Archive for atheism

Wait, Americans DID elect an atheist for president, didn’t they?

Posted in atheism, atheists, politics with tags , , on July 29, 2012 by devilbloggger

Polls.

Hey, my good servants and friends, did you hear the one about the lazy poll taker?  The one about the American pollster who boldly predicted what people “would” do based on what people “did” do?  No?  Well, it’s true.  This guys got a good gig going.  At least until he gets caught.  So, please, my servants, treat this post as private between you and me, and I’ll explain.

First, let me ask you a question.  You are all above average, so will all probably know this, but let me ask anyway: what’s the difference between someone who says he doesn’t believe in God, and someone who says he does, but acts like he doesn’t?

Hmmmm?

Yes, that’s rightNothing!

I see them every second of every day.  Scared, surprised faces of those who said one thing on earth and acted another thing.

I call them functional atheists, those pious souls on earth who went about saying “Lord, Lord” (and some even prophesy in his name, cast out devils (yikes!), and do many wonderful works), but didn’t do the Lord’s work.

Do you know what God calls them?

Fools!

Hey, wait a minute–the Bible calls the man who says in his heart there is no God a fool, AND Jesus calls those who hear his sayings but don’t do them fools.

Coincidence?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You see, my servants, the beautiful deception I’ve worked?  It’s not what a man says with his mouth, it’s what a man believes in his heart.  And what is in the heart will always be worked out in corresponding deeds.

Consider: if I said I believed in God with my mouth, but said in my heart there is no God, what would be my public position, on say, abortion rights?  Homosexual marriage?  The rule of law?  Forced confiscation of property to fund unGodly policies?  Traditional, conservative values?  Whether or not a Chick-fil-a could open in Tolerant Town?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Get it?  My world is full of functional atheists–those who differ from atheists only in what they say with their mouth.

Now, let me show you how this works out practically.

A USA Today poll just out shows “that 54% of those asked said they would vote a ‘well-qualified’ atheist in the Oval Office” (the US’s office of the presidency).

And guess what percentage of the vote Barack Obama got for president in 2008?  Take a look at what CNN reported:

Ha ha ha ha ha.  (Close enough!)

It’s no wonder, my friends that other polls show that most Americans can’t name Obama’s religion.  What religion?

Pollsters?

No, just confirming what is true but no one knew it.

Unknown truth.

I like that.

Why do Atheists Have a Sexual Harassment Problem?

Posted in atheism, atheists with tags , , on July 16, 2012 by devilbloggger

Harassment.

Atheists have disappointed me again, my servants.  Yes, those fools simply do not know how to act like they don’t believe in
God.  In fact, they prove that they are actually like me–they are not atheists; they are theophobes.  They simply hate God.

Hating God is a good start, but then the little fools go off and act like there is a God.  My desire is that God-haters act like God haters and stop acting like there is actually a transcendent morality that governs their behavior.

What?, you ask.

Let me use a recent article in the Washington Post to illustrate, my good but naive servants.  The On Faith section of the Washington Post recently ran a piece entitled, “Do Atheists Have a Sexual Harassment Problem?

It seems that those free-thinking mindslaves have a meeting coming up called The Amazing Meeting, or TAM.  And do you know what is amazing about it?  There are many less womenfolk attending this year than last.

Yes, it seems that the atheistically inclined babes aren’t so free thinking about, well, being treated like babes.  The atheist dames resent the blatant sexism displayed in previous meetings of the morally free.

Amazing.

Right?

But rest assured, my good friends.  The menfolk have noticed, and, according to the Post, are “asking whether they have a sexual harassment problem.  And, if so, what should be done?”

Yes, that is the question: “what should be done?”

And the foolish theophobes behind The Amazing Meeting came up with exactly the wrong answer.

You see, the question reflects the age-old question about what ought to be.

And the question of what ought to be is rational only (even to free thinkers) if there is a moral standard.  Otherwise, nothing “ought” to be, everything just is because it is.

Do you get it, my servants?

No?

Listen, the very fact that the atheistictheophobicmindslaves asked the question of what ought to be done reveals that they know, they know, that there is a right and wrong about sexual harassment.

But where does this right and wrong come from?

From other men?  If so, why should atheist men care?  From other women?  So why should atheist women care (most of them need not worry about unwanted touches anyway)?

No, my friends.  If it was just other men or women who set the standard atheists feel compelled to live by, they could easily ignore it.

But because these cowardly theophobes know in their hearts, even their conscience, that there is a right and wrong to this issue, they instituted a sexual harassment policy.

Cowards.   Hypocrites.  Fools.

It they were truly atheists, in answer to the question “what should be done?” they would have answered “Whatever the damn hell we want to do; who are you to tell us what to do?”

After all, who says sexual harassment is wrong?

Who?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, those atheist fools.  I love them, but they are still fools and they sometimes make me laugh.

But they make me laugh in a sad way.

I wish they would stop being cowards, and live like true atheists and God haters.

Like me.

But, alas, like me they are not really atheists.

Sigh.

Atheists make for mad scientists

Posted in agnostics, atheism, atheists, Darwinism, False religion, God, religion, science, Truth, Uncategorized, worldview with tags , , on February 25, 2012 by devilbloggger

Mad Scientists.

Do you know how to make a scientist mad?  Try this some time.  Go up to a scientist and say that you believe the natural evidence of creation supports a scientific inference of a creator.  That is, explain that the abundant evidence of design in the universe and the world around you naturally leads you to believe there might be an intelligent designer.  Unless you happen to find one who practices the scientific method objectively, you will succeed in provoking the wrath of certainty from a dogmatic person who will lecture you on the difference between “science” and “religion”.

You will, in fact, create a mad scientist.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, my servants, let me tell you one of my greatest kingdom secrets.  I’ve succeeded in making “science” the new world religion by carefully cultivating the discipline of science and the persona of scientists as being “objective” arbiters of truth.  Bias free, contemplating, rational minds inside humble bodies supporting white lab coats, dutifully doling out truth to the masses.

And my real triumph?  I’ve changed the definition of “truth” so that in effect, the only truth permitted by “science” and the new scientists must be, by definition, atheistic.

You don’t believe me?  Then you have never tried to make a mad scientist.

Try it.  You will see.  And then do your own research into what “science” is today, and you will find that the new paradigm is that “science” must posit only “natural” explanations for natural phenomena.

And God is not natural.

So science today is forced by the elite establishments of academia to be unnaturally atheistic regardless of the evidence.

Period.

Did you know, my friends, that over 85% of the members of the United State’s National Academy of Sciences are atheists?  And the atheists wonder openly how the other 15% got in.

Now you know why.

Please keep this information confidential; if this kingdom knowledge ever gets out my agenda could be set back to the days when God-believing scientists like Nicholas Copernicus, Sir Francis Bacon, Johannes Kepler, Galileo Galilei, Blaise Pascal, Isaac Newton, Robert Boyle, Michael Faraday, Gregor Mendel, William Thomson Kelvin, Max Planck, and Albert Einstein made ground-breaking scientific gains while openly practicing a belief in God.

Let me illustrate my great success on earth with a news article that caught my eye today.  The Telegraph reports, in an article by John Bingham entitled, “Richard Dawkins: I can’t be sure God does not exist,” on a dialog at Oxford University during which Dawkins admitted to Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Rowan Williams,  “that he preferred to call himself an agnostic rather than an atheist.”

What??

Richard Dawkins, one of my premeire beelze-buds, is as this article states, “regarded as the most famous atheist in the world.”

And now he’s “agnostic”?

Now, my friends, you know if you read this blog that I, like God, believe atheists to be fools.

There are no atheists in Hell.

But agnostics!  That’s a different story.  There are also no agnostics in Hell, but true agnostics on earth often never get here.

But after reading the article, I realize Richard Dawkins is as atheistic as he always was, which is to say, that like all those who profess to be atheists, he is merely an arrogant coward who refuse to face the evident truth of nature.  (I just hope Dawkins never realizes that he can be sure God does exist.)

But atheists do help further my kingdom on earth, so I find them useful fools (and, usually quite stupid on top of that!).

Let me explain, using Dawkins as Fool in Chief.

In attempting to sound intelligent, Dawkins, according to The Telegraph article, stated to the Archbishop:

“What I can’t understand is why you can’t see the extraordinary beauty of the idea that life started from nothing – that is such a staggering, elegant, beautiful thing, why would you want to clutter it up with something so messy as a God?”

Now, my servants, read that quote more carefully (I know many of you skip over quotes).  Think about what Servant Fool Dawkins said, and learn.

The idea that life started from nothing . . . why clutter it up with God?

That, my friends, is not a scientific observation; it is a statement of faith.

The idea that anything can come from nothing is antithetical to all of science.  A true scientist would never make such a statement.  Whether “life” (as Dawkins says), or any element of matter in the universe (as Dawkins believes), science is quite clear that nothing comes from nothing.

If ever there was truly “nothing” there would still be nothing today.

That’s science.

On the contrary, Dawkin’s statement is a statement of faith.  He is expressing the necessary faith of every atheist (although most are, frankly, not intelligent enough to grasp it): In the beginning there was nothing, and then “poof” out of nothing, came something.

It is scientific nonsense, but it makes perfect sense to atheists like Dawkins.

Here’s another secret, my friends: everyone believes something unbelievable.

Either something (the universe) just appeared like magic out of nothing (an unscientific thought, but held by Dawkins), or something was created by God.

Which statement is more scientifically valid?

Yes, you are right: God.

Because science says everything that came to be must have been caused.

Aristotle, a true scientist, decided there must be an Uncaused Cause.  And he was right.

Every thinking human not hindered by a philosophical bias comes to the same conclusion as Aristotle; the evidence demands it.

But not all humans are like Aristotle.  In fact, in today’s agenda-driven, philosophically constrained philosophical environment, humans who wish to be prominent, published, scientists must first express allegiance to practical atheism before they practice science.

Human => atheist => scientist is the progression I’ve arranged on earth.  Humans like Dawkins are, as shown by his statement above, atheists second, and scientists third.  Very simply, their “science” (something can come from nothing) is dictated not by the evidence, but by their atheism.

Human => scientist => atheist is impossible.  Humans who are scientists first, observing the evidence of creation and making natural, rational inferences, can never be atheists.

Which goes to show my great ability on earth, don’t you think?

And if you try to point out the atheist’s philosophical bias they get mad.  They lecture you on your ignorance of “science” and sue you for violating separation of Christianity and state, and deny you tenure, and call you names, and start blogs about you, and sit in their circle of atheist jerks and make each other feel good.

It’s a beautiful thing, really.

Now send Mr. Dawkins a thank you note for me, will you?

He’s a doll.

Can’t wait to meet him.

And those like him.

Mad scientists all, when they come rolling in my gates.

Something from nothing.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Madness, pure madness.

Neither godless nor Godless

Posted in atheism, atheists, progressives, secular humanism, Truth with tags , on December 8, 2011 by devilbloggger

Secular.

I love the news today, my friends.  I read in The Hill’s Blog Briefing Room about a “secular coalition” of voters in the USA called, of course, The Secular Coalition for America, who plan on flooding Capitol Hill with ‘godless voters’.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, my idiots at the secular coalition, Capitol Hill is already flooded with voters who ignore God.  So what is it you are trying to do?  Screw things up?

Oh, the confusion I sow.  Sometimes I have to shake my head at the inanity of people who swallow my lies on earth.

This time, according to The Hill’s article,

The Secular Coalition for America, a lobbying organization for “atheists, humanists and freethinkers,” will “flood Capitol Hill with godless voters to lobby Representatives,” according to a press release from the group.

Now I find this entire effort quite amusing.  Watching those I deceive act out my deception is one of my greatest pleasures.  Consider first: atheists and humanists are by definition not free thinkers.  They are not free to consider if God exists or not, are they?  As I’ve said before, atheists are free thinkers like prisoners are free walkers — they are free to walk about in their assumption-barred mind-cells.

Walk on, my atheist friends.  There is a time when you will be a truly free thinker.   Soon you will be an irredeemable theist, just like everyone else in Hell.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But my greater amusement comes from knowing many on earth consider themselves “godless”.  This is wrong on at least two levels.  Let me explain.

First, a human on earth can no more be Godless (as opposed to godless) than he or she can be Sunless.  God is there whether you acknowledge it or not, just as the Sun is still there even when it’s dark, and even if you shut yourself up in an enclosed room stuffing rags in every crack light seeps through.

God is.  Remember that.

Nothing else in the universe “is” in itself, pure existence, uncreated and eternal.  God can no more be “isn’t” than light can be dark.

It is impossible.

And it’s impossible for anyone on earth to be Godless.

But I like the thought.

Second, to the point of my deceived ones ready to descend on Washington DC, these people are not only not “Godless,” they are also not “godless”.

In fact, their god is their belly.  They live to please themselves, and every activity of their life, including “flooding Capitol Hill” is aimed at pleasing themselves.

It’s a beautiful sight.

I love watching the mass of humanity.  Thinking themselves godless and wishing themselves Godless, they are actually neither.

Vote on, you wretchedly deceived “godless” voters.

I do have one major concern, however.  I read in The Hill article that in 2011, these lobbying efforts “drew 80 people who participated …”

80??

Is that all?

Only 80 people showed up out of the greatest nation of atheistic, secular, Godhating, religion-bashing, evolution-loving Americans?

80???

Oh, this is embarrassing.

Someone please fix this.

Please?

Don’t embarrass me again.

HT: Weasel Zippers, who very cleverly commented on the title of The Hill’s blog (“Secular Coalition To Flood Capitol Hill With “Godless Voters”) with this insight: “Otherwise known as Democrats.”  Nice.  Very nice.

Liar, liar, pants on fire

Posted in atheism, atheists with tags , on October 28, 2011 by devilbloggger

Lying.

Hey, if an atheist lies, does it count?  Does it matter?  Think about that a moment while I relate to you a funny story that says a lot about those who are so sure God doesn’t exist they can’t seem to stop talking about him.

I’m referring to a story at the Huffington Post entitled “Atheists’ Billboard Falsely Attributes Quote To Thomas Jefferson.”  Sure enough, those loveable little bitternics paid for a billboard to promote their religion by bashing Christianity.  So far, so good, of course, but those petty little religomeddlers showed themselves to be the fools they are (this is one thing on which God and I agree!) by failing to fact check their Christobashification!

According to the Huffington Post:

The billboard includes a picture of [American “Founding Father”] Jefferson with the quote: “I do not find in Christianity one redeeming feature. It is founded on fables and mythology.”

However, the article reports that “further research reveals there’s no solid evidence that Jefferson ever uttered or wrote the words.”

In fact, there is not even any flimsy evidence that Thomas Jefferson ever said such a thing.

I have an idea!  I’m going to have someone put up a billboard saying “Atheists are fools!” and attribute it to Thomas Jefferson.  Of course ol’ Tom never said that; God did.  But maybe if atheists thought Jefferson said it they would change.  Right?  Why not?

According to an Orange County Register article on the same billboard, Bruce Gleason, a member of the atheist group Backyard Skeptics, explained the purposes of the sign, one of which is, “To let other people, non-believers, know that there’s a place you can go and share the idea that you can be good and do good without a religion or god.”

Hmmm.  You can be good and do good without religion or god?

Good?

Are you and your Backyard Fools doing good, Mr. Gleason?

I take it from your exhibition of your religion, that lying is good and liars do good, right?

So you must want people to believe that one can lie without religion?  Is that what you are demonstrating, Mr. Gleason?  Or that you can bear false witness, or take liberties with facts, or use any means, regardless how vile and despicable, for selfish ends?

Is that what you are trying to teach people?

If so, your point is taken, and, frankly, I’m with you.  Lying, cheating, and stealing can be done without religion.  I should know, because I am the father of all liars.  And I have my people on earth, many of them thinking themselves very smart skeptics, who live out my lies daily.

Atheists on earth (the only place in the universe you will find them) disappoint me.  But lying atheists?

They make me a proud papa.

And Mr. Gleason, son, you make me proud.

PS: And as for “a place you can go and share the idea that you can be good and do good without a religion or god,” I’ve got just the place.  You’ll know when you get here because we’ll all shout “pants on fire!”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Why won’t Richard Dawkins debate William Lane Craig?

Posted in atheism, atheists with tags , on October 24, 2011 by devilbloggger

Cynical.

I found in the UK Guardian an article that caught my eye because it mentioned my Fool’s Club friend Richard Dawkins.  You know Dawkins, right?  He’s one of my deluded “new atheists” who go about spewing bile and hatred in the name of reason and science.  I like bile and hatred.  I almost like Richard Dawkins.

The article, by Daniel Came and entitled “Richard Dawkins’s refusal to debate is cynical and anti-intellectualist,” makes some interesting points and raises some pressing questions.  The article explores Dawkin’s refusal to debate noted Christian apologist and debater William Lane Craig.   Essentially, Mr. Came, a self-proclaimed sceptic, believes Dawkins uses “opportunistic” excuses in refusing to debate Craig.  Mr. Came believes Dawkin’s excuse on a finer point of Craig’s interpretation of an Old Testament event actually is a “smokescreen to hide the real reasons for his refusal to debate Craig.”

A couple of months ago FoxNews reported on this phenomena in an article entitled “Christian Philosopher William Lane Craig Is Ready to Debate, but Finds Few  Challengers.”  In the FoxNews article, Dawkins is listed as one of many world-famous atheists who have turned down invitations to debate Craig, including the president of the British Humanist Association, Polly Toynbee, who pulled out of an agreed debate  at London’s Westminster Central Hall in October, saying she “hadn’t realized the  nature of Mr. Lane Craig’s debating style.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I’ve made them all fools, my friends.

Now Dawkins is an arrogant birdbrain, for sure.  I know because I was instrumental in deceiving him into what he is.  But I’m curious, my friends and servants: just why do you think Dawkins and other outspoken atheists refuse to debate Craig?

On second thought, bless ME!

Posted in atheism, atheists, political correctness, separation of church and state with tags , , , on September 29, 2011 by devilbloggger

Gesundheit!

Did you know that Wikipedia has an entry for “Responses to sneezing”?  Yes, my friends, nothing escapes those Wikipedians, who tell us that: “In English-speaking countries, the common verbal response to another person’s sneeze is “(God) bless you” or in the United States the much less common “Gesundheit” (from German, meaning “health”).”

God bless you???

Where does that come from?

What?

Wikipedia will tell us that also?

Well, what do you know?  Sure enough, look here–Wikipedia’s entry for “Bless you”.  Here’s the one I like:

Another version says that people used to believe that your soul can be thrown from your body when you sneeze, that sneezing otherwise opened your body to invasion by the Devil or evil spirits, or that sneezing was your body’s effort to force out an invading evil spirit. Thus, “bless you” or “God bless you” is used as a sort of shield against evil.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Now, I must admit, that while all this is based on silliness, the practice nevertheless disturbs me.  Maybe I’m thin-skinned.  Call it professional pride or what you will, but really, why does God have to be mentioned every time someone sneezes?

Well, my servants, thankfully one of my faithful on earth is doing something about it.  Yes, you should read the short ABC news story entitled, “Teacher penalizes students for saying ‘bless you.'”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

No kidding.  I knew it would finally happen — someone (a public school teacher, of course) takes God-hating, religion-despising, atheistic buffoonery to an absurd new level that only politically correct, secularistic, unholier-than-thou Americans and I can fully appreciate.

Now, the best part.  The teacher’s name (I’m not making this up) is Steve Cuckovich.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Sorry, I know he’s one of mine.  But people with names like Cuckovich and Weiner sometimes express such ironic public displays of onomatopoeic depravity that it even makes me laugh.

But I think my faithful Cuckoovich hates God so much that, according to the news story, “He’s even lowering students’ grades if they say “bless you” after someone sneezes.”

Yes, my good servants.  This fellow servant knocked 25 points off students’ grades for saying the phrase in class.  Now that’s being a doer of my will, and not a hearer only.  When called on this bizarrely wonderful practice, he decided to stop lowering grades, but he “will just find another way to discipline students for saying “bless you” in class.”

You go, Cuckoo, my man.

Now, like any good mind-darkened servant of mine, Cuckoo-man says the policy “has nothing to do with religion,” and then goes on to say that it is about religion:

“When you sneezed in the old days, they thought you were dispelling evil spirits out of your body,” Cuckovich said. “So they were saying, ‘god bless you’ for getting rid of evil spirits. But today, I said what you’re doing doesn’t really make any sense anymore.”

Not about religion, but all about God.  Now that’s logic I can revel in.

You see, my servants, how I work?  Let me make it clear.  Everyone on earth will have their mind conformed to the ways of the world, i.e., my ways, or to the ways of God.  It’s that simple.  Hardly anyone applies themselves to be not conformed to this world, and many have completely yielded themselves over to be conformed to the world.  Very few are transformed by the renewing of their mind.

To those with a mind conformed to this world hatred of God seethes in their very being.  Most keep it well hidden, but some are so exercised in their animosity to all things Godly that they react irrationally to the most benign of common courtesies.

And in America, the Land of the Free Atheist and home of the Brave God Haters, it is open season on all things Godly.  So people like Mr. Cuckovich can do with impunity what in any other time would be labeled outlandish .  After all, who is going to call him on his atheistically religious fanaticism?

Anyone? Anyone?

I didn’t think so.

Mr. Cuckoovich, I admire you.  I hope you don’t mind if I . . . tell you . . . personally . . . hang on . . .

Ahhh-CHOO!

BLESS YOU, Mr. Cuckoovich!!

(I did that just to make Mr. Cuckoovich go more cuckoo.)

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