Archive for Constitution

Coming Up: Welcome to Post-Constitution America

Posted in politics with tags on July 2, 2012 by devilbloggger


You may be familiar with my great and successful efforts at turning America into “Post-Christian America.”  That was easy — most Americans were not really Christians anyway.  But my bigger goal, my most coveted prize, is to turn America “Post-Constitution.”

For all my non-American friends, bear with me.  But on July 4, at the risk of showing my cards to all, I will disclose my long-term designs on the United States of America.  I’ll give you a hint as to one of my strategies–it’s to turn the United States into the Divided States.



But what about that dang Constitution?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Tune in this Dependence Day, July 4, my friends.


Gallup causing trouble (again)

Posted in abortion, liberals, Morality, Planned Parenthood, politics, Sexual revolution with tags , on May 24, 2012 by devilbloggger


Bad news on the wires today, my friends.  And I’m blaming the Gallup poll folks.  For my non-American readers, Gallup is a leading polling organization in the United States.  They ask all kinds of people all kinds of nosey questions, including stupid questions (for most Americans) like, “Are you for or against the basic human rights the Founding Fathers enshrined in the Constitution.”

Well, what red-blooded American wouldn’t be for constitutionally protected basic human rights?  The Founding Fathers, by the way, made it clear in the Declaration of Independence that these rights are inalienable because they derive from their creator.


Fortunately, no American children are ever exposed to these evil documents.  (How many Americans even know what inalienable means?)

And even more fortunately for my kingdom, my servants, is that those amazing Founding Fathers were primarily concerned with the rights of Mounding Mothers.

You did not know that?

Yes, in addition to ensuring future Americans would have rights to free speech, free exercise of religion, and the right to bear arms . . . wait, I thought these rights were inalienable!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

(Sorry, my friends.  But those Americans let their rights be taken from them with hardly a whimper.)

But back to my point–for some reason the Americans willingly let government quietly strip their rights to speech, religion and guns, rights for which many revolutionaries gave their lives.  But fortunately, there is one right enshrined in the US Constitution that will likely never be taken away.

In fact, thousands still die for this right each year.

Yes, it’s the constitutionally protected right of Mounding Mothers to end their mounding together with their motherhood.  And with each end to motherhood a little mound-causing person dies.

An innocent person, at that.

Sometime before their little mound is even detectable.

My kingdom come, my will be done on earth as it is in Hell.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

So, you ask, what does Gallup have to do with this?

Well, the Gallup meddlers are stirring up a non-controversy by asking people if they identify themselves as “pro-choice” or not.

Think about it, my friends, why is the question even being asked?

Really, why?

Does Gallup go around asking people if they consider themselves “pro-free speech”?

You see, my friends, the beauty of constitutionally protected rights that derive from God is that it doesn’t matter if you like them or not — they are guaranteed rights to all (already born) human beings.

And the right for a mother to end her motherhood was, thanks to the amazing foresight of the Founding Fathers, enshrined in the United States Constitution.

So why does Gallup keep asking people if they are for it or against it?

But it’s even worse, my servants.

It seems that in asking the question the Gallup troublemakers found a devastating result.  According to today’s,

The percentage of Americans who identify themselves as “pro-choice” is at the  lowest point ever measured by Gallup, according to a new survey released Wednesday.

Yes, a record low 41 percent of Americans now identify themselves as “pro-choice” (which is a euphemism for “anti-Mounding Mothers”).  And worser yet, 50 percent of Americans now consider themselves “pro-life”!

Blechhh!  Blechhhh!

Yes, it’s bad, my servants, and I put much of the blame on Gallup.

By continually asking whether people are “pro-choice” or “pro-life” (Gallup has been asking this question since 1995), they keep alive the notion that maybe, just maybe, abortion is not so inalienable after all (there’s that word again; look it up!)

Does Gallup go around asking people if they are “pro-constitutional rights” or not?

Then why ask the same question differently by substituting “pro-choice” for “pro-constitutional rights?”  The terms are synonymous, right?

By asking the question Gallup reminds everyone that, in fact, the right that thousands die for each year might actually not be so constitutional.

In fact, those thousands might actually die for something that is not only not consitutional, but might just be wrong.

And when people no longer have the cover of “well, it’s legal, so it must be right,” they will have to face what they already sense in their hearts: that abortion is wrong.

Plain wrong.

Gallup, please stop.

61% of Americans diss the U.S. Constitution

Posted in abortion with tags , on May 23, 2011 by devilbloggger

Oh dear.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh DEAR.  Did you read, my servants, the devastating news out of America’s heartland?  No, not the tornadoes that killed hundreds and destroyed many more lives.  I’m talking about the Gallup survey published today that says 61% of American adults–including some who describe themselves as “pro-choice”–say abortion should be illegal in all or most circumstances.

Oh dear!

Can I be honest for a moment, my dear servants?  Very few news items bother me, I mean truly bother me.  But the right to abortion is one of my hot-buttons.  Touch it and I get testy.  Push hard and I can get downright nasty.

I’ve labored tirelessly for decades now to convince people that already-born women have a right to control their own bodies.  “Get your legislation off my body!” I taught generations of already-born women and their irresponsible, no-good menfolk to mindlessly chant. 

I even got the already-born woman’s right to control her body enshrined in the American Constitution as a bedrock right, a fundamental human right along with life (of the already born), liberty (of the already born) and the pursuit of selfish happiness (of the already born).

Tell me, my servants, is it possible that 61% of American adults could believe that the right to freedom of speech should be illegal in all or most circumstances? 

Is it conceivable that 61% of American adults could be convinced that the right to a speedy and public trial should be illegal in all or most circumstances?

Can you even imagine that 61% of American adults could be persuaded that the right to keep and bear arms . . . well, maybe not that one, but you get my point, yes?

This is serious, my servant friends.   The Gallup survey results, reported at, were based on questions to 1,018 American adults, only 45% of whom identified as pro-life.

Did you read that correctly, my friends?  In a survey of over 1000 American adults, of which only 45% are pro-life, 61% said that abortion should be legal only under certain circumstances.



Hold your noses, my servants; it gets worse.  About 71% of respondents said they thought abortion should be illegal in at least some cases (22% said it should be illegal in all circumstances!).

Clearly, we have work to do my servants.  We must educate the adult population in America on Constitutional principles and the rule of law. 

If it’s legal it’s right, right?  And if it’s in the Constitution, it’s a human right, right?


You Americans are going soft on me.  New technology that detects heartbeats within days of conception, that shows images of hands and feet that make a blob look human, that permits viability earlier and earlier–these contraptions must be turning you Americans into religious fanatics.

But just remember: in America, no amount of technology or religious fanaticism can change a fundamental legal right.  And abortion is a fundamental, legal, Constitutional right.

For now.

Which is what worries me.

But I take heart in one Elizabeth G.’s comment to the story.  My gal Liz stood up for me, although she scared me at first with this pronouncement:

There is NO DEBATE on the fact that life begins at conception. It is already empirical.

But then she set me at ease with some sophistry about other products of conception like “the placenta and umbilical cord and a whole bunch of pieces of parts that aren’t ‘persons’,” which led to this closing flash of brilliance:

And it isn’t murder. To be murder, it would have to be illegal.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

So it is life, and it is human, but it’s not murder to kill the “person” (him or her) because it’s legal to do so!

How convenient!

And that, my servants, is why abortion must remain legal.

If only I could make it legal to kill everyone.  My work on earth would be done!

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