and has found a home in a new coalition helping such disbelieving clergy called “The Clergy Project: “a safe haven for active and former clergy who do not hold supernatural beliefs.”

Clergy who no longer hold supernatural beliefs?

Hey, my friends, what’s the point?  That’s like a gold miner who doesn’t believe in gold.  Or a pilot who doesn’t believe in flight.  Or a human being who doesn’t believe in God — fools all.

Fools’ fools, these clergy of mine are.

Even Ms. Chellew-Hodge recognizes a plain, undeniable truth of existence: “Specifically,” she says, “either you’re a Christian or you’re an Atheist.”

Right she is, but that doesn’t stop post-modern, mushy-gushy, jello-mindedness from providing succor to suckers.

Now, many of you may have a negative opinion of me, being that my main delight on earth is to roam about seeking whom I may devour.  Killing, stealing, and destroying is my game, after all.

But you must give me great credit for how I’m devouring “clergy” right before your eyes.

Let me impart some very sensitive kingdom knowledge to you, my good servants.

Can you keep a secret?  Look around you; do you see anyone who is untrustworthy?  Can any Godpunks see your screen?

No?

OK, listen carefully and quietly.  Ms. MacBain is a perfect object lesson to show how I work.  I didn’t convince Ms. MacBain of the ultimate lie overnight.  No, first I turned her denomination into a demonination.

Get it?  I removed a correct theology from her denomination to make it a demonination, full of un-Biblical error.  The very fact that a “she” holds the position she does is the first clue of abject error that leads to ultimate faithlessness (in God).  But she goes further, according to the article, MacBain laments of her situation:

There are plenty of traditional Christian churches who would never have me as their pastor, because I don’t believe the majority of what orthodox Christianity says I must believe. For instance, I don’t believe in hell. I don’t believe Jesus died for anybody’s sins, but because of the sins committed against him by the powers that were in charge at the time. I don’t believe Jesus bodily rose from the dead.

Where did she learn to believe lies?  Who taught her this claptrap?

Little by little I’m turning entire denominations into demoninations, slowly but surely compromising truth, selectively applying scriptural mandates, and generally pridefying entire swaths of humans so that they create their “god” in the image of man.

And a god in the image of man will always fail to the point of despair, which is what Ms. MacBain experiences daily.

Yes, I’m good.

Go ahead and say it: “You’re good!”

And do you want to know another little delight gleaned from the Religion Dispatch’s article?  According to Ms. Chellew, after Ms. MacBain came out, “[p]eople shunned her.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And, “Only two of MacBain’s friends called her and took her to lunch.”

Where were the Christians to show God’s love?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Winning!!

No, really, your soul is already “sould”!

Posted in christians, Devil, Original Sin, theology, Truth, Uncategorized with tags , on March 23, 2012 by devilbloggger

Selling. Souls.

My friends, for some reason many people believe I have some kind of magical power over humans, especially in the area of granting fortune and fame to those who sell themselves out to me.  As Wikipedia notes, it seems that a “deal with the Devil, pact with the Devil, or a Faustian bargain is a cultural motif widespread in the West.”  In general, the notion is that a person can offer his or her soul in exchange for diabolical favors.

Favors?

You really want my favor?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Apparently some do.

Thus, about a year ago I received a question on my “Ask Satan” page from someone named Simon who wanted to know how he goes about selling his soul to me.  I answered it, I thought, in a post about a year ago entitled, Sell your soul to me?  Uh, it’s already sold my friend.

I thought.

But I continue to get inquiries, including this one just last week in the comments section of the very post that answered Simon:

“i want to sell my soul how i doin that now can some one help me.”

Then, just yesterday, also in the comments section of the post answering Simon, I got the following request:

“Satan i wanna join you,make md rich and famous.”

Do these people not read??  (Of course, it appears not, based on the fact that they can barely write).

So, once again, at the risk of divulging kingdom secrets, let me elaborate on the following, which I explained to Simon:

While I appreciate your interest, Simon, in fact no sale of your soul to me is necessary because unless you have escaped my captivity by the blood of Christ I already own your soul.

You see, my faithful servants, the very idea of “selling your soul” is misplaced.  Your soul is already sold!

Your soul is already mine!

Why should I pay you with fortune, fame, or any other goodie when I already have your soul?

The only option for you at this time, my servants, is to have your soul redeemed!

Blechhhh!

The very thought.

But let me continue.

Pay attention, my servants, and you will be pleased to know that you need not appeal to me any longer to “sell your soul” to me.  You can rest in peace (let’s hope) in the knowledge that by your very nature as a human being you already belong to me.

There was a time when the earth was inhabited by innocent human beings.  I marveled at these creatures who were unlike any ever created.  They were not mere animals.  They were not angels.  They were not God.

But these walking, talking creations had one attribute that practically drove me mad: they were made in the image of God.

The image of God!  That’s what I wanted!

I tried to set myself up in the image of God and got punished with eternal damnation.  And here were human beings that were made from the git-go in that very image.

I set out to destroy them with the only power granted to me–the power to lie, cheat, and steal by deceiving temptationistification.

And temtationsitificate I did.

There were only two of them.

So I had to act fast.

And I did.

And the only thing God did not create entered the world shortly thereafter: sin.

Now, you are asking yourself, what does that have to do with selling your soul?

Glad you asked.

That wonderful day in the garden I succeeded in tempting the first humans to sin, particularly that man, Adam.  And just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, in this way death came to all men, because all have sinned.

Get it?

Sin entered into the human race through that one disobedient man.

Every person on earth born of the seed of man is born a sinner.

Am I good or what?

You are a not a sinner because you sin; you sin because you are a sinner.

That is, you are born mine!  I already own your soul by virtue of your being born of the seed of your father.

I am good.

The only human not born mine is one not born of the seed of man.

And that’s happened only once.

Blechhhh!

You see, then, you can relax.  You are mine.  And as such, my job now is merely to ensure that you do not ever understand that there is, in fact, someone who wishes to buy your soul.

Yes, there is a redeemer, one in whom you can have your soul redeemed through his blood, for the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.

Blechhh!

Blechhh!

There you have it, my friends.  If I say any more I risk losing you to true riches.

As it is, I enjoy keeping you captive to my riches.

Feel rich?

Yes, you do.

Now move along.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

What?    I’m not good?

Easter?

Oh yeah.  That.

Are Mormons Christians? (Part II)

Posted in christians, False religion, God, religion, theology, Truth with tags , , on October 19, 2011 by devilbloggger

Different. Jesus.

Question, my servants. (Think about this, and marvel at my genius (and my humility)).  Why did the apostle Paul warn his readers at the church in Corinth against those who preach a “different Jesus than the Jesus [he] preached”?

Hmmm?

I could tell you the answer, but I would rather you think for yourself and realize the answer.  I’ll wait while you ponder a minute.

You couldn’t even ponder a minute? Oh well, let me explain a bit.  But, as usual, this is kingdom knowledge and is to be treated as such.

Consider: could it be that there were others, even in Paul’s time, who were preaching a different Jesus?

A different Jesus?

Yes, my servants, as I alluded to above, one mark of my true genius is how I learned early on that I could screw up minds, cause false religions to multiply, and generally foil the work of God on earth (at least that’s what I like to think), by leading people astray from a sincere and pure devotion to God.  And the secret I found was so simply devilish, even I was surprised at its effectiveness.  I merely go about confusing people’s minds on who Jesus is.

Really, it’s that easy.

There is one right Jesus, the Jesus of the Bible; the Jesus of orthodox Christianity.

And there are many, many, many wrong Jesuses.  I’m quite prolific in my sowing of false notions, wishful thinking, twisted doctrine, and I’m the master of general lying and deceiving on this matter.

It is my top priority.

Once people have the wrong Jesus, the rest of their theology typically tends to other wrong (and often weird) notions that always take up endless amounts of time to refute.  I ensure that Christians, for example, argue over whether Mormons wear special underwear (and why), whether Mormons use the Bible as sole inspiration (and why not), whether Mormons believe in Heaven as portrayed in the Bible, whether Mormons believe in this that and the other.

But the key to determining if a religion like Mormonism represents God’s truth embodied in the Christian Church, like I said before, can be answered by merely checking how it answers one question: “Who do men say that I (Jesus) am?”

Recall that in Part I last week I told you what the Bible says about who Jesus is, and this Jesus is the Jesus of traditional, orthodox Christianity.  I tell you this truth for the sole purpose of showing how crafty I am in promulgating false Jesuses and non-Christian religions on earth.

Remember the question, “Are Mormons Christians”?

Now, do you see how to answer this question?

No?

Arghhhh.  How long must I put up with you, my servants? You show so little ability to think for yourselves.

Listen, it’s easy.  If a religion claims to be “Christian” but actually preaches a different Jesus, then that religion is not (and can not be) Christian.  Adherents to a different-Jesus-religion can call themselves Christians, but that doesn’t change the truth of the matter.

Hey, if I called myself a Christian, would that make me a Christian?  (And I even know the true Jesus!)

Recall from Part I:

Christians have the right answer: Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God, fully God and fully man in one person, and will be so forever.

More simply: Jesus is God.  Jesus is the Second Person of the one God, the Holy Trinity.

Got it?  You can argue with me all you want, but you are wrong.  The Jesus of traditional, orthodox, Christianity (there is no other kind) is God, the uncreated second person of the Trinity.  I could give you chapter and verse, but I prefer you look it up yourself.  Don’t be lazy.  (Not that there’s anything against lazy, of course; Hell is full of lazy people.  Hot, sorry lazy people, but lazy nonetheless.)

So the question is simple: Is the Jesus of Mormonism the Jesus of Christianity?

First, consider that according to the Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry (CARM), President Hinkley, the prophet and revelator of the Mormon church, has publicly declared that the Jesus of Mormonism and traditional Christianity are not the same.

Hinkley is right, of course, because, as CARM documents:

In Mormonism, Jesus is a creation, the product of relations between god and his goddess wife who used to be people from another world (McConkie, Bruce, Mormon Doctrine, p. 192, 321, 516, 589).   Jesus is the literal spirit brother of the devil and of you and I (McConkie, p. 192, 589).

Yo, bro!  Where’s my birthday card!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

A different Jesus indeed!

So, is Mormonism a Christian religion?

Of course not.  It is definitionally impossible.

But are Mormons (individually) Christians?

Possibly.

But if they are, it is in spite of Mormon teachings, not due to them.

Remember a person’s Christianity is not determined by self-applied labels, religious affinity, good works, clean living or otherwise being churchified.  These are all my lies of deception to make people comfortable in thinking they are worthy of Heaven.

But a person’s Christianity is determined solely by the heart change rendered by the grace of God upon sincere faith in the true Jesus, the Jesus Paul preached.

True Jesus, Christian.

False Jesus, not Christian.

My job and yours, my good servants, is to ensure that as many people as possible believe in no Jesus, or at least in a false Jesus.  I don’t care if they then call themselves Christian or not, the truth of the matter is that I’ve deceived them and taken them captive.

And I’m doing quite well; Hell is full of people who called themselves Christian on earth. 

Well, not quite full.

There’s always room for some more bro’s.  We love to watch the bro’s as they fill out Hell’s pre-processing form, where in answering the question “why are you here?” they have to check the box for “Wrong Jesus”.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Why am I not a Christian?

Posted in christians, evangelisim, religion, theology, Truth with tags on September 7, 2011 by devilbloggger

Christian.

Blechhh!  I hate the word Christian.  I hate people who are Christians.  I hate hearing Christians praying to God.  I even have a general distaste for those who are not Christians, but who call themselves Christians (and there’s a whole boatload of those folks!)

And do you know why I hate Christians?

I’ll tell you if you promise to not tell anyone else.

Promise?

OK.

I hate Christians because they are so much like me, but I’m not their leader. 

Surprised?

You shouldn’t be.  Pay attention:

Christians believe in God.

I believe in God (and tremble, but don’t let that get out).

Christians believe Jesus is the Christ, the only begotten Son of God, begotten of his Father before all worlds, God of God, begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father; by whom all things were made. 

I believe Jesus is the Christ, the only begotten Son of God, begotten of his Father before all worlds, God of God, begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father; by whom all things were made.  I know I was made by him, and I’ve spoken directly with him.  And he defeated me and my death.

Christians believe Jesus Christ came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the Virgin Mary and was made man.

I believe Jesus Christ came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the Virgin Mary and was made man.  I was there when he was born and realized that God had found a way to get a human being on earth without being tainted by Adam’s sin.  Genius!  And I recognized right away that I must kill him.  I started by trying to kill him via King Herod in Bethlehem. 

Christians believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord and giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son, rounding out the Holy Trinity.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord and giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son, rounding out the Holy Trinity.  I caused Ananias and Sapphira to lie to the Holy Spirit who, in that episode, was called God by the apostles. 

Christians believe the Bible is the word of God.

I believe the Bible is the word of God.  I’ve memorized it, and use it all the time in my work on earth.

Christians believe that Adam’s sin tainted the entire human race, so that every human born of the seed of man is born into sin.

I believe that Adam’s sin tainted the entire human race, so that every human born of the seed of man is born into sin.  I was responsible for Adam’s sin, and it is that sin by which I keep men enslaved.

Christians believe in the bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ.

I believe in the bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ.  It was my clutches of death that he escaped, leading the captives free. 

Christians believe that salvation comes by faith through grace, as a gift of God to those who believe.

I believe that salvation comes by grace through faith, as a gift of God to those who believe.  That’s why I try to steal the seed of God’s word from the ground of men’s hearts as soon as it is sewn.

Christians believe in the return of Christ at the second coming, and in eventual judgment of all people, including me, who will be forever banished with the unbelievers in the Lake of Fire.

I believe in the return of Christ at the second coming, and in eventual judgment of all people, including me, who will be forever banished with the unbelievers in the Lake of Fire.  That’s why I operate with a sense of urgency, roaming the earth seeking whom I may devour.

You get the idea, right?  Basically, I believe everything Christians believe.  I believe in God and I believe Jesus is the Christ, the savior of all who believe in him. 

So here’s a question:  Why am I not a Christian?

Evolution: Good for (my) Theologies

Posted in atheism, atheists, Bible, Catholic Church, common sense, creation, creationism, evolution, Original Sin, science, theology, Truth with tags , , , on August 30, 2011 by devilbloggger

Evolution.

Want to start an argument among Christians?  Just mention “evolution” in a crowd of two or more, and sit back and watch the show.  I watch it all the time, and I must say it never fails to amuse.

You know, atheists must believe in “evolution,” because they are constrained in their chosen belief system to only one interpretation of the evidence.  In a sense, atheists have it easy; they don’t have to really think about the evidence.  For atheists the answer to every question of origins must be answered in only one way. 

Atheists could wear T-shirts saying “Evolution is the answer, what’s the question?”

But Christians?  Those poor souls are in a quandary.  They are not mind-constrained to only one answer to the question “where do we come from?”  And because “science” demands one explanation and God another, Christians end up confused.

Many Christians lazily believe “science” over God.

It’s a beautiful sight.

And then I read in Forbes online today an article on this topic entitled, “Can Theology Evolve?”  In this piece author John Farrell explores:

. . .the recent Nature article on the increasing evidence that modern humans have inherited the genes of more than a few now-extinct relatives on the evolutionary tree, NPR hosted a short program on what this all means for one of the fundamental stories of Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

I linked to this story from a link at RealClearReligion: The Vatican Has a Problem with Evolution.

Well, well, well. 

Problem?

Yes, Problem, with a capital “P”.

Because, as Farrell explores in his article, the bottom line is simple and stark: if “evolution” is true, then the Bible is not true.

If “evolution” is true, then Adam and Eve were not real people, I did not tempt Eve, and Adam was not the first sinner, and there is no original sin.

In fact, if “evolution” is true the entire tapestry of Christianity tatters and shreds into little pieces of thread to be trampled on the floor of history.

A beautiful sight, I must admit.

What are we, my servants, to make of this growing controversy?

First, the easy points: Of course theology can evolve.  Duh!  Why do you think there are so many various theologies out there?  I’m behind all but one.  And all but one have evolved to the place they are now.

And as for the Vatican, the RealClearReligion’s statement is misplaced.  The real issue is “God has a problem with evolution.”

Let me explain, my servants.  What I am about to share is highly confidential kingdom knowledge.  Please casually look around and make sure no one can see your computer.

Clear?

OK.  Pay attention.  I put “evolution” in quotes because one of my greatest lies on earth is to deceive many into hopeless confusion merely by confounding what the term evolution means.  I keep people confused, darkened, and generally theologically schizophrenic because people don’t understand how the word is used, and what it really means as understood by modern biologists.

The real meaning behind “evolution” as used by any modern biologist refers not to mere “change over time” (as your high school teacher would have you believe), but Darwinian “change by mindless, unguided, purposeless processes of nature.”

Don’t doubt me on this one, my friends.  I’m the one behind the nonsense of Darwinism.  Regardless of all wishful thinking that “evolution is true but God is behind it all,” the bottom line is that such thinking is hogwash; “science” demands a purely naturalistic definition, and a purely naturalistic definition is just that: no mind behind creation.

Keep in mind that “science” doesn’t say anything, scientists do.

And if a scientist is constrained (as they virtually all are in modern academia) to a naturalistic explanation of science, then that scientist will always, without exception, come to a Godless “scientific” explanation of our human origins.

It is my way.  Start with a lie, end with a lie.

Clearly an explanation for human origins (and indeed, the entire universe) that starts and ends with mindless, unguided, purposeless processes can not in any way be squared with the Bible’s explanation of creation.

Someone is lying.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, someone is lying to you, my friends.

Either matter came from mind in a purposeful creative act, or mind came from matter in a purposeless, accidental act.

There are only two choices.

But I ensure you will never be faced with a choice, a real choice demanded by the scientific evidence, because I’ve structured all of academia to guard a constrained definition of “science” as requiring only naturalistic, materialistic explanations for all natural phenomena.  This means that unless you take it upon yourself to read the excellent literature on the topic of intelligent design, you will never know the truth.

Truth?

Whoops.  Now we are into highly confidential territory. 

You see, my servants, I’ve forced the public discussion of origins into a “science or religion” framework.  And what is lost is a common sense inquiry into what is true?

Consider: if one does like the scientists of old, and put aside forced constraints on potential theories, and let free thinking reign with the goal of knowing truth, then evolution will die like other scientific theories.

The evidence simply does not support the requirement of Darwinism that new, beneficial forms, organs, or other features of species differentiation came about by unguided, natural processes.

The evidence does not support Darwinism.  There is absolutely no evidence that an unguided, purposeless process can produce new, novel, beneficial features needed for speciation (as opposed to silly things like peppered moths (no speciation) and finch beaks (again, no speciation)).

The fact that you don’t believe me just goes to show how effective I am at perpetuating a lie.

Look it up yourself.

As I’ve engineered modern atheistic science (the only kind allowed any more in public schools), as soon as one starts inferring design by using the common sense scientific method, the explanation is immediately assigned to the “religious” category, never to see the darkness of my scientific night.

Of course, this constraint is placed on “science” only for origins science.  Other scientific fields depend entirely on making design inferrences.  The entire discipline of archeology is built on inferring design from artifacts for which there is no evidence of the original designer.

An archeologist finds a piece of pottery and wonders (without hesitation, and with no hope of an answer) “who made this?”

A biologist finds reams of information coded into the cell like computer programs but is not allowed to ask “who” made it, but only “how” did “evolution” make it.

Evolution is the answer, what’s the question?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I’m good, I’m really, really good.

In fact, when one removes the constraints of naturalism and materialism, and opens one’s mind to finding truth, regardless of its label as “science” or “religion”, one will find that science actually points to design.

Remember, this is our secret, right?

Good. Now close your mind and go evolve!

The Business of Religion?

Posted in Bible, False religion, secularism, theology with tags on August 12, 2011 by devilbloggger

Money.

Quick: what subject in the Bible is so important that there are 800 verses dealing with it?  Right!  How did you know? 

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, do you think any of those 800 verses say, “Thou shalt accumulate riches to maketh your earthly life abundantly cushyfied.  A biggeth and biggether house pleaseth me mightily and a car that costeth enough to feedeth a small African village for a year shalt maketh my blessings to raineth down on you almost forever”?

No?

Are you sure?

Then why do so many prominent religious folk and religious organizations behave as if there were such verse?  Of course, the answer is that many people who call themselves Christians have bought my lie that you actually can serve God and money, as long as it looks like you are serving God.

Got it?  Preach something like the gospel, tell people “give (to me, of course) and thou shalt receive many times over.”  Be snazzy, funny, and use some Bible verses, and you will receive “many times over.”

Yes, the business of religion can be very profitable.

Want proof?  You should see this fascinating post over at money.co.uk entitled, The Business of Religion.  According to the money.co.uk article, televangelists, for example, have an estimated combined worth around £1.5 billion, live in multi-million dollar homes and travel by private jet.  And this for preaching the gospel? 

Really?

Yes, because I ensure that, although they may look and sound like Christians, in fact I have robbed them of the truth so that they think godliness is a means to financial gain.

Is this what Jesus would taught?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And it’s not just high-flying TV preachers and mega-denominations who worry about financial gain.  In fact, in these last days I ensure that rather than seek Godliness in contentment, many are lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, etc., etc. 

In other words, I have almost created Hell on earth for many people, most of whom only love money they don’t have yet.

Here’s the secret to my lie, my servants: God says that godliness with contentment is great gain.  This is because God knows that people who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction.  So I must make and keep people discontented.

I fill people’s little lives with worry about their life, what they will eat or drink, or about their body, what they will wear.  I tried to get all of nature including the birds of the air and the lilies of the field to worry, but it seems that humans are the only beings in the universe who respond to my worry lies.

And more than respond–discontent flourishes among humans, including Christians, thanks to me.  And a discontented Christian almost always seeks money to bring the desired contentment.  “If only you had more . . .” I whisper incessantly in their itching ears.

And, as God and I know, seeking contentment by dollars requires becoming a servant of money, and no one can serve two masters. 

But don’t despair, my servants; you can come close.  Serve money and you will come very close to also serving me also!  And serving me comes with all the good stuff mentioned above, like foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction.

So a Christian who makes money his master makes religion very good business–for me.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Dutch treat; the dikes are broken.

Posted in evangelisim, False religion, gospel, heresy, multiculturalism, political correctness, religion, secularism, theology, toleration, Truth with tags , on August 9, 2011 by devilbloggger

De cirkel is rond.

Well, I needed some good news.  No, not that Good News, my servants, but my kind of good news.  And I got it today.  I’ll tell you what it is in a moment.  But first a quiz: Do you know where the American Pilgrims–those Godpunks who in 1617 landed at Plymouth Rock in the New World–came from?

Think.

No, not England.

Right!  Holland!  Yes, those grim Pilgrims indeed started in Grimsby, Lincolnshire, but eventually found refuge in Amsterdam, the Dutch being early adopters of religious freedom.

But by 1617 the struggling group decided to pack it up and ditch Holland not for old England but for New England.

And the rest is history, as they say.

Unless . . . well, yes, it appears the rest might be not history, but mystory after all!

Why do I say this?  Well, the BBC reported the most wonderful news today in an article entitled, “Dutch rethink Christianity for a doubtful world.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, Dutch Boy, it was always a doubtful world.  Don’t act like the world has changed.  It is you who has changed, and I’m the one who changed you.

For one, you believed my lies about the Bible, and stopped believing it was the word of God.  How do I know?  Well, consider some unbelievably heretical quotes from the BBC’s article. For starters, consider a dude named Mr. Hendrikse who dresses like a cleric and “presides” over a little “church” in central Holland.  But rather than preach from the Bible, Mr. Heretikse preaches the wisdom of man, saying:

Make the most of life on earth, because it will probably be the only one you get.

How, you ask, could any clergy blurt any such claptrap?  It’s easy when the “clergy” have abandoned truth for my lies.  Mr. Hendrikse?  He doesn’t even believe “that God exists at all as a supernatural thing.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, Mr. Hendrikse, why do you bother?

Really, why do you bother to wake up in the morning?  If you are right, then all is futile.  You are nothing more than an odd conglomeration of matter.  Why should any other conglomeration of matter listen to you?

But Mr. Hendrikse does wake up, my servants and he does speak, and others do listen.  And they listen to him spout stupid thoughts.  How do I know?  Because he wrote a book with a stupid title: “Believing in a Non-Existent God.”

And apparently he’s surrounded by hopelessly confused, lazy, stupid thinkers as well.  When some “more traditionalist Christians” objected to his heresy,

. . . a special church meeting decided his views were too widely shared among church thinkers for him to be singled out.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, never mind that I’ve won as soon as groups who don’t believe in God can be classified as “Christians,” just not the “more traditional” type.  Never mind that I’ve won as soon as a “meeting” can “decide” right doctrine based on the number of people believing it.  Never mind it all, my servants, just know that I’m winning on all fronts in Holland; someone let their finger out of the dike.

I’m winning, folks.

Orthodoxy by popularity.  I love it.

Hey, if enough people believe a lie, is it still a lie?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

According to some lie-believer named Wim De Jong, Mr. Heretikse’s beliefs are okey dokey because:

Here you can believe what you want to think for yourself, what you really feel and believe is true.

Yes, and if you really feel it enough and believe it enough, it magically becomes true, right?

Hey, Mr. Lie-Belcher, if God does exist, does he cease to exist because Mr. Wimsy De Jong really feels he doesn’t exist?

Oh, I love to see my servants’ illogical, darkened thinking.  It is really a badge of honor for me, and a stinging indictment of all true Christians in Holland.

The “churches” in Holland are “experimenting with the contents of the gospel” according to the BBC article because “traditional Christianity places God in too restricted a box.”  And by getting God out of his “box” the “churches” in Amsterdam believe they will attract more people.

And, I must admit, I hope they do!

I never thought I would say that about the Dutch.

And the beat goes on.

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