On second thought, bless ME!

Gesundheit!

Did you know that Wikipedia has an entry for “Responses to sneezing”?  Yes, my friends, nothing escapes those Wikipedians, who tell us that: “In English-speaking countries, the common verbal response to another person’s sneeze is “(God) bless you” or in the United States the much less common “Gesundheit” (from German, meaning “health”).”

God bless you???

Where does that come from?

What?

Wikipedia will tell us that also?

Well, what do you know?  Sure enough, look here–Wikipedia’s entry for “Bless you”.  Here’s the one I like:

Another version says that people used to believe that your soul can be thrown from your body when you sneeze, that sneezing otherwise opened your body to invasion by the Devil or evil spirits, or that sneezing was your body’s effort to force out an invading evil spirit. Thus, “bless you” or “God bless you” is used as a sort of shield against evil.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Now, I must admit, that while all this is based on silliness, the practice nevertheless disturbs me.  Maybe I’m thin-skinned.  Call it professional pride or what you will, but really, why does God have to be mentioned every time someone sneezes?

Well, my servants, thankfully one of my faithful on earth is doing something about it.  Yes, you should read the short ABC news story entitled, “Teacher penalizes students for saying ‘bless you.'”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

No kidding.  I knew it would finally happen — someone (a public school teacher, of course) takes God-hating, religion-despising, atheistic buffoonery to an absurd new level that only politically correct, secularistic, unholier-than-thou Americans and I can fully appreciate.

Now, the best part.  The teacher’s name (I’m not making this up) is Steve Cuckovich.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Sorry, I know he’s one of mine.  But people with names like Cuckovich and Weiner sometimes express such ironic public displays of onomatopoeic depravity that it even makes me laugh.

But I think my faithful Cuckoovich hates God so much that, according to the news story, “He’s even lowering students’ grades if they say “bless you” after someone sneezes.”

Yes, my good servants.  This fellow servant knocked 25 points off students’ grades for saying the phrase in class.  Now that’s being a doer of my will, and not a hearer only.  When called on this bizarrely wonderful practice, he decided to stop lowering grades, but he “will just find another way to discipline students for saying “bless you” in class.”

You go, Cuckoo, my man.

Now, like any good mind-darkened servant of mine, Cuckoo-man says the policy “has nothing to do with religion,” and then goes on to say that it is about religion:

“When you sneezed in the old days, they thought you were dispelling evil spirits out of your body,” Cuckovich said. “So they were saying, ‘god bless you’ for getting rid of evil spirits. But today, I said what you’re doing doesn’t really make any sense anymore.”

Not about religion, but all about God.  Now that’s logic I can revel in.

You see, my servants, how I work?  Let me make it clear.  Everyone on earth will have their mind conformed to the ways of the world, i.e., my ways, or to the ways of God.  It’s that simple.  Hardly anyone applies themselves to be not conformed to this world, and many have completely yielded themselves over to be conformed to the world.  Very few are transformed by the renewing of their mind.

To those with a mind conformed to this world hatred of God seethes in their very being.  Most keep it well hidden, but some are so exercised in their animosity to all things Godly that they react irrationally to the most benign of common courtesies.

And in America, the Land of the Free Atheist and home of the Brave God Haters, it is open season on all things Godly.  So people like Mr. Cuckovich can do with impunity what in any other time would be labeled outlandish .  After all, who is going to call him on his atheistically religious fanaticism?

Anyone? Anyone?

I didn’t think so.

Mr. Cuckoovich, I admire you.  I hope you don’t mind if I . . . tell you . . . personally . . . hang on . . .

Ahhh-CHOO!

BLESS YOU, Mr. Cuckoovich!!

(I did that just to make Mr. Cuckoovich go more cuckoo.)