Sugar-coated what???

Sandwich.

My name was used in vain today, my servants.  Did you hear it?  Yes, it appears that now I’ve been dragged into the United States’ debt ceiling debate.  And my name is used in a way that shows complete ignorance of both who I am, and what I eat.

I’m referring to a news report, which I found courtesy of Weasel Zippers, who blogged on an article from Roll Call entitled, “Debt Deal Emerging with Righward Tilt.”

One member of Congress with a distinct leftward lean is reported to be so distraught that my name was invoked:

Rep. Emanuel Cleaver, chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus, said early reports of the new deal appeared to be “a sugar-coated Satan sandwich.”

A what???

Does this ding-a-ling even know what he’s talking about?  I’m Liberal One, and even I would not use such language.  According to the Urban Dictionary a “Satan Sandwich” is:

A sandwich made by Satan.  The chiefest of hell’s dark delights, it is said that just one bite of it arouses an unspeakable lust of terrific potency.  Ex: “Man, this satan sandwich makes me so randy!”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I believe Mr. Cleaver would find such a culinary delight a bit too much to handle.  Does he really think the US’s debt deal is that arousing?  Is this America’s new stimulus package?

In truth, Mr. Cleaver is throwing around words for which he has no clue of their meaning.  That’s why he’s not in charge and never will be.

But, of course, I like him.  I like his politics.  I like his worldview. 

I love any policy, any legislation, any person, that supports enslaving people.  And America’s debt is making slaves of all Americans.

And they don’t even know it.

If Americans, especially those like Mr. Cleaver, believed in my existence, they would not be so casual and ignorant in their attempt at moving rhetoric. 

Not only did Mr. Cleaver use the term Satan Sandwich in a completely incorrect manner according to its accepted usage, but he clearly has no concept of who I am, or what Hell is like.  And this from a Methodist dude with an M.Div. from Saint Paul School of Theology.

Satan Sandwich, Mr. Cleaver?  What do they teach at Saint Paul’s School of Theology?

I’m happy to have a sandwich made for you.  But while you can you may want to consider a different menu.

Ha ha ha ha ha.