Archive for Obama

ObamaCare: Just a Spoonful of Snooker

Posted in christians, congress, democracy, Government, liberals, political correctness, progressives, worldview with tags , on June 29, 2012 by devilbloggger

ObamaCare.

Oh yeah.  Me and my beelzebud.  We done it.  We pulled off forcing the Americans to take their medicine–and all it took was a bit of snooker!  Even I didn’t see that one coming.  But it’s done.  Happy days are gone again, my friends.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Forward, my friends!

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Obama supports gay marriage? Surprise?

Posted in homosexuality, liberals, marriage, Obama, political correctness, same sex marraige with tags , on May 13, 2012 by devilbloggger

Really?

I was amused this week, my friends, at all the feigned surprise when my beelzebud Obama actually came out of his CINO (Christian in name only) closet to support gay marriage.  REALLY?  Really?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

It’s news that Obama supports gay marriage?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, I love the world I’ve created where one’s actions are ignored and their words, as empty or lying as they may be, are taken at two-face value.  In this case, the fact that people actually “wondered” what Obama’s views on same-sex marriage might be proves my great power on earth.

Let me impart some wisdom to you, my readers.  This will come as no surprise to long-time readers of this blog.  (You can search on “Obama” to see all my brilliant analysis of this, my favorite US citizen).  But I’ll tell you a sure-fire (so to speak) way to know everything Obama would do for any given topic.

Ready?

Here it is: for any given topic, subject, decision, statement, etc., simply ask yourself what would Satan do (WWSD)?

Alternatively, you could ask WWJD, and then do the opposite.  In every case, however, you will find that WWOD is exactly the same as WWSD.

In this case, for example, between Jesus and I (moi) which one supports same-sex marriage?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And Obama?

See how easy it is?

Obama, my CINO-in-chief, thrills me with his consistent faithfulness in carrying out my will on earth as it is in Hell.

In fact, I challenge you, my servants, to come up with one decision, policy, action, or other verifiable display of belief that could not easily be inserted as an answer to the question, “WWSD?”

Try it.

It’s like a game.

A game that illustrates an important game that I’m winning.

Because I’m Liberal One.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Me and Rush Limbaugh’s big mouth!

Posted in abortion, freedom, Government, marriage, Obama, political correctness, politics, Sexual revolution, Truth with tags , , , on March 6, 2012 by devilbloggger

Fluke.

It’s not a fluke, I suppose, my friends.  And it’s not your fault.  I leaked some kingdom knowledge in my February 12th post, and I forgot to remind you to keep it confidential.  And one of you must have blabbed.  It looked bad, and I’ve laid low this past week trying to salvage my self-inflicted bad fluck–I mean luck.

My faithful readers will understand.

Just weeks ago I was beaming with pride as the American liberals insisted on putting their hands on (and in) women’s bodies by dictating through their dictator that all forms of birth control must now be dictated as part of the welfare dole for all women.

Imagine my delight in the twisted logic of liberals:  Liberal women love to chant “Keep your hands off my body” when they want the government-sanctioned right to kill the products of conception.  But they chant “Put your hands on my body” when they want the government-sanctioned right to free contraception.

Go figure.

Liberal women see no inconsistency in demanding control of other people’s money because they have no control over their own money, much less their own bodies.

I was ahead of the spin curve on this, my friends, and it almost cost me dearly.

Recall that I previously dealt with the controversy of the Obama administration’s demand that all employers, including those having a Biblically informed religious conscience, pay for all forms of contraception of its employees.

At the time I was revelling in my great success in confounding the Americans with mediaswirlification around “women’s rights” and “religious liberties.”

But what everyone was missing was my main goal in this, which went to the heart of freedom!  Yes, everyone seemed to be missing the fact that a modern dictator was dictating to private entities what they must provide free to others.

The dictator was dictating that other people must, based on His Dictateness alone, pay for the sex needs of all women everywhere, including one Ms. Sandra Fluke, a 30-year-old privileged law student going to one of the most expensive law schools in the country.

In a fit of pride, I gloated a rhetorical question: “Where are the sane Americans?”

Remember?

And then I asked this fateful question:

Where is someone to stand up and tell Ms. Keely and Ms. Sandra to stop begging for someone else’s money and control their own friggin’ bodies or go pay for their own damn birth control?

Well, that’s when my luck turned, and out of nowhere surfaced One Sane American.

My fit of pride became fit to be tied as I listened daily for the next week or so as One Rush Limbaugh, a seemingly singular voice of sanity, picked up on my tactic and drove home the point daily: this issue is bigger than “women” and “religion;” it goes to the heart of FREEDOM.

Blechhhh!

Did someone leak my kingdom strategy to Mr. Limbaugh?

Of course someone did.

But what was I to do?  Mr. Limbaugh has an audience of millions, an engaging (sometimes enraging) style, and a way of putting the complex into simple terms that anyone but liberals can understand.

He is Conservative One, and he nailed this one: on what basis should taxpayers or insurers (i.e., other people) be required to pay for women’s recreational (and apparently uncontrollable) sex needs?

I recall one of Mr. Limbaugh’s more lucid analogies.  He imagined a neighbor knocking at his door and telling him that she didn’t have any money for birth control.  And then, after getting a “so what?” look from him, he imagined her telling him that she wanted him to pay for her birth control.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But that is exactly what Ms. Fluke is doing.

Exactly.

Ms. Fluke is knocking on every American’s door and demanding that they pay her so she can go get contraception to have all the sex she wants with guys who are apparently getting all the free sex they want.

And I was truly worried that Mr. Limbaugh’s golden microphone might blow my stratetacticification.

And then. . .

Oh, am I one lucky devil.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Mr. Limbaugh, in trying to illustrate absurdity said what many were thinking–paying for Ms. Fluke’s lack of self-control and sex life?  What does that make her??

What do you call women who have no self-control in the area of sex, and take other people’s money for it?

But, of course, the days when loose women were shamed are long gone.

Now, Ms. Fluke’s parents are supposed to be proud of her.

Hey, I know I am.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And Mr. Limbaugh?

Well, he flew a little too close to the flame.

Conservative One, meet Liberal One.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

(Oh, but he’ll be back.)

Blechhhh!

Obama’s “War on Religion”? Not

Posted in atheism, False religion, God, progressives, religion, Truth with tags , , on December 7, 2011 by devilbloggger

Religion.

What would a “war on religion” really look like?  I have ensured for the moment that “religion” in much of the world is associated only with theistic beliefs, especially Christianity.  In the United States, for example, the venerable “separation of church and state” is really only an excuse to separate Christianity from state.

And separate it I have.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

That’s why I found it amusing today, my friends, when I read this headline on Fox News: Perry  TV Ad: I Can Defend Faith from Obama’s “War on Religion”.

Obama’s “war on religion“?

I don’t think so, my friends.  But I’m glad others do.

You see, Obama has no beef with my religions, including those which embrace the theology of atheism.  In fact, Obama makes peace with all belief systems that reject Godly morals, Godly behavior, and Godly thinking.

His policies and public statements prove my words to all who have ears to hear and eyes to see.

Fortunately, of course, I get doubly blessed because I’ve stopped most ears and blinded most eyes.

It’s what I do.

So Governor Perry can carry on all he likes about Obama’s “war on religion.”

I just hope he and others never figure out that it’s really just a war on Truth, which is another way of saying it is merely a war on Christianity.

Because there are many religions (in fact, all but one) which I love!

Peace.  And quiet.  My friends.

Most US Catholics Need to Get a Clue

Posted in abortion, Catholic Church, christians, Obama with tags , , , on November 17, 2011 by devilbloggger

Clue.

Do you know what you call a Catholic who does not hold to Catholic teaching?  Well, apparently you still call him or her a “Catholic”.  And because I’ve hoodwinked large swaths of “Catholics” (quotes necessary, sorry) to continue self-identifying as Catholics, the entire institution is headed to destruction.

Not that that’s a bad thing, of course.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Let me illustrate, my servants.  There is hardly a better object lesson in Catholic split personality disorder than the Catholic response to President Barack Obama.  According to Michael Gerson’s opinion in today’s Washington Post, entitled, “Obama turns his back on Catholics,” 54% of Catholics supported Obama’s election!

54%!

More than half of Catholics supported a man who has absolutely no clue about Christianity, including Catholicism.  More than half of Catholics supported a man who wholeheartedly, without apology, with a proven record, supports abortion. (Obama only reluctantly stops short of wholeheartedly supporting infanticide).  More than half of Catholics supported a man who throws his support behind homosexuality, same-sex marriage, and forcing every American to celebrate it with him.

Someone needs to get a clue.

Either Obama needs to get a clue.  Or . . .

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You see, my friends, I am the clue-hider.  With clues lying around like blinking strobe lights of anti-Catholic sentiment, I still duped 54% of Catholics, oops, “Catholics,” into supporting Obama.

Oh, I’m good.

But even better than getting those 54% to support a man who hates their values, I have even convinced God-believing institutions to support a man who continually saddens the heart of God.

As Gerson states, in 2009 I convinced the University of Notre Dame to invite “a champion of abortion rights to deliver the school’s commencement address.”

Clue, anyone?

In his address at the University of Our Lady, Obama made clear that “ladies” on earth would trump God when he lied about “honor[ing] the conscience of those who disagree with abortion.”  Obama spoke of “ensuring that all of our health-care policies are grounded not only in sound science but also in clear ethics, as well as respect for the equality of [already born] women.”

Clue, anyone?

Obama has not turned his back on Catholics; he always had his back to Catholics.  Just as he has always had his back turned to God.

But, as Gerson documents, fortunately for Obama, 54% of clueless Catholics had his back.

Gerson continues:

Now the conscience protections of Catholics are under assault, particularly by the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).

Why?  I’ll bet you can guess.

Close.  Here’s why: because, as Gerson writes, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB), using federal grant money, administers programs that aid victims of human trafficking don’t refer for abortions.  And because they won’t refer for abortions, the HHS last month abruptly ended its funding.

According to Gerson:

It did not matter that an independent review board had rated the bishops’ program more effective than those of its competitors — or that career HHS employees objected to the politicized handling of the grant.

The HHS defended its decision because it was “giving preference to grantees that offer ‘the full range of legally permissible gynecological and obstetric care.’”

Clue, anyone?

The HHS, my servants, like Obama himself, has a short list of nonnegotiables.  And one of them abortion.  No matter what he says in feigned support of a pro-life position, he is lying.  It is clearly apparent to anyone with a clue.

But, because clues are in short supply, instead we get Sebelius at the HHS, of whom Gerson writes:

Sebelius — an outspoken pro-choice Catholic — has a long history of conflict with Catholic authorities.

Does anyone see the clear contradiction here?  Actually, no, which is a sign of my great skill in clue-hiding.  No one recognizes the clear oxymoron in that sentence, like describing someone as a 6-foot tall midget.  It is definitionally impossible.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Gerson concludes:

Sebelius is becoming a political embarrassment at an inconvenient time. It will be significantly harder for Obama to repeat his appeal to Catholic voters while a part of his administration is at war with Catholic leaders and Catholic belief.

Actually, it won’t be hard at all.

Because most Catholics are “Catholics”.

And Obama knows they have his back.

Someone does, after all, have a clue.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

When Bible Illiterates Control

Posted in Bible, christians, False religion, Government, liberals, politics, religion with tags , , on November 2, 2011 by devilbloggger

Illiterate.

Here’s a question for you, my servants: what’s the difference between someone who can’t read the Bible, and someone who doesn’t?  If you can answer that question correctly you are well on your way to understanding how I establish my kingdom on earth as it is in Hell.  Because the primary obstacle to my complete control on earth is the presence of the Bible in the hands of men who are not ashamed and who correctly handle the word of truth.  Blechhh!

So what’s the difference?

Right! Nothing!

There is no difference between the person who can not read the Bible and one who does not read the Bible.

I give you credit, my faithful friends; it took me years to learn that one.  For centuries I tried to destroy the Bible, ban the Bible, burn the Bible, and in every way possible try to remove the Bible from the face of the earth.  I had my kings issue edicts, my councils draw up penalties, and my lords punish publishers.

To no avail.

I failed at every effort.  Despite my worst, the Bible grew to be the perennially best-selling book of all time.  I must say, my servants, it was quite embarrassing.

And then I noticed something.  All over the earth every best-sold Bible tended more often than not to sit on a table or shelf unopened.  Comfortable Christians and those who call themselves Christians the world over bought Bibles aplenty, only to leave the holy words in the dark confines of closed pages.

So I changed my tactics, my servants.  Rather than try to stamp out the Bible, I started distracting Christians.  Sometimes I used the deceitfulness of riches and the cares of this world, sometimes I used trials and tribulations.  In either instance, 9 times out of 10, the Christian left the Bible unopened.

Today, even in many churches across Western cultures the Bible remains unopened.

I’m good. I’m really good. (And humble).

And when Christians leave their Bibles unopened, the culture at large becomes Bible illiterate.  And a Bible illiterate culture moves like water downhill to a culture that does my will on earth.

Let me give you an example that made us laugh down here today, my servants.  According to an AFP story in Yahoo!News entitled, Obama: God backs jobs plan, President Obama, who I can assure you rarely reads the Bible for meaning, said today that “even God wanted to put Americans back to work.”

Now, of course God does want Americans working, but what is President Obama doing channeling what God “wants”?  Since when does Obama care what God wants?  What, Father Obama do you think God wants for unborn children?  What, Rabbi Obama, do you think God wants with respect to the marriage covenant?

Huh?

In fact, Obama’s clumsy Biblificity came in the same breath as he rebuked Congress for passing a bill reaffirming the US motto “In God We Trust”!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But it gets better, my friends.

Obama further showed his theological mala fides as he exposed his Bibleignoranimity by stating:

I trust in God, but God wants to see us help ourselves by putting people back to work.

Just where does God say this, Rev. President?

The fun got funner when Obama’s spokesman, Jay Carney, denied that Obama had gone too far in ignorantly representing a God he does not know, by clarifying:

I believe that the phrase from the Bible is ‘the Lord helps those who help themselves’.

Actually, Brother Carney, that phrase is not in the Bible.

And now the funner fun gets even more funnerific.  Right Reverend Carney, according to a Politico.com story, is quoted in the full quote as saying:

Well, I believe the phrase from the Bible is, “The Lord helps those who help themselves.” And I think the point the President is making is that we should — we have it within our capacity to do the things to help the American people.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you see what is happening, my friends?

Remember a person who does not read a Bible is no different from a person who does not have a Bible.

Here we have two Bible illiterates trying to invoke the Bible for a liberal talking point.  Not only do Obama and Carney “quote” a non-Biblical truth as Biblical, Carney then uses the non-Biblical quote to stand for the exact opposite proposition!

What Carney said:  “God helps those who help themselves. Therefore, we must help the people (because apparently God does not).”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And these people control your country, you Americans.

Close.

We are very close to my will on earth as it is in Hell.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Obama is Panderific

Posted in Bible, christians, liberals, Obama, political correctness, politics, religion with tags , , on September 25, 2011 by devilbloggger

Pander.

I love to cater to or profit from the weaknesses or vices of others.  Did you know that?  Of course you did.  I look for the weak, the vulnerable, the discouraged.  And when I find them, do you know what I do?  I woo them into a false sense of security in my lies and deceit.  And when I have them wrapped up in a dependent state of false security, I do everything I can to destroy them.

It’s who I am.

My yoke is hard, my burden is heavy.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

So you know, my servants, that I gain great satisfaction when I see an earthly servant emulate my genius, and I saw it today.  Yes, I witnessed a politician in full pander mode.  And not only was this a beautiful example of pandery at it’s best, the panderific panderification was done by no less than His Majesty (that always gets a laugh down here), Barack Obama, US President and Panderer in Chief.

I’m referring to a story that ran in the Washington Times today, my servants.  Joel Gehrke’s commentary in Beltway Confidential entitled, “Obama asks CBC for Biblical faith in his agenda,” chronicles Obama’s latest attempt at pulling off one of the oldest tricks in the book (after all, it is my trick, and I am by definition one of the oldest tricksters around): pandering.

But Obama, believing he can excel where others merely imitate, pandered awkwardly by appealing to the religious faith of black voters.  You see, whenever an unbeliever (in God) tries to act like a believer (in God) the dissimulation always makes the actor look a bit silly and disingenuous, like a student who failed to read an assignment attempting to answer a teacher’s question.  What must seem like a great performance to the student appears pathetic to everyone else.

According to Gehrke’s commentary,

President Obama made an appeal to the religious faith of black voters at a Congressional Black Caucus rally, likening Biblical prophets who had faith in God — and so refused to worship an idol — to the black voters who “keep the faith” by supporting him and his policies – and, he hopes, his reelection campaign.

Obama, who had already told blacks to “stop complainin’“, must think that no one can see his pandereligosophistry.  He went so far as to analogize faith in him to the faith of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, three captive Jews who were thrown in a fiery furnace because they would not worship according to the policies of their particular pandering political leader.

Huh?

Well, Obama, who I ensure has no concept of true faith in God, clumsily continued that analogy, equating, as Gehrke wrote:  the Jews’ “faith in the things not seen” to the more mundane “belief that if you persevere a better day lies ahead.”

You see what I mean?  Not a clue.

Let me clue you in, my servants.  The faith of the Jews was not a faith in some foggy “things not seen;” it was a faith in a living God, a God whose decrees must be kept even unto the point of death under a contrary political regime.   They were not persevering for “better days ahead.”  Their faith was a faith to die for.

I hate those with the faith of those three captive Jews.  That faith produced a fourth Person in that fiery furnace, and that faith continues to produce that Person among any two or three gathered today .  I could not stand against that Person then, and I cannot stand against that Person today.

Obama, because I’ve made him Bible illiterate, further trivialized the Jews so-called faith “in things unseen” as “crazy faith.”  And Obama, because I’ve also made him God-illiterate, trivialized himself by analogizing “crazy faith” in him to “crazy faith” in God.

My oh my, I am good. 

I’m crazy good.

And because most people in the US are also Bible and God illiterate, Obama’s vain foolishness goes almost unnoticed.  Which is good, because rarely do my lies and deceptions get such blatantly pathetic public display. Such obvious, awkward attempts at religisopolitcalpanderifity tend to work against my kingdom goals.

Worse yet, in this case, where Obama’s duplicity did get noticed, it got noticed by someone not fooled.  As Gehrke concluded:

The only “kind of crazy” on display in this speech is the one that says faith in Obama’s policies is kind of like faith in God.

He’s right.

That’s why I hope Gehrke’s view does not get broader press coverage.

Crazy, man.

HT to Weasel Zippers!

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