ObamaCare: Just a Spoonful of Snooker

Posted in christians, congress, democracy, Government, liberals, political correctness, progressives, worldview with tags , on June 29, 2012 by devilbloggger

ObamaCare.

Oh yeah.  Me and my beelzebud.  We done it.  We pulled off forcing the Americans to take their medicine–and all it took was a bit of snooker!  Even I didn’t see that one coming.  But it’s done.  Happy days are gone again, my friends.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Forward, my friends!

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Crime: Blame it on Heaven?

Posted in False religion, freedom, Government, liberals, multiculturalism, political correctness, progressives, separation of church and state, toleration, Uncategorized, worldview with tags on June 23, 2012 by devilbloggger

Crime.

It probably does not surprise you to know that I love crime.  I love lawlessness.  I love people who are lawless.  I love people who believe their actions carry no moral weight beyond their selfish ends.  I love people who believe they can flaunt the law because there is no one who can stop them, and if someone does stop them there are no negative consequences.

And I’m not talking about President Obama.  (But don’t you just love how he can explicitly flaunt the law and get away with it?  Who’s going to stop my main beelzebud???  Ha ha ha ha ha ha.  I love it!).

No, I’m talking plain old ordinary crime.

I am the author of crime, which is merely man’s name for what amounts to breaking God’s law (and, usually, his heart).

God?

What does God have to do with crime?

Well, apparently a lot according to a pleasingly misleading headline over at CBS Seattle.  The title initially baffled me: Study Finds People Who Believe in Heaven Commit More Crimes.

Vraiment?  Etes-vous sûr?

Something seemed amiss, even to moi.

So I investigated a little, and found to my great satisfaction, that my instincts were correct, and my will on Earth is lurching along just fine; it was just another example of my media slanting a story (they thought) against Christians.

No!

Yes!

You see, my servants, after the arresting title (get it?), anyone who reads the story will find a different story.  The very first line reads:

Believing if you are on a “highway to hell” could impact whether or not if you commit a crime.

What?  I thought this was about belief in Heaven (note, also, CBS’s editorial mistake of not capitalizing the name of a real place).

Well, there was a heavenly slant.  The article continues:

A study published in the scientific journal PLoS One by University of Oregon’s Azim Shariff and University of Kansas’s Mijke Rhemtulla finds that people who believe in hell are less likely to commit a crime while people who believe in heaven more likely are to get in trouble with the law.

Well, well.  Let’s think about that statement for a moment, shall we?

Go ahead, think.

I’m waiting.

Because if you think for yourself about the above statement you will be rewarded by a great insight into my almost complete success in blinding the postmodern human mind.

Oh, OK, I’ll tell you.

Note the implications of the research above: people who believe in Heaven apparently don’t believe in Hell!

How can this be?

You see?  The people who believe in Heaven commit crimes.  But if they believed in Hell, the wouldn’t.

Who are these people?

Well, let me gloat: these are my people.

You see, Christians believe in both Heaven AND Hell (or else they would not be Christians)

But there are swarms of my misguided out there who live by wishful thinking, and who are apt to believe in Heaven, but believe Hell is a myth.

Wouldn’t you?

After all, if Truth were mere merely convenient, so that it conformed to what one thought about it, all those Heaven-not-Hell’ers would be on their way to paradise–crimes and all!

But . . .

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, my.  Pardonnez-moi, mes amis.

Of course, Truth is not changed by what anyone thinks about it.  And you should see the Heaven-not-Hell’ers as they come tumbling down the chute through my wide-open gates!  Suddenly those crimes come flooding back into their  now-permanently depraved minds.

After all, Earth is the only place in the universe where there are beings who do not believe in Hell.

But no one stays on Earth forever.

So, of course, just like belief in God, everyone eventually believes in Hell.

So, my servants, let’s keep this study quiet.  After all, if governments and societies were led by smart and wise people, they would once again teach little chillens the truth about Hell.  And if that happened I would see many fewer startled faces tumbling into my kingdom.  The study authors, in fact, “believe that the study raises “important questions about the potential impact of religious beliefs on global crime.”

Yes, it does.

Shhhhh!

Our Father Who Art in Washington

Posted in False religion, Government, marriage, worldview with tags , on June 18, 2012 by devilbloggger

Fathers.

Did you know, my servants, that I hate fathers? That’s why I laid low this past week and last weekend when millions of people all over the globe celebrated Father’s Day (blechhhhh!).  You see, God is a father.  And he instituted the family to be led by fathers for the benefit of children, society, and the world.

So, what did I do?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, I do everything I can to pervert fathers and fatherhood into an unrecognizable mess of pop culture sissification, media-driven manhoodperversion, and feminist agenda boystealingschooling, and other misdeeds.  Of course, along the way I (yes, moi) became a father.

Do you know what I’m the father of?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And today, my friends, I have almost eliminated effective fatherhood.   I’ve demoralized, de-emphasized, de-energized, and generally de-everythingized men.

Culturally it’s a woman’s world in the enlightened western cultures who have turned away from the father of light to the father of ____________ (look it up).

Consider pop culture.  When is the last time you saw a movie, or a popular TV show, in which there was a strong, loving, mature male figure in the role of a father?

Hmmmm?

Those days are gone, my friend.  Today fathers, if present at all, are portrayed as bumbling boobs or halfwit hacks.

That’s why, my servants, I was pleasantly surprised to find this weekend that the United States Government actually has a website devoted to fathers.

Yes!  It even has the easy-to-remember URL, www.fatherhood.gov.

Now, I must admit that at first I was alarmed.  But then I read more at the CNSNews.com article that the website is full of inane advice, such as how best to wash kids’ hands, and other vital tasks of fatherhood.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And US taxpayers pay for this!

But here’s what I like best, my friends.  The US taxpayer-funded website goes to great lengths to teach “fathers” that they are responsible for providing “a variety of healthy foods,” and to wash hands (complete with a video for the extra slow).  In case a “father” is completely clueless, the website teaches fathers hand washing instructions: “Wet hands under running water, add soap, and rub all parts of hands and fingers for 15 seconds.”

Now, aside from the delight I receive by realizing that I’ve duped American taxpayers into paying to post hand washing instructions, I get great pleasure out of the focus of this government attempt at good fatherhood.

After all, my friends.  As you know, man does not live by bread alone.  There is a Bread of Life, which, if ingested gives eternal life.  No word of that at www.fatherhood.com, fortunately.  And, there is a washing of the water of the Word, which cleanses the soul.  No word of that at www.fatherhood.com, fortunately.

You see, my friends, there is benefit in keeping the outside of one’s body clean, and the inside well fed on physical food.  But the greater benefit comes from cleansing of the soul through daily interaction with the Word of God (blechhhh!) which feeds and cleans for an eternal benefit.

But do you think that any US government bureaucrats have a clue as to eternal values?  And do you think any of those clueless have any additional clue that fathers are the key to a healthy total child?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Even asking the question is silly, I know.

But I had to ask.

So now you know.

Picture This: My Rights Over Yours

Posted in christians, homosexuality, liberty, marriage, same sex marraige, toleration on June 10, 2012 by The Temptress

Pictures.

Mmmmmmm…. I absolutely adore pictures, my dear ones.

Well, most of them.

So many of my friends and servants to my Master are seduced by single photographs, even addicted to them, to the point where some of them act out in our favor in real life… just because of a picture or two.  It’s so easy!

I have the pleasure of using many photographers for my work.  I want to let you in on some of my personal favorites as far as photos go:  anorexic models (aka clothes hangers) to convince young girls that they need to starve themselves to be beautiful, Hollywood stars with fake everything to convince women that they need to have certain perfect measurements to measure up, and child porn, hetero porn, gay porn… I love porn!  (Can you tell?)  Just with the click of a button, so many can experience pleasure…

But there is one photographer I am not happy with today.

In a story found here, this photographer refused to provide her services to a lesbian couple, and is now, thankfully, being sued.  I quote: “According to the court’s verdict, the trouble began for Elane Photography when the company was contacted by lesbian Vanessa Willock asking if they could photograph a ‘commitment ceremony’ for a Willock and her ‘partner.’ The company, owned by Christian couple Elaine and Jonathan Huguenin, responded stating that they only shoot traditional weddings, and do not do ‘same-sex weddings,’ but thanked Willock for her interest.”

Excuse me… where does this Christian (bleeecccchhhh!) get off trying to exert her First Amendment rights to photograph whom SHE wants to?

I completely support the lesbian couple for their lawsuit to take away the rights of Christians and their businesses to do business according to their beliefs.  I like the fact that they are bullying the Christians.  Good for them!  In fact, I think they should bully other religious persuasions as well.  You go, girls!

I hate the stupid First Amendment.  After all, what matters is that whoever has the loudest mouth, the biggest guns, the most power, and the most money, is the one who gets to rule.

That way, I and my Master get to rule, too.

Hm hm hm hm hm…. 😉

Always yours,

Temptress

It’s a girl! Let’s kill it. (Because we support women’s rights.)

Posted in abortion with tags on May 31, 2012 by devilbloggger

Girls.

Oh, my servants, you try my . . .my . . .  well, my . . . impatience!  How can you be so stupid!  Please excuse my emotion, but know that those whom I love I discipline as the children of mine that they are.  And discipline is needed now, my friends.  Now.

I’m referring to the potentially kingdom destroying debate going on in the United States over so-called gendercide.

Did you know my good servants that in the United States of America, the land of the free (abortion clinics) and the home of the brave (little mouths that silently scream in protest), people have taken the very natural step of using “health care” to discriminate against women?

Apparently people in the United States have discovered that they can use legal, safe abortion-providing doctor-like people to select the gender of their new-born blob of tissue.  And, since everyone knows that boys are much more valuable than girls, the natural outcome is that girls are being “terminated” so that the good would-be parents could try again to get it right.

Yes, it’s true, and let’s just say that I’m not opposed to that in principle.  I hate women as much as anyone, and if I could kill them all before they scream out loud for all to hear, I would.

After all, if I could kill all the women I would end the human race.

And I do my best, my servants, as you know.  In many places the world over little fingers and toes that started out on little girls are scraped up, bagged, and trashed with the garbage.

And I’m more than happy to continue my efforts in the land of life (for boys), liberty (for boys) and the pursuit of happiness (for boys).

And I can get away with my will on earth as it is in Hell as long as humans are numbed into believing that the “thing” inside a pregnant woman is a “blob” of tissue to be removed like an annoying corn, a threatening tumor, or a troublesome appendix.

But consider, my friends: are there “boy” and “girl” corns?  Do tumors come in “male” and “female”?  Do appendices get removed based upon their gender?

You laugh?

You laugh?

Imagine my horror, my servants, when I read in CNN.com today when I read that the following headline:  “House debates abortion ban for sex of fetus.” 

Excuse me?

How, my servants, did we let the debate get to this?

Answer me.

Do we have debates in Congress debating a ban on appendectimies based on the sex of an appendix?

Do you see the problem, my servants?

This debate has no good ending for my kingdom.

Of everything that could be removed from a woman’s body, only another human being can be described as “male” or “female.”  So if the debate devolves into the question of banning certain abortions based on gender, it is an explicit admission that the “thing” being “terminated” is a human being.

Listen to the dialog, my servants.  Here is a quote from Arizona Republican Rep. Trent Franks, the bill’s main sponsor, on the House floor:

I refuse to believe that we cannot find enough humanity in this body to conclude together that it is wrong to knowingly kill unborn children because they are baby girls instead of baby boys.

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Stop!

Stop referring to fetuses as “unborn children”!!!

It gets worse.  Rep. Marsha Blackburn railed on:

It is “hypocrisy to say that one is pro-woman and that it’s OK to end the life of an unborn child just because of its gender. Since when did America subscribe to the idea that males are worth more than females? … It’s sick, it’s discriminatory, it’s sexist and it is blatantly anti-woman and anti-human.

Anti-human?

These words must not enter into the debate, my friends.

Fortunately I have powerful servants in the US Congress.  One of my favorites, Rep. Barbara Lee, said, the bill’s backers were “exploiting serious issues like racism and sexism (as part of) a backdoor attempt to make abortion illegal.”

You go, Barbara.  Make sure that gendercide remains a non-issue so that the debate never gets mired down in the question of human-ness.

But other of my servants are not so smart.  For example, in an article fortunately entitled, House rejects bill penalizing doctors for sex-selective abortions,  Rep. Suzanne Bonamici (D-Ore.) said,

“We can all agree that women should not choose to terminate a pregnancy based solely on gender, but this bill criminalizes a legal procedure.”

NO!  We can’t all agree, you already-born dufessette!

Don’t you see?  As soon as you admit that the “blob” has a gender, you are admitting it is human.

Please, stop!  How are you, Msss. Bonamici, going to defend the proposition that it’s OK to kill humans indiscriminately, but it’s not OK to kill discriminately?

Hmmmm, genius?

After all, apparently even Rep. Franks and Blackburn are OK with abortion as long as it is gender-neutral.  Apparently it only becomes “wrong” (Franks) or “anti-human” (Blackburn) if gender is considered.

Gender neutral killing is OK.

At least it’s OK with me.

So please, my servants, take Rep. Lee’s advice, and resist getting bogged down into the merits of gender-specific abortions.

There is no good end to such discussions.

For my kingdom, I mean.

I’m Gaga Over You

Posted in music, Muslims, toleration with tags on May 29, 2012 by The Temptress

Lady Gaga…

I LOVE this woman.

My dear ones, she is doing an even better job than Madonna did in the 80’s at mocking the Christians.  Down here, we absolutely adore mocking truth and disrespecting people of so-called faith.  Well, I should clarify: we like to mock Christians, but preach tolerance for any other ‘faith’. But I digress…

So about Lady Gaga.   She pushes the line.

Actually, she just about got rid of ‘the line’.  I HATE the line!  And it has been so glorious to watch as the world slowly has become numb to what used to be ‘the line’ when it came to what is considered vulgar and what is considered acceptable.  Now?  Anything goes!  Her music performances are seen as just that: performances.  But they are really porn.

Ha!!!  And little kids like her, too!

Like I said, anything goes…

…except in Indonesia.  I was horrified to read in the news that Lady Gaga’s ‘performance’ had been cancelled due to security concerns because of her risque dances and revealing costumes.

I bet you’re thinking that the Christians were behind this and weren’t OK with her assault on biblical principles.

Wrongo!

I quote: “Islamists and conservative Muslims have decried Lady Gaga’s upcoming concert, saying her revealing costumes and sensual dance moves are forbidden by Islamic law.” 

I must admit, at first I was quite disappointed that these Muslims were standing up for their faith in regards to Lady Gaga.  However, I didn’t notice any news article decrying the ‘intolerance’ shown by the Muslims for freedom of speech (what I like to call Lady Gaga’s performances).  Perhaps the Muslims are stronger in their willingness to live their beliefs than the Christians?  Maybe I am NOT all that disappointed…

In fact, I am consoled at this victory wherein the Christians who believe in the true God are quite lukewarm for the most part, whereas the Muslims show fire for what they believe!  Ahem… sorry, I get verrrrry excited about fire….

Never fear, my dear ones, Lady Gaga shows her ‘love’, just like I do, by saying: “I will try to put together something special for you. My love for Indonesia has only grown,” the performer said.” (Note: she really means thisssssss… this has nothing at all to do with money or fame….  Hm hm hm hm hmmmmm!)

But, she does leave a bit of uncomfortable (for me) advice in her Twitter account: “There is nothing Holy about hatred.”

My dear Lady Gaga, why must you speak truth?

Ahhhhh… because you mean to twist it.

Afterall, you were Born That Way, right?

Hm hm hm hm hm

Josh McDowell: Satan’s No. 1 Threat?

Posted in pornography, Uncategorized with tags on May 27, 2012 by devilbloggger

Threat.

My servants, yesterday I read some of the worst news I’ve seen in a long time.  All is not well in Satan’s kingdom, my friends.  As much success as I’ve achieved leading the world down the path of godlessness in a great big, devil-shaped handbasket (thank you very much), there are still pockets of potentially kingdom-defeating activities.  Some Christians just won’t give up.

And some Christians are, unfortunately, focusing their efforts at just the right targets.

And I’m concerned.  So concerned, my friends, that based on the news I will relate below, I’m issuing a Level 3 devilbloggger Alert, signifying a clear and present danger to my kingdom’s goals, and ministry activity which must be quashed.

I’m referring to a recent story in the Christian Post entitled, “Josh McDowell Launches Website to Fight Porn, ‘Church’s No. 1 Threat’.”

Do you know who Josh McDowell is?

No?

Good.

I’ll tell you, but you must promise me that you will not publicize his name or his ministry, and particularly not his most recent attempt at destroying my kingdom by preventing people from merely enjoying other people the way God made them.

Josh McDowell is an “apologist” which means that he goes about defending the Christian faith as he gives people reasons to believe in God, and his son Jesus Christ.  (Blechhhh!)

And he is very successful.  I know, because I watch daily has his ministry is responsible for snatching person after person from my kingdom in dramatic rescue operations involving persuasive reasoning.  Josh has been one of our Enemies No. 1 for many, many years.  Whatever you do, do not go to his website.  You will see that is full of rescue equipment that is best left idle.

But now he has gone a snatch too far.  You see, Mr. McDowell has launched a new website to raise awareness about online pornography which he says “is a problem big enough to cause the downfall of the church.”

Ouch!

This is going to hurt, my servants.  You see, for years I’ve been slowly drawing more and more people (men, mostly) into the destructively beautiful world of pornography.  And since I finally gained wide, private access into virtually every Christian man’s mind through the internet, I’ve succeeded in getting over half of men who call themselves Christians hooked on my deadly delights.

Pornography: it’s a beautiful thing, so to speak.

After all, what’s wrong with enjoying God’s creation in its most natural form?

And I’ve convinced every man who calls himself a Christian that his private excursions into my pornoland are harmless.  After all, if only he had a wife that met his needs, he wouldn’t need to supplement his selfish carnality behind his computer screen turned just so.

And for years I’ve used the harmless, “victimless”, expressions of God’s beauty to destroy marriages, break up families, drive men to poverty, and generally cause havoc in modern society.

It’s what I do.

And I do it well.

God’s beauty turned against him.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But this McDowell character has me worried.  He is the first major Christian apologist to come out with the recognition that pornography is the “church’s number one threat.”

Mr. McDowell is quoted:

The downfall of the church will not come from a lack of apologetic teaching; it will come from disintegration of the families in the church.

And he’s right.

He continued:

The greatest threat to the cause of Christ is pervasive sexuality and pornography. … Today we have, by and large, lost control of the controls because an intrusive immorality is just one click away from our children. With just one keystroke on a smartphone, iPad, or laptop, a child can open up some of the worst pornography and sexually graphic content you can imagine. There’s never been such access in history.

Too right for comfort.

The only thing he forgot was to give moi credit for this great feat of history.

Well, not the only thing.  He also forgot that in addition to hard porn that is just 1 click away, I’ve filled the TV screens of virtually home the world over with “sexually graphic” soft porn.  Almost every “sitcom” these days is filled with visual porn as well as sexual-laced “jokes”.

Children just eat that stuff up.  And parents who call themselves Christian sit by as the mealtime custodians.

If you don’t think prime time “family” viewing is soft porn, then I’ve doubly done my job.

Thank you.  I know, I’m good.

And on top of the earthly destruction I cause, let’s not forget the best part.  You see, pornography in both its hard and soft TV form sadden the heart of God.

But Mr. McDowell?  He must be stopped.  And I will tell you how, but this is a techniques that will only work for my most trusted servants.

What I’m going to instruct my servants to do next is only to be done by the most hardened and experienced among you.  If you waver at all on the truth, DO NOT do what I’m going to instruct you.

Here it is: go to Mr. McDowell’s website Just1ClickAway.org, and familiarize yourself with his major points (e.g., every second 30,000 people are viewing pornography), his main facts (e.g., pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate more than 300%), and other statements (e.g., in 56% of divorce cases, one party had an obsessive interest in porn sites).

Then, after you understand what he is saying, do what I do and go about to all your friends and acquaintances and spread lies to refute his points.  Make sure you try to make the argument about “free expression” of ideas, or about “privacy,” or about “victimless” activities.  Those usually work.

But please, my servants, we cannot let the truth be effectively communicated by the likes of Mr. McDowell.

If he is even mildly successful my kingdom will take a major hit.

Now, I need to go.  I see there is coming through the gates another person who called himself a Christian on earth while he enjoyed the nightglow of “free” carnality.

Free?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

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